


Uncharted

by Tasogareban



Category: Reylo - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Dubious Consent, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Shameless Smut, Smut, So much smut, why did I write so much smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 06:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 50,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tasogareban/pseuds/Tasogareban
Summary: When Rey and Kylo Ren become trapped on an uncharted planet in the Unknown Regions, the two Force Sensitives have to learn to work together to survive. But when attraction sparks between them, Rey realizes that surviving may just be the least of her worries.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey readers! This was a NaNoWriMo project and it has taken me a bit to try to get it into semi-readable material, lol. Sorry for the major delay! Hope you guys like it and I hope to see some familiar faces commenting! I'm already clearing out my walk-in fridge!! XD

**Disclaimers:** The entire **Star Wars** universe and any familiar characters in this fic do not belong to me. They belong to creators George Lucas, J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson and all of the wonderful people behind the scenes. The plot of this one-shot does belong to me though. Also, I always welcome good-natured comments and constructive criticism but nothing else (no flames, no insults, nothing disrespectful). 

**Title:** Uncharted

**Main Characters/Main Pairing (if any):** Kylo Ren/Ben Solo  & Rey ( _Reylo_ )

**Rating:** Explicit

**Spoilers/Timeline:** Just to be on the safe side, all of the **Star Wars** movies including _The Last Jedi_. This fic takes place after the events in TFA but before TLJ.

**Author:** Tasogareban/DayZeeChayn, both at Tumblr. Tas is the main account but DayZee is my shipping blog.

**Author Note (A/N):** Hey readers! This story was written super quick during my NaNoWriMo challenge so there will probably be a ton of inconsistencies regarding the Unknown Regions and the planets within, the amount of time it would take to travel there, etc. If we can gloss right over all of that, I like to think you will enjoy the fic, lol. This was originally supposed to be a one-shot. Now that it is complete, I don’t know why I thought it could have been. Either way, hope you guys like it!

**Summary:** When Rey and Kylo Ren become trapped on an uncharted planet in the Unknown Regions, the two Force Sensitives have to learn to work together to survive. But when attraction sparks between them, Rey realizes that surviving may just be the least of her worries.

 

 

**Uncharted**

 

**Chapter One:**

 

                In hindsight, maybe it had been a bad idea, she thought with the beginnings of a grimace.

                She had not expected the sleek black ship to appear like a shadow in the sun. With the First Order discovering the Resistance’s new base of operations, the attack had been sudden and brutal, and all she had thought upon seeing the TIE Silencer was to distract the pilot and draw him away from the fight. He was their strongest weapon; even without touching the ground, he had lit up a good amount of the Resistance’s X-wings, almost taking even Poe out in the process until she had fired at the knight to catch his attention and then swiveled in the sky and run.

                He had taken the bait, the TIE rounding about and shooting off on her tail in the X-wing, engaging her and firing his laser cannons widely as he fell into line behind her. He had acquired those piloting skills from his father, she had wagered as she’d swerved and slid through the sky, pushing upward through clouds into upper atmosphere. Once in space, she would take the Commander of the First Order for a little trip and distance him from the attack below.

                Take out the knight and let the queen clear the Dejarik board.

                The only problem was that he had caught up to her without a problem, forcing her to make the jump to hyperspace or take direct hits due to proximity alone. Fleeing through space, she had managed to outrun him for only moments before he had also made the jump and she had spent the majority of time now just trying to stay ahead of him. His ship was a thing of beauty, she’d admitted in between staying off his radar and targeting systems, only to feel her blood pressure rise once he would lock onto her again.

                Even then, he still hadn’t actually fired directly on her though.

                By the time she had realized it, he had shot off one single laser attack that had struck the rear of her X-wing and effectively knocked her out of hyperspace. The attack had jarred her, her communications scrambling as her console had flashed warning signs. Flying wounded through space, she had been rewarded with the news that the X-wing’s systems did not recognize the area she had just come into which could only have meant one thing: she’d flown right out of the Outer Rim into the Unknown Regions. There would be no hyperlanes here, nothing to use to mark any kind of trajectory, and nothing to stop other ships traveling outside of the lanes from crashing into her or to stop her from crashing into floating rocks of asteroid.

                Coming out of hyperspace behind her, the Silencer had loosed yet one more laser burst that she hadn’t been able to avoid as she had hurtled wildly, and the blast sent her Starfighter pitching further. Twirling as she fell through space, she had set blind coordinates for the blue and green planet that had appeared below, had tightened her restraints rapidly, Luke’s lightsaber secured at her hip, and had prepared for the crash.

 

                The impact knocked her out for a brief span of time. She didn’t know for exactly how long but when she came to, all she felt was pain; pain along the side of her head, pain streaking through her shoulder, and agony down her right leg. She stirred weakly, her hands trembling across the console where her body had been tossed. Ah, the pain in her head came from that impact; her helmet was cracked and a part of the yellow targeting glass was splintered and broken. Her console was also damaged, the X-wing’s systems silent in the cockpit, the controls flickering with power. She was hurt, possibly quite badly, and her breath hitched in mid-inhale as she shifted her arms along the console. Her restraints had snapped and as she blinked hazily at her dashboard, she dimly noticed the awkward angle in which her arm had somehow twisted. Shifting it carefully, she cried out as white-hot pain flared up into her shoulder once more, and she dropped her head to breathe through clenched teeth.

                Where was she? Where had she crashed? How was she even still alive-?

                The sound of shrieking metal came from overhead, deafening her as it drew out. Wincing, she looked up to search the hull of her ship as a dark fluid fell into her right eye and blinded her. Blinking, she instinctively swatted at her face beneath the targeting plate, shoving her gloved palm along her eye and brow, and dragging it away to see it stained slick with blood. Beginning to shake again, she lifted her partial vision toward the transparisteel of her cockpit, her mind scrambling to understand what that screeching sound was.

                The head of her cockpit was ripped off and flung aside as if it weighed no more than a sheet of flimsy plastic, causing her to jump as sunlight streamed down on her, now fully unobstructed.

                And then the dark silhouette appeared overhead, blocking those soothing rays and washing her in shadow.

                “Scavenger,” murmured the Commander of the First Order quietly as he peered down at her from behind his black and silver helmet, his ragged hood drawn up over his head.

                Instantly scrambling, Rey threw her hands across her console for support, moving to rise, to run.

                Pain shot through her ankle and calf, right into her leg and streaking up her entire body. With a cry, she fell back into her seat, her body quivering at the heat and agony as she sought to tamp it down.

                Kylo Ren exhaled mechanically overhead as he tilted his head down at her and then lowered it further. “Caught in your own trap?” he inquired, bringing her to glare up at him hazily before following his slow nod to her leg.

                The metal of her cockpit had been dented in, trapping her ankle and foot against the side of the hull.

                Staring at it dimly, Rey felt herself loosen somehow, a strange feeling of calm coming over her. Well, this was it then, she supposed. Not exactly the way she had expected to die but if it was to happen here, then she would go with the knowledge that she had attempted to give the Resistance a fighting chance. At least with the knight here with her, he wasn’t back there with her new friends and family, wreaking havoc and adding to his body count.

                She dropped her eyes to the console, barely registering the flickering readings on her cracked helmet, on the screens below. “Bound to happen, I guess,” she murmured distractedly as she caught a flash of an image onscreen, her targeting systems hardly operational.

                According to her readings, his TIE Silencer was coming up as resting on the ground before her X-wing, she noted vaguely. It hadn’t crash landed; it was still in an entirely functioning state, corresponding with the flashing information on her screen and matching the thought that the knight seemed perfectly well and whole to her eyes as he stood over her.

                She felt a ripple of anger through her tension; that he could be seamlessly fine and menacing when she was falling apart beneath him, her shoulder and ankle burning mercilessly. “You blew me out of hyperspace, out of the air,” she said softly, focusing.

                He took a moment to respond. “I did,” he agreed quietly.

                She swallowed, her palm lifting to her head once more as pain flickered, throbbing. “You knocked out my communications, my ship’s transmitter.”

                He didn’t respond this time but she took his silence as confirmation.

                Breathing shakily, she gauged her console as it flashed, as she tried to see how often the controls became active with the damage the ship had taken. “We’re in uncharted territory, you and I,” she whispered and she bowed her helmeted head into her hand again gingerly, wishing the throbbing to slow or recede.

                At her words, the knight lifted his head to look around from overhead, hood turning with the crane of his neck.

                She had been counting on that. He had been much too intent on taking her down that he hadn’t even noticed his surroundings, how far or how long she had flown with him in pursuit.

                Immediately using his distraction, Rey shifted her hands across the console, the sightline targeting systems flaring. Adrenaline shooting through her entire body, she locked onto the TIE Silencer within a second and had fired off two proton torpedoes even as the knight whirled back around to look down at her.

                The torpedoes impacted just as her targeting systems failed, as her console went dim and silent at last. Explosions sounded, the metal of the knight’s mask reflecting the fiery red damage of his ship to her immense gratification as she stared up at him overhead. She had aimed for his ion engine, for anything she could hit to impair his ship but, even working perfectly, the targeting systems on the X-wings had a minuscule percentage of failure.

                However, the hard growl from the knight convinced her she had not entirely missed her target.

                As the rumble of the explosions died away into the crackling of flames and the silence of the world around them, Rey could only look up at the knight wearily. “And it looks like you’re stuck with me now,” she stated before pitching back toward her console in exhaustion.

                Standing rigidly, head still turned to the damaged Silencer in his view, the knight merely seemed to stare for a long moment, his wide shoulders rising and falling harshly. Then he lowered his helmet back toward her, the hood throwing his face into shadow. “Indeed,” he replied curtly in his deep tone and he stooped into the cockpit toward her.

                Rey reflexively threw her arms up to cover herself from his attack but she couldn’t stop his hand from knocking her broken helmet clear off her head and sending it flying toward the back of her cockpit to collide harshly against hard metal.

                A second later, he had her by the collar of her X-wing flight suit, black gloved fingers clawing into the thick orange material.

                Grimacing, Rey’s uninjured arm darted up, her hand curling around his wrist as he yanked at her roughly. As if inhuman, he moved to haul her off her seat and into the air.

                A scream tore from her, agony streaking through her leg and into her hip as she was wrenched into the air and halted abruptly by her trapped ankle. Biting down against the pain, she ducked her chin into his hand, stiffening as the waves of heat coursed through her, burning.

                Almost impatiently, the knight pulled again, causing her to whimper breathlessly when her ankle remained caught. He tilted his head to look down then, wavering as she swayed in his grip, her good hand lashing out to strike at him desperately. “Ah, yes. That,” he remarked, and his tone became irritable under his hood and helmet as she flailed in his hold, as she swung a weak fist at his face and connected with the edge of hard metal blindly. Sighing crossly, he reached his other hand toward the floor of the cockpit, fingers clawed tightly, and fell into a concentrated silence.

                Clenching her fist again, Rey struck at the arm clutching her by the collar furiously, bringing her forearm down on his wrist and elbow repeatedly to try and break his hold on her.

                He ignored her though her gestures caused him to shift from the sheer force of her attack.

                Metal shrieked again from below, the hard sound running beneath the rush of her blood in her ears, and for a moment she couldn’t recognize the noise, couldn’t understand what was happening.

                Then her ankle suddenly came loose, her leg falling limp with the other and she hung suspended from his mere grip over her X-wing cockpit. He was strong, she realized dimly, uncannily so, his fingers wrapped tightly around the ball of orange flight suit he had curled up in his fist.

                Lowering his free arm back to his side, the knight dragged her in close to his face, helmet almost bumping her in the nose. “We should better acquaint ourselves, scavenger,” he suggested softly, his deep tone coming out in a hum. “Now that you’ve trapped us here together.”

                Rey lifted a glare to him under her furrowed brow, her hand coming to rest on his own, weary from her ineffective attacks. “I would rather not,” she hissed at him, venom coating her words. “If I’m lucky, I’m dying from my injuries and won’t have to-”

                He rebuffed her words with a huff, turning to face the territory surrounding them from where he stood atop the curve of her crippled X-wing cockpit.

                Green. As she raised her head to survey the area with him, all she saw was green all around her; like Takodana, like those heavily forested planets that she had never known before leaving the desert planet Jakku. Her eyes also shifted around, taking in the hard dirt beneath her wrecked and tilted ship, the thick forests bordering the torn up path she had created with her incoming and sliding crash.

                The Silencer stood to her left as she was held suspended over her cockpit, flames licking blandly along the bottom of the craft but otherwise seemingly undamaged. She frowned at that, her heart rate picking up slowly. If his ship was unharmed, there was still the chance that he could make it off the planet and jump back into hyperspace to return to the battle she had dragged him from. Her breathing grew rapid, her hazel eyes widening slightly as he continued to search the area around them.

                But if it was still in operating condition, he would not have made mention of the fact that she had trapped them on this unknown planet together.

                Dragging her eyes toward the knight again, Rey stared at the back of his hooded head for a long moment, her fingers squeezing his wrist momentarily before she turned her attention to the right.

                Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the edge of the dirt path, as she realized that a cliff loomed barely twenty feet ahead and that her X-wing had come to rest just before the drop. Past the cliff edge, she saw nothing but blue skies, clouds, and the peek of more woods down below, stretching far into the distance. She swallowed, her eyes dropping to the X-wing beneath her, to the tail end of the craft. She must have touched down and slid, crashing and spinning before coming to a stop just before the cliff edge. That had to be why her Starfighter now faced the Silencer, why she had been able to target the TIE so quickly. A few more feet and she would have plummeted off the edge of that cliff backward in her unconscious state.

                _Thank the Maker-_

                The Commander spun back around just as she turned her head to meet his masked face.

                With another low growl, he lifted his helmet to her face and then dropped it low, giving her the once-over before returning to meet her glare. And then it bowed once more, seeming to hone in on the life support console strapped over her flak vest.

                His glove streaked out to take hold of it in a harsh grip, snapping it up in his hand and yanking it off her form. Had she not mangled it in her descent and crash, it would have been a task to take from her but the bands had ripped, threading, and he managed to tear it from her chest, clutching it between clawed fingers.    

                “Don’t-” she gasped, reaching for it quickly.

                He inclined his masked face to it, studying it. “You do not require this,” he stated and he opened his hand as he spoke.

               The small metal box floated from his palm as if carried on a gentle breeze and they both merely watched it momentarily as it hung in mid-air, hovering serenely.

                Wanting to stop him from doing anything more to the box in that moment, she swiped her hand at her hip, reaching for her weapon, _Luke’s_ weapon. She had one functioning arm and hand at the moment and she would be damned before she continued to let this monster harm-

                Her hand slipped across an empty sheath at her side.

                Patting herself down quickly, she managed to crane her head slightly behind his grip on her collar to see with her own two eyes.

                The holster that had housed Luke’s lightsaber was empty.

                Beginning to breathe harshly then, she felt an alarmed tremble take over her limbs as panic rose and she looked back at the knight, running blind eyes over his metallic face. The weapon must have come loose in the crash, knocked out of its sheath and tossed around her cockpit. Grimacing, she shifted to turn her head around his grip to the Resistance vessel below her hanging form. It was in there somewhere, she just had to-

                The knight’s gloved hand curled into a tight fist, dragging her attention back to him and to the floating console box in his Force grip. Then the slender box made a small shriek of a sound before the corners bent in, impacting and crunching with a whine as an outside power began to compress it into a tight ball.

                Rey stared, wide-eyed, her brow lifting as she realized that the compacting box had held an emergency transmitter and that with the X-wing now damaged beyond repair, there was no way for her to send out a signal as to her whereabouts. If she could survive this encounter with the knight, even best him, she could focus on trying to recover power to the ship, to see if she could find a way to salvage a piece of it.

                Squeezing and pressing in with a resistant grind, the former life support console hovered in the air between her and the knight for another moment before the black-clothed figure simply turned and motioned toward the cliff.

                The console went flying, pitching toward the edge and sailing over it, vanishing.

                Rey made a wild gesture after the compacted box as if she could have somehow saved it, her lips parting, her hand skimming across his to reach as her other hung limply at her side, throbbing still.

                But the knight was moving, pulling her in close to his side as he turned to look to the ground beneath the wreck of her X-wing. Taking a step, he dragged her with him, her form pulled in tightly to his chest and shoulder.

                She couldn’t comprehend his strength, couldn’t understand how he could carry her so easily and shift her about with him as if she weighed nothing. She was not a small woman, she reflected in a moment of complete absurdity before she realized he was still moving. One moment he was holding her suspended over her cockpit and the next he was returning to the ground, half carrying her and, as her legs began to drag through the dirt, half hauling her behind his tall form as he lowered her to his side almost absentmindedly.

                “You will not require that ship, either,” he murmured as he stalked toward his Silencer and he made a curt motion toward his ship, fingers splaying before curling into a fist once more as he dragged her along the ground.

                The Silencer had still been functional, it seemed. As he motioned, the laser cannons abruptly fired, shooting green beams at the X-wing.

                _“No!”_

                The scream ripped from Rey as she flailed across the ground, and she turned her head in time to see the lasers strike her ship, brilliant explosions sounding as her engines were decimated. The X-wing was propelled backward, the remaining wings snapping and hanging precariously, metal flying, and then the body of the ship went gliding across the hard-packed dirt toward the edge of the cliff.

                Pausing, the knight merely watched as the Starfighter came to a sliding stop just before the cliff edge and teetered precariously. “Hmm,” he stated and the sound was soft, unenthused. As Rey shifted along the ground at his side, he merely waved his hand as if brushing something away.

                The X-wing wavered at the edge for a moment that stretched into infinity before it slipped over and plummeted, vanishing.

                This time, the shriek felt as if it tore up her throat on the way out. And then it came again, riddled with panic and fear as she realized that the ship had taken Luke’s lightsaber with it, that she had nothing now. Her life support and emergency transmitter had been destroyed. If she had been able to get the communications systems working on the X-wing, she could have been able to send a signal out, a cry for help. Even any emergency rations were gone with the ship. She stared at the cliff edge where the ship had sat only moments ago and she felt a coldness settle deep inside of her, terror and realization.

                This would be another version of Jakku but one that she didn’t know and one that she wasn’t sure she could survive in.

                With the comprehension came an abrupt and furious wave of rage. Growling angrily, she spun around onto her front, lashing out with her good arm at the knight’s leg beside her head. As she rolled and swung, she felt the power rise up within, the coolness and the softness of it, of the Force.

                The knight was taken down almost easily, his large form crashing backward to the ground as her arm connected with the back of his knee, that alien strength behind it, fueling it. Feeling her anger rage deep inside, pounding through her veins the way the Force now did, she found footing across the dirt, wincing when her injured ankle caught, when her weak arm and shoulder failed under her. Immediately shifting hands, she pushed to her knees and threw herself toward Kylo Ren, lashing out mindlessly as he lay stunned where she had dropped him.

                They scuffled for mere moments before he gained the upper hand, his palm coming up before her face, fingers clenching into claws.

                Rey felt something nab her by the collar once more, a phantom grip, and she was yanked in by an invisible hand before she was flung off the knight roughly, his arm striking outward with the ghostly shove. Airborne for a breath, she crashed to the ground with a cry and went sliding across dirt and pebbles, her entire body throbbing as she came to a heavy stop.

                Pushing to his feet, the knight followed closely behind, his dark uniform now streaked with dust and earth, his hood hanging down along his shoulders. He came at her with hands clenched into fists, an enormous black shadow, sunlight gleaming along his helmet and reflecting off the chrome lines.

                Seeing him approach, Rey quickly tried to right herself, dragging her palm under her and immediately faltering as pain flashed through it, leaving her hand trembling as she dragged it to her chest. Scrambling on her unharmed leg, she shoved herself onto her back and flung her other arm up frantically.

                Kylo Ren staggered as if struck in the shoulder and he slid back a step before straightening and advancing again.

                “Get _back!_ ” she shouted at him, gesturing once more and finally pushing to her feet, limping.

                This time, he merely waved a hand shortly as he came at her, seeming to knock aside whatever Force attack she’d attempted. Then he threw the other one out, leather-clad palm up, and his fingertips curled in.

                Her wounded arm was pulled from her chest and yanked. She screamed, hauled forward onto her battered ankle, bringing it to streak in pain and immediately fail under her weight. She toppled to her knees once more, her hand catching her from falling face first, and a moment later he was before her, blocking the brilliant sun overhead and casting her into shadow. 

                Even so, she pushed herself back to her feet in a lunge at him.

                “Enough,” he stated coldly and he caught her in mid-attack, halting her with a gloved palm and the Force.

                She had only a moment to look from him down to her frozen body before he lifted the other hand and waved his fingers almost elegantly. Feeling suddenly weightless and tired, she was halfway unconscious as he released his grip on her form.

                When she hit the ground roughly, she was practically gone. Collapsed on her side, she watched dimly as he sighed wearily beneath his helmet and turned to stalk off back in the direction of his Silencer.

                Then darkness claimed her.

 

** Next Chapter - Chapter Two: **

She broke the surface, taking in a gasping deep breath and realizing almost immediately that the world had grown colder in the night, the air whistling throughout the trees bordering the pond and waterfall. Blinking rapidly to clear the water away from her eyes, she felt her arms release the items as her lungs froze over inside and out from the cold pool and the air, her chest constricting.

A hooded shadow waited at the edge of the pond, not too far from the waterfall, standing with clenched fists in the night.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know you guys are awesome, right?? I didn't think I would see so many familiar faces and now that I have, I am super excited to post this fic! Thank you guys so much for reading!!!

**Chapter Two:**

 

               The sound of water broke through the heavy darkness surrounding her; rushing, pounding as if falling and crashing into a pool. A waterfall. The distant whisper of trees in the wind, the murmuring breeze. The trickle and bubble of a running stream, not as close but not far off either.

                Stirring, Rey’s brow drew into a small frown, a grimace crossing her face. She could detect the scent of wet rock, the traces of soil, damp vegetation. Her eyes fluttering open, it took her a second to focus and when she did, she saw a darkening gray sky overhead on her left side, trails of pink and purple hidden behind converging clouds as if from a sun that had long since set but still reached across the heavens as it dipped low, falling away.

                Blinking, she shifted along a hard rock surface, her hand sliding across the edges of large, flat stones. As she moved, she hesitated. She had felt the ghostly tendrils of pain for a moment as she had gingerly stretched and now, rolling carefully from her side onto her back, she realized that the throbbing and the shooting flashes had dimmed, falling away. She wiggled her foot cautiously and paused, her eyes darting around blindly as she tried to gauge what she felt. Not pain. A slight soreness still, yes. But if she’d had a broken bone or a twisted limb, the pain had inexplicably receded, flitted away.

                And with that thought, she suddenly sprang up on her rear, now taking in the scene around her in a panic. How long had she been unconscious for? What day was it? Her eyes shot to the graying sky again and she noted that it seemed to be late evening, the sun having fallen away behind oncoming rain clouds and casting the world around her in a bluish-gray twilight. She breathed harshly, looking around and attempting to understand her surroundings, to make sense of everything. She was flanked by a dark forest in the coming night, bordering closely on her right side and trailing far ahead along the banks of a wild and heavy stream, the sound of the swaying trees in the wind lost under the persistent fall and pound of water. But not the rush of the stream, she realized, and she frowned. Where was that sound coming from? Where was she? And better yet-

                Where was _he?_

                The thought ripped through her and she instantly spun along the hard rock to search her opposite side. That bastard of a knight had stranded her on a planet in the Unknown Regions, destroying her vessel and crippling her in the middle of a fight. The _coward_. The absolute no-good excuse for a-

                Her eyes came to a stop on an enormous foaming pool on her left, just at the edge of the stone surface she sat on, recognizing the sound of water pounding into the body of cold clear fluid that she had heard earlier in the darkness of unconsciousness. Blinking, she lifted her eyes to follow a heavy cascade of water flowing down a steep cliff to where it poured out of the mouth of a large grotto quite a ways overhead. Barely a quarter of the distance up the steep bluff, she caught the dark edges of what seemed to be another cavern etched into the looming rock wall directly behind the curtain of tumbling water but quickly turned her attention back to the sprawling height of the crag. The mountainous cliff extended still further north from where the waterfall originated and she craned her head toward the edge high above, blinking in confusion. It seemed such a distance away; to climb the face of it to the top would be unimaginable, unfeasible.

                How had she gotten here?

              Drawing her eyes back down to the pool of water at her side, she suddenly realized how thirsty she was. “Oh, please let this be fit to drink,” she whispered and she scrambled across the hard stone beneath her toward the edges before she realized what was staring back at her from the calm body of dark water before her.

                A large metal piece protruded through the surface of the pond, a very familiar metal arm.

                Her X-wing.

                With a gasp, her heart jumping into her mouth, she lunged to her feet and then slowed once more, looking down at her ankle, at her arm as it moved with her, as it obeyed her command with a slight twinge. How long had she been-

                _Forget it. Forget it for now!_

                Shaking her head, she came to the rock edge and lowered herself into the pool without a second thought.

                She sank right down to her knees in the water, misjudging the depth. Iciness immediately shot right through her as she plunged, causing her jaw to drop open as her breath tangled in her lungs. Heaving, she instinctively froze in her tracks and heaved, her lips forming a stiff o. Clenching down, she forced herself to push through it and struggled to get accustomed to the temperature, trying to gauge if it was too cold for her to attempt a search of the ship submerged in the pool of dark water.

                A moment later she didn’t give a damn. If she adapted to the temperature, she didn’t know, for a second later she began to wade further into the pond, feeling the water climb up her thighs toward her hips. From what she could see, the water wasn’t terribly deep as it only seemed to cover the body of the ship, its belly resting on the pond floor. Shifting closer to the ship, she exhaled shakily as she once again realized how cold the water was, how much icier it became the further in she went.

                _Just get the rations. Get the flares. The first aid kit and emergency items. The extra flight suit. The lightsaber! Get everything you can salvage and then worry about the cold._

                Nearing as much as she could, she mentally encouraged herself, counting to three before she dipped underwater completely.

                Her entire body became rigid and froze in the iciness almost immediately. The flak vest over her orange uniform seemed to combat some of the cold but she felt the water seep into the flight suit as the material had torn when she had crashed, when the knight had ripped the life support console from it. Fighting to continue to move underwater, she darted through the pool toward the X-wing, floating near and then shooting upward to circle toward the cockpit. The emergency items would be in compartments throughout the hull and she swam in through the broken hood with stiffening limbs, her muscles beginning to scream at the effort. Shaking her head inwardly, she dove toward the sides of the cockpit, dragging her fingers along the interior and searching for the latch releases, yanking them open with cramping fingers.

                First, the consumables, then the extra flight suit that she would need to change into once she came out of the water now that she had wet this current suit and her gray uniform beneath. She would be forced to strip out of the uniform and into a dry, new one to stop the advance of hypothermia now that she had submerged herself.

                Cradling the cases in her arms, she spun slowly in the water and moved toward the opposite wall, her breath starting to ache in her lungs. The reserve aid kit sat behind a metal slab and as she pulled it open, emergency unused flares came out with it, floating. She gathered the items up as fast as she could manage through the thickness of the water around her, her muscles burning with the effort, her lungs requiring air. Hunching her body around the objects, she slowly allowed her form to float down toward the damaged metal floor of the X-wing.

                The lightsaber was nowhere in sight.

                She searched the cockpit frantically, aware of her dwindling breath, of how her heart was beginning to pound and her lungs throb as she looked around, eyes darting to every nook and cranny of the hull. No lightsaber anywhere. Shaking her head at herself, she looked again through the darkness of the water, now beginning to wince. The cold was not helping her ability to hold air and she found herself distracted even as she turned her head to scan the metal floor of her downed ship.

                If the lightsaber wasn’t in the cockpit, there was the chance it had floated free of the ship, was lost somewhere in this pond, under the crashing waterfall. She would need to surface, deposit her emergency items aside on the stone ground and then come back in. She just didn’t think she would be able to take a second submersion as she had the first now that she was feeling the iciness to her very core.

                Shaking her head once more, now angry with herself, she felt her feet touch down upon the floor of her cockpit. Gathering herself in tight, she curled in before pushing off the metal as hard as she could, shooting upward through the water.

                She broke the surface, taking in a gasping deep breath and realizing almost immediately that the world had grown colder in the night, the air whistling throughout the trees bordering the pond and waterfall. Blinking rapidly to clear the water away from her eyes, she felt her arms release the items as her lungs froze over inside and out from the cold pool and the air, her chest constricting.

                A hooded shadow waited at the edge of the pond, not too far from the waterfall, standing with clenched fists in the night.

                A surprised yelp left her frozen form and she immediately began to push away from the edge the knight stood upon even as her items floated toward him leisurely.

                He didn’t speak a word, merely watching as she swam over to the opposite edge of the pond. And even as her feet hit solid ground, pushing her body to lift and stand in the water, she felt the unbearable cold as it suddenly seemed to seep deep within and then settle over her entire form. She winced, stumbling across loose soil and stones beneath before finally pulling a booted foot out of the pond to hit dry stone.

                She needed that emergency flight suit, she thought frantically as she hauled herself out of the water and came to stand dripping wet on the other side of the pool. Unless she could start a fire and huddle in its warmth, either completely naked or wrapped up in the additional flight suit, she would die from this cold. Merely thinking it, she felt the chill slip deep in her bones, into her very marrow. She grimaced, her body beginning to shiver now to build and conserve heat.

                Oh, how she suddenly found herself missing Jakku.

                Kylo Ren made a small motion with a gloved hand toward the water. As Rey watched, the cases and loose items hovered off the surface slowly and began to float across the pond toward him.

                “I need those!” She snapped at him in sudden, trembling anger, her voice carrying loudly in the stillness, echoing. Her body felt stiff in the night as it shook, threatening to break apart like cardboard with any gesture more violent than breathing. Even as she shivered, she saw the puffs of her breath in the cold air, in the darkening world surrounding them.

                “As do I,” he returned, his tone low and deep, instantly at odds with hers in its softness.

                Standing on opposite shores of the waterfall, she saw the two of them for who they were then, the conflicting portrait they painted; bright suit, black uniform. Loud and quiet. Female and male.

                Light and Dark.

                She felt resentment well up inside of her again, felt the beginnings of despair though the emotion served to warm her somewhat. “If you’re going to kill me, d-do it already!” She cried out across the pond, across the clearing, hearing her words reverberate throughout the silent forest surrounding them beyond the waterfall and pond between them. She bowed her head as she realized her trembling had come through in her words and she clenched her quaking hands into fists, waiting. The world surrounding her was somehow so cold, icier than she could ever remember feeling in her entire life.

                The black knight across the way held a palm out over the pond, bending fingers in casually.

                The emergency cases and items floated up from the water, dripping as they came to hover before him and then settled at his feet with a slow turn of his wrist. “Killing you would be meaningless to me,” he murmured, his helmet turning down toward the wet items he had deposited on the hard flat rock. “You pose no threat to me, scavenger. This planet will take care of you soon enough with no help on my part.”

                Her fists trembling with equal parts fury and ice, Rey took a deep painful breath before moving to begin circling the lake. She would kill him with her bare hands if she had to-

                Her legs suddenly faltered under her, losing strength from one step to the next and toppling her to the ground roughly.

                _No. Oh, no-_

                She had miscalculated, she realized as she fell, her arms flailing weakly. She hardly felt the hard impact on her knees, barely had feeling in her fingers or her nose now, her extremities. Grimacing, she blinked as she struggled to remain upright before she settled on her insteps wearily, her head falling back to take a harsh, rattling breath. She felt how little air actually seemed to make it into her lungs through her chattering teeth.

                The dark shadow paused, helmet tilting, before he turned and began to slowly circle the opposite edge of the pond toward her. He came to a wide strip of a stream that Rey had noticed earlier, a watercourse that she now realized drained the liquid from the pond down into a heavier flow through the trees beyond to vanish around a bend. The knight traipsed across the gentle torrent and the dark water rose as high as his thighs as he waded in, falling away as he crossed the span of the stream and reached her side of dry land.

                “S-stay there!” she ordered him with a shaking finger, her chest feeling as if it could compress and crack from the mere strain of breathing, much less shouting. Grimacing, shaking helplessly, she felt panic swell up within as he ignored her command, as he continued to round the edge of the pond toward her, slowly and purposefully. She could barely force any kind of strength into her words; she would not be able to hold him off now physically. “I said-”

                “I heard what you said,” he replied quietly, nearing soundlessly as she heaved, as she took a shallow, flustered breath. “But…I don’t think you can stop me.”

                Her thin breaths coming quickly, frantically now, she closed her eyes and tried to center herself. She could barely _think_ much less focus, and she found herself almost gasping as she realized she had put herself in this situation. He obviously hadn’t killed her before when he’d had her unconscious and unable to resist. In fact, he had brought her to this pond, undoubtedly to see her X-wing perish an even more painful death than the one she thought he had inflicted on the vessel earlier. Perhaps he liked having her at his mercy, enjoyed being able to play and toy with her like a feline with its small prey.

                She opened her eyes resignedly and felt herself start at suddenly finding him towering directly over her. With the coming night, he somehow seemed larger than his usual massive height and breadth, more looming shadow than person. “Just do it,” she whispered to him raspingly as she lifted her glare to his hooded figure, her teeth chattering and her entire body numb. “Just do it already-”

                “Be quiet,” he ordered her shortly. “You serve no purpose to me, alive or dead.”

                She recoiled at his brusqueness and then lowered her eyes away from him, her chest and shoulders rising and falling rapidly with her shallow breaths. She didn’t know why she had expected anything else then. It was obviously a product of the ice in her body, the coming weakness. She was halfway to delusional to expect anything beyond certain death at his hands and to feel anything besides misery. And how strange that in the midst of it all, the cold air and the stiffening in her limbs, that she was beginning to feel a strange warmth within, a deep pull to weary sleep. She frowned faintly as she realized it, confused for she still trembled uncontrollably.

                The knight hesitated, cocking his masked face at her mutely.

                Blinking rapidly, she continued to frown as the warmth pulled at her, as she fell into silence. There was something wrong in the feeling, in this strange rise of comfort within. She quaked violently, her entire body now shaking. Even her breaths came, puffs in the cold night air, but she was wonderfully calm then, her vision losing focus.

                “Scavenger.”

                She heard him from so far away and she was glad for it. If she could delude herself for the moment into thinking that he was not standing before her and in such close proximity, she would not feel it when he struck her down at last. She closed her eyes again, her lips parting, and she nodded wearily as he addressed her once more, his voice deep, remote.

                And as she reached for that oncoming warmth with her entire being, she heard the knight curse dimly in the distance, heard him shift. Then she toppled sideways, unconscious even before she hit the ground.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Three: **

And she tilted her head along a hard shoulder and felt herself begin to drift back into a deep slumber, falling away into darkness as those fingers slid along the back of her arm and floated up once more, fingertips lingering just as he did in her dreams.

 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Super short chapter but I thought it was necessary *evil smirk* so I apologize for the size of it but I do hope you all like it!!
> 
> Still working on the soundtrack (which honestly should've been done by now but this last week was hectic before the holiday and is now hectic AFTER the holiday, God help me) but I'm putting work into it because I NEED to so I'll have that up hopefully soon.
> 
> Enjoy and thank you guys SO MUCH for the kudos and comments!!!

**Chapter Three:**

 

                She woke four times in the next six hours.

                The first time, she awakened hazily to an unbearable cold, her entire body shaking violently. Icy air hung all around but her head was pressed to a rough textured surface, a hard arm curled around her waist and back, her figure feeling weightless and somehow heavy at the same time. There was a consistent crashing sound in the distance, muffled dimly, and the world was dark, tinged gray with smoky moonlight. She made a small sound, groaning against the scratchy surface beneath her cheek.

                “Stay awake. _Rey_. Stay awake,” came a metallically modified voice from far off, from so near, reverberating under her ear and thrumming through her body.

                _I don’t want to_ , she wished to say, her head cloudy. _I want to go back to sleep._

                “ _No,_ ” the person replied in a warning tone, bringing her to wonder how he was able to read her mind, if she had mistakenly spoken aloud. “I want you to stay awake.” And then the voice came to a stop as did the air around her, her legs swaying limply as she was swung around. There was a second arm wrapped under the back of her knees, harsh fingertips digging into the side of her thigh, and she found herself bemused by that, blinking wearily.

                _What’s happening? Where am I?_

                She was lowered to a hard ground with something abrasive separating her from the surface itself, her head falling back into a palm before being placed down along with the rest of her shaking body.

                _What are you doing?_

                “Stop _talking_. You’re…distracting,” the jarring voice snapped before she felt the person reel himself in and huff. There was a pause, a shuffle, and then the hiss of air releasing as if from a small vent.

                _I want to sleep._

                A growl came and this time it was a low, masculine voice that responded to her, still hovering outside of her immediate world. “I said to stay awake.”

                She blinked fuzzily, seeing the darkness around her, dragging her cheek across stone and tiny pebbles as she pulled her head toward her chest, trying to turn her body onto her side to curl in. She was so cold and her limbs felt heavy; it was a chore to move them a mere inch, to wiggle any of her digits. They felt as if they weren’t even there, numb.

                Hard hands took hold of her, pulling her down onto her back easily and causing the world to spin around her. She let out a soft breath, grimacing. The grip was too rough against her skin, scraping. She was almost certain the man handling her had cut her skin open in moving her so viciously but if blood had risen, she didn’t feel its warmth.

                “I’m so cold,” she whispered into the dusty darkness all around, feeling what little heat she had escape her in those words and breath.

                The person exhaled irritably before falling into a rigid silence though his hands shifted to her collar, her shoulders. “I know. I know,” he murmured and this time his voice was gentler, forgiving.

                She was moved around, yanked up and down, back and forth, as if she were a puppet on strings. But as she realized that she was being stripped of her clothes in the cold world surrounding her, she was slipping back into the warmth of the clinging darkness.

                “Rey-”

                She succumbed to the welcoming blackness of sleep without a response to his call.

 

                The second time she stirred, she was cradled in heat. Not the warmth of the earlier darkness but a soft, tangible luminosity. She whimpered and turned her head slightly, her temple slipping along something smooth. Her eyes came open slowly, struggling, and she felt her lashes flutter against a supple surface beneath her cheek.

                There was something soft there though she couldn’t focus. Skin? Whatever it was, it was bathed in a gentle glow, turned golden red. Faint shades jumped along the surface even as a warm light behind her kissed it with a flaming radiance.

                Flames. There was a fire behind her somewhere, coloring the skin before her beautifully where she didn’t cast a shadow over the hard planes and sleek surfaces.

                Something brushed her shoulder, lingering lightly. Fingers. She sighed softly into the warm form under her, surrounding her. Cradling her. Solid arms, an embrace. A hard body pressed to hers. She realized dimly that she was nude but she merely closed her eyes again and burrowed deeper into the blessed warmth, coveting it and basking in it, wishing it could warm her still icy legs and rear.

                The body surrounding her stirred, the fingers leaving her arm. She was pulled up slightly off hard ground as the form rose and shifted. She realized dimly that she had some sort of wrap draped over her bare hips and thighs. The rough cloth was adjusted, tossed to cover her legs and wind around her back and rear, tucking in beneath. Then the body settled back to the ground, dragging her close once more, the hand returning to her shoulders before trailing back toward her arm and beginning a gentle trace of her skin, fingertips floating delicately.

                _You’re so warm._

                The fingers slowed and stopped, fingertips hesitating. Then they parted, wrapping around her arm and beneath. It would have tickled if she wasn’t so sleepy and she made a soft sound, delving deeper into the person’s neck and breathing in contentedly. She could smell the faintest hint of woods, of metal and night. The scent caused her to exhale wistfully into the smooth surface beneath her chin and nose, her lips brushing skin.

                The form surrounding her quivered, inhaling sharply before releasing the breath in a sigh.

                _I want to sleep here forever._

                And she tilted her head along a hard shoulder and felt herself begin to drift back into a deep slumber, falling away into darkness as those fingers slid along the back of her arm and floated up once more, fingertips lingering just as he did in her dreams.

 

                The third time she came awake, her atmosphere was almost balmy. Every part of her was warm and relaxed, her body pressed into a hard form, her entire world hazy. The firm figure embracing her breathed evenly, seemingly dozing just as she had been a moment before.

                Stirring, Rey lifted her left hand from where she had curled it around his hip, dragging it up along a pleasant edge of waist before slipping in over a span of torso marked with what seemed to be scars. She frowned into the shoulder of the person she was nestled into, his neck, shifting in the warmth and along the hard surface beneath her hip, curving into the long arm wrapped around her waist and back. Trailing her fingertips over the skin hesitantly, she searched the raised marks in the flesh as if blind, reaching fuzzily.

                The hard form beneath her fingers slowly came to, his breath becoming shallow as she read his scars with closed eyes, as she breathed him in deeply. Still woods, cedar. And metal. Her lips parted, already tasting the steel on her tongue as she brushed her mouth across his skin sleepily, along a beating pulse yearningly.

                A slow, groaned curse left the figure surrounding her, his form becoming heavy over hers. The hand that had fallen on the curve of her shoulder now came awake as well, fingers clamping down on her arm momentarily before leaving it to lift and grasp at her jaw mindlessly. 

                She turned her face into his touch, her cheek rubbing along his neck as she stretched, as she curled her body into his. She couldn’t even fathom who this person was and she didn’t care; she needed his hands and his heat, his hard angles pressing into her curves as she reached, as she coiled her fingers into his smooth skin and dug in.

                The hard body bent into her, arms hardening around her frame and pulling her in tightly, craving. His fingers tangled in her hair, fingertips burrowing into the locks at the nape of her neck where they were still pulled up into her customary buns. She wanted her hair loose then, feeling it pull damply, much too tightly. Grimacing, she made a small sound into the warm curve and line of neck beneath her nose, her bottom lip dragging as she exhaled into hot skin.

                  Breathing faster now, the palm along her jaw lifted away and grasped at the bottom tie, yanking at it almost roughly. The band came loose and the hand moved to the next one and then the last until her hair fell free, the tension ebbing away. Then his fingers were in it again, shaking the locks out. For some reason, her hair was damp where it had been tied back but his hand in her tresses, trailing along her scalp where it had pulled, was a blessing and she buried her face into his neck again, fingers curling into his chest, nails scraping.

                The body surrounding hers loosed a soft sound, one that rumbled in her ear as she had it pressed to his shoulder. And as she dragged her mouth along the beat of his pulse, she heard it thump the slightest bit erratically, felt it pound faster.

                The hand left her hair instantly, fingers streaking to rest against her lips as she turned her face along his jaw, as she arched into him wanting more of his heat, more of his smooth skin and hard body.

                Tilting his head, he turned it toward hers slightly, his other hand digging into her waist and latching on with clamping fingers.

                She didn’t like his fingers on her mouth, separating them; this man she didn’t know and hadn’t even seen in her mindlessness. What she did know was that he seemed to have an abundance of heat, something he didn’t seem to mind sharing for he was curled around her almost possessively. Her lips parted as she clutched at him and she felt his pulse quicken even more, felt the way he seemed to breathe unevenly then. Turning her face from his fingers, she nudged them away, felt them slip to her jaw and cheek, a thumb pressing into the soft edge of her lips. And then she reached the slightest bit to where she expected to find his mouth and she brushed her lips against his.

                He froze against her even as his own lips remained soft and pliant over hers.

                She inhaled deeply against his skin, breathing his scent and holding it in for a long moment, relishing it. Dragging her lips along his almost teasingly, she felt herself crave him, this man with no face. Yet.

                His fingers slipped around her jaw once more, his thumb pressing to the edge of her lips, almost poking. Then, breathing her in as well, he dipped into her and his mouth settled over hers lightly, the softest press of his lips to hers.

                She would take it if it was all he would give her, no longer quivering from any sort of cold. Not in this heat, in this need.

                He drew away from her then, his hand shifting to slip back into her hair, fingers cradling her scalp as he nudged her back into the curve of his neck, as his arms coiled tightly around her. As he sighed into the embrace he wrapped her up in.

                She went happily, sleepily, wanting nothing more than his heat and his warm skin, the hard planes of his body, the sheer size of him as he wrapped around her again and cradled her under his heaviness. And in the warm darkness, she found herself falling asleep once more without looking at his face.

                It didn’t matter. No one could feel so good and be bad.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Four: **

The knight also looked out with her and he exhaled softly, almost wistfully. A strange sound to hear from him but one somehow oddly familiar in that moment shared between them; as if he also found this new uncharted world to be stunning.

 


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...don't hate me, y'all!! I feel like I'm playing into what some of you want and not doing in for some others! No hate! No hate!! *cries*
> 
> But please enjoy! :)

**Chapter Four:**

 

                She slowly came awake. Her skin was blessedly, comfortably cool and from somewhere close by, she thought she detected the smell of burning wood, the smoke after it had been extinguished. Frowning slightly, her eyes slipped open and she blinked up into a pale blue darkness. Her vision remained blurred, however, and she allowed her lids to fall closed as she breathed in deeply once more.

                Her body felt sore. Grimacing at the discomfort, she shifted across a hard surface and made a face as her cheek dragged along a rough material, a weave in clothing as scratchy as burlap.

                Rolling onto her side slightly, she turned her head away from the darker blue toward a lighter one, just barely, a glow as if from subtle moonlight. Behind her closed eyelids, she heard the hard pounding of what seemed to be water and she frowned once more, attempting to place the sound as she found it eerily familiar.

                A waterfall?

                The newest Resistance base stood hidden and nowhere near a waterfall. Had she left the water running in her refresher?

                Something shifted far off, dragging before settling, and she finally forced herself to open her eyes in an attempt to concentrate. Blinking irritably, she saw the dark silhouette of a tall and broad form far off, his figure blurry and surrounded by that moonlit glow, swimming in her eyesight.

                “H-hello?” she called to him and her voice came out hoarse, her chest straining to get the mere word out.

                In her hazy vision, she saw the silhouette’s head swivel, catching the briefest glimpse of a profile. Then the figure made a small huffing sound before facing forward once more, turning away from her.

                She didn’t much appreciate that reaction and she closed her eyes again, inhaling deeply in an attempt to wake up fully. Gathering herself, she opened her eyes, this time willing her vision to focus, to come awake.

                The silhouette turned into a man; tall, light-skinned, with a head of waves long and thick enough that she had the sudden, irresistible urge to dig her fingers into it and pull.

                That mass of hair tilted, giving her a glimpse of his profile again, dark against light, as he hesitated. He cocked his head as if he had heard a sound from her.

                As if he had heard her thoughts somehow.

                But as her vision focused, he was turning to face forward again wordlessly, looking out to a hard fall of water before him where he stood leaning against a cave rock wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He was nude from the waist up and as he shifted, she trailed her weak eyes over the hard lines of his shoulders and neck, down the deep line of his back as it tapered to a lean waist.

                To the shadowed mass of criss-crossing scars all over the skin of that back, scars that she wouldn’t have been able to see had his skin not been so pale.

                “Where…” She couldn’t even get out a sentence. She winced as her voice failed her, as she realized how dry her throat was.

                The man at the mouth of the cave stood looking out around the waterfall before him to pale brightness beyond, watching it almost distractedly. “Where are you?” he substituted for her and his voice was deep, quiet.

                Familiar.

                “Who am I?” he continued to throw out for her tonelessly, sounding bored. “Why aren’t you dead yet?” He shrugged faintly, the light from behind the waterfall throwing a silver glow and blue shadows along his tall frame, even reaching her where she lay deeper in the cave. “So many questions…and all the time in the world now.”

                His words caused her to stiffen and her vision suddenly came into crystal clear focus.

                The man’s shoulders lifted and fell as he chuckled quietly, as he rolled along the wall and put his back to it, as he turned a familiar profile toward her in the grayish blue light coming from behind the crashing waterfall. Moonlight, Rey realized then. The soft radiance of moonlight, just as she had previously suspected. And as he faced her, half of his face was still in shadow but she knew it only too well as that pale light revealed his identity to her.

                She reacted instinctively. Snapping to sit up, she blinked at him as he became Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren without the heavy black and chrome mask that he usually hid that face behind, that he used to tamp down that head of thick black waves. She stared at him so keenly, so intently, that she felt her vision harden and strain painfully. Her hands dragged across that rough surface underneath her and she risked a quick glance down upon realizing that the cloth separated her from the actual hard surface of the rock ground beneath.

                A black throw. With a hood.

                She stared at it blindly, recognizing it somehow but not grasping from where.

                “If you’re done with that, I would appreciate it if you could return it to me,” he tossed at her and he motioned to the shawl beneath her form with a jut of his chin.

                Understanding then as she returned her attention to it, Rey scampered off the cloth and dragged her legs in tightly to her chest. Her hair bands lay strewn across the dark material and she snatched them up quickly before taking up the hood and flinging it toward him without a second thought, wanting it away from her, wanting _him_ to stay far away from her.

                He made a small sound of disgruntlement at her gesture but he didn’t say a word as he came to where his tattered hood had fallen. Swiping it up into his hands, he shook it out before reaching to toss it toward the opposite wall from the one he had leaned against only moments before.

                It landed on the ground right beside his black metal and chrome helmet, falling airily as if fluttering in a breeze.

                The helm made it all real then. Staring at it with wide eyes, curled in on herself, Rey realized in what kind of predicament she was in. She raised her eyes to the rock wall beside the helmet, dragging them along its surface as it loomed and curved overhead before coming down on Kylo Ren’s side in an arch. The waterfall fell at the mouth of the cave loudly, comfortingly had she been in a different state of mind, but almost torrentially now.

                The scent of burned wood still hung in the air and as Rey looked around, she noticed a setting of large stones, broken wood pieces and ash several feet behind her. Blinking at it in confusion, she found herself slowing and then stopping unclearly.

                She was forgetting something. Something had happened in the night, in her dreams; something that she needed to remember even as it eluded her in the gray light. She turned her head down to look at the rock floor beside her blindly, searching her memory, reaching for the images that jumped away as shadows did in the light.

                “I’m forgetting something,” she whispered in what she assumed was an inaudible tone.

                Kylo Ren made another snorting sound as if he found her equal parts amusing and exasperating. “You’re forgetting a great many things,” he retorted as he returned to lean his tall, broad form on the side of the cave wall once more and looked back out toward the waterfall, to the glimpse of dark trees around the torrent, off in the distance.

                Rey’s eyes darted to his back for a moment at his words before falling back to search her immediate area. She was dressed in her torn X-wing flight suit still. She didn’t have any belongings on her, hadn’t come with any. Nothing except-

                She spun to look behind her back, to search the immediate vicinity again. And then, her hands clenching painfully into fists, as she could barely muster any kind of strength, she asked in a tremblingly angry tone, “Where are my emergency items? Where is my _lightsaber_?”

                The knight hesitated, cocking his head slightly to the side.

                Feeling herself quake from exertion, she repeated her question, her voice ringing with fury even as she spoke in a flat and tempered tone. “Where…is my lightsaber?”

                “Do you mean _my_ lightsaber?” he asked her quietly, casually. “My _family’s_ lightsaber? My _birthright_? Is _that_ the lightsaber you are referring to-?”

                Stamping a palm down on the rock floor impatiently, Rey struggled to compose herself, to shut him up at the same time. His voice, while low and deep, was beginning to grate with its indifference, its complete and utter disregard for their current situation. “It’s mine. It belongs to me,” she said coldly. “You gave up your claim to it when you became a minion for the First Order and betrayed that family that you speak of-”

                Kylo Ren whirled off the wall to face her, his arms falling to his sides, hands clenching into fists. Rey was startled into silence as he glowered at her, muscle bunching in his bare arms. “You know nothing about that,” he hissed at her, his massive form blocking out a good portion of the gray light and all of the earlier glimpses she had been afforded of the forests beyond the waterfall. “You know nothing of my allegiances, of my family. Of our _legacy_.”

                Tamping down on the anger that threatened to spill out of her unrestrained, Rey glared at him. “I know enough, believe me,” she spat back and she slowly managed to rise to her feet, feeling hampered, weak. Standing, she staggered momentarily, making a small sound in the effort, one that had the knight pausing to watch her intently.

                Now was not the time to show weakness, she realized, and she quickly attempted to straighten herself, lifting her chin.

                He didn’t say anything more though, merely scrutinizing her with dark eyes, the blue light from the moonlit night filtering through the waterfall at his back.

                Drawing her glare away, she instead lowered her attention to swipe at her rear as if to clear dirt from herself. And she only then realized that she wore nothing beneath the flight suit as the material brushed along bare skin within, peeks of flesh visible through tears along the front. She frowned faintly, slowing, and she gingerly lifted her hands to the collar of the uniform, pulling it away from her body to confirm. “W-where are my clothes..?” she questioned softly. A second later, as the implication slipped in, her head shot back up and she threw him a venomous glare. “ _Where are my clothes?_ ” she shouted at him across the wide cavern, her demand echoing, the waterfall a distant rumble.

                Though his eyes became hooded at her question, there was a certain amount of satisfaction that rose in those dark irises of his. He turned to lean back against the cave wall once more, practically plopping on the rock, though his gesture seemed to beckon her forth.

                She didn’t appreciate it. She didn’t wish to be anywhere near him, not close enough to give him a chance to grab hold of her, to hurt her. But as he lingered, seemingly anticipating her approach, she frowned. He could have easily dragged her toward him, taken hold of her with the Force seeing as how he was so adept with it. He seemed to merely wait on her and the thought sent a strange, eerie shiver through her.

                Warily stepping forward, Rey gingerly closed the distance between them, her entire form stiffening. She was aware of his eyes on her the entire time as she finally came up beside him, returning his stare as she slowed to a stop and met him head on. She would not show him weakness or fear, she counseled herself, _ordered_ herself.

                Standing before her naked from the waist up, he didn’t feel as tall as he usually did when he wore his tattered hood and the black and chrome helmet. But that was not to say that he didn’t still cut an intimidating figure, especially half-swathed in the darkness of the cavern and the blue light streaming through the falling curtain of water on their opposite side. Where they had come to stand, she felt the gentle spray from the torrent, found that she would have to raise her voice to be heard at such closeness. Glaring once more, she repeated her question loudly now that she stood directly before him. “Where are my-”

                She broke off, turning her head as she heard another sound besides the immediate waterfall to her left.

                There was a glimpse of the world outside of the cave, around the edges of the water thundering down past the mouth of the cavern they resided in, and she found herself carefully leaning at the very edge of the rock floor to peer around the cascading flow. It brought her within close quarters of him but in that moment she found herself utterly distracted as she looked outside.

                Night had indeed fallen and though the world was dark, it was still lit well enough for her to find the entire scene spread out before her to be beautiful. Pouring rain was falling outside over the bountiful forests surrounding the waterfall, over the runoff that became a heavy flowing stream leading like a ribbon of flashing diamonds in the scattered moonlight through the spraying midst and vanishing from view around a heavy copse.

                For a moment she couldn’t speak as she merely stared in wonder at the beauty of it all, a sigh escaping her.

                The knight also looked out with her and he exhaled softly, almost wistfully. A strange sound to hear from him but one somehow oddly familiar in that moment shared between them; as if he also found this new uncharted world to be stunning.

                And then still strange; as if she had heard him sigh like this, so gently and wonderfully, before. In a dream. A nightmare, if it involved him, she reflected. Regaining her breath from witnessing the marvel, she caught the scent of him in the air surrounding her as she was now in such close proximity to him, and she hesitated at finding it recognizable, yet one more thing that poked at her foggy memory.

                As if from a dream, she thought again absentmindedly.

                She drew back slightly, blinking rapidly, before turning her head to look up at him slowly, warily.

                He tilted his head down at her, eyes meeting hers before slipping down to her lips momentarily. Her own mirrored his as she also dropped her gaze. She had never before noticed that he had a lovely mouth, a full bottom lip that was somehow a deep shade of red, standing out against his fair skin. He wore his scar well, the one she had etched into his face with his family’s lightsaber. Perhaps that was why she had never noticed his attractive features. Too busy trying to kill or be killed, she supposed dimly. She remembered then, becoming aware once more, that she still didn’t know where he had put the weapon, if he had even _found_ it, or where her clothes were for that matter.      

                As if somehow hearing her very thoughts, he silently lifted a hand and pointed out past the side of the raging waterfall and toward the forest with a long finger.

                Frowning faintly, she turned her head to look back out around the waterfall toward where he had indicated.

                The growl she loosed echoed in the cavern, reverberating and floating away as she saw what he had motioned to. Her beige and white uniform hung from large, reaching tree limbs, spread out across several branches and trees at the closest edge of the forest. In the pouring rain, she could see that they were soaked even from where she stood within the cave.

                “Oh, what in _blazes_ -” she shouted at him, prompting a smirk to cross his face.

                She didn’t bother to say anything more to him. Leaning out over the edge of the cave mouth, she caught a glimpse of the pond just below, the one where she had encountered the remains of her X-wing. It wasn’t much of a drop from the edge of the cavern to the flat stone ground where she had first awakened; she could even drop herself into the pond if she wanted a quick way down to retrieve her clothes. But directly along the cliff wall to the right as she leaned out, she registered small footholds of protruding rock that she could use to climb down to the rock flats bordering the pond below.

                She would have to do it, she realized. While she was growing stronger in her use of the Force, she did not trust herself to carry her full weight and float down to the flat stone ground. In addition, it was easier to go down than to come back up. She would need a physical way to return. Once she had her clothes, she would need to come back to this cave to seek shelter from the rain and to give her clothes a proper amount of time to dry so that she could wear them again under her flight suit. Whether she continued to stay after that was a matter for another day if she didn’t have to engage the knight once more in battle. At the moment he seemed perfectly comfortable merely watching her, gauging her. He had even done her the favor of setting her clothes out to dry, she realized in that moment. He had just left them out there once the rain had come.

                She frowned at that, turning her head to look back at him. But a second later, she shook her head inwardly at herself. It didn’t matter what he had done in the time she had slept, whether it had been out of the goodness of his heart or if it served him some sort of purpose later. What she needed now was to retrieve her wet clothes and then seek shelter. If he decided to put up a fight, she would be more than willing to encounter him then.

                Growling again at the realization that she would need to go out into the pouring rain to grab her uniform, she pushed past the knight as if he posed no threat whatsoever and immediately went to make her way down carefully along the rock footholds. The jutting stones were sturdy though, etched deeply into the cliff wall, and she hopped down to the ground below in a matter of moments. Straightening, she made her way over to her clothes hanging from the tree branches, breaking into a run but slowing slightly when she saw her broken X-wing now resting on the opposite side of flat stone by the pond when it had once been submerged. She frowned at that, casting a quick glance over her shoulder toward the knight but even as he met her eyes from the mouth of the cave above, he turned away with a look of boredom, vanishing into the darkness of the cavern.

                Shaking her head at the conflicting sides of him, realizing somewhere deep within how _strong_ in the Force he had to be to lift and move heavy vessels like her X-wing, Rey continued on toward the trees to retrieve her clothing. They were soaked through, exactly as she had suspected, and she had to jump to yank some articles down from the tree limbs. By the time she was done, her own flight suit had taken the brunt of the pouring rain, deflecting most of it except where the tears in the uniform granted access to her skin. But she was chilled to the bone and she quickly propped her wet clothes on her shoulders and scampered back to the rock wall, using the same ledges to quickly but carefully step and lift herself up back to the cave mouth.

                Stepping foot inside the cavern, she waited a moment to regain her breath, shaking the water from her loose, wet hair, before shouting toward his crouched form where he faced the opposite wall. “You are a _pain_!”

                He didn’t respond for a breath. Then his voice came quietly, low and deep. “Am I?” he asked monotonously, seemingly distracted.

                Clenching her hands into fists at her sides, she glared at his broad, pale shoulders as she shivered. “What the hell were they doing out there?” she demanded.

                He looked over at her and opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

                “And don’t tell me that you were drying them! I meant, why am I naked under this flight suit?” she snapped and she lifted a hand to her collar and yanked it away from her skin furiously before releasing it to pull back to her form.

                He paused for the slightest moment before returning to what he had been doing a moment before, which seemed to be folding up his numerous layers of tunics and tops, and wrapping them and his own lightsaber up in the tattered hood. “You undressed for me. Do you remember that?” he asked without facing her.

                “I… _what?_ ” Rey recoiled, her jaw falling open, and she blinked at his back. “I-I most certainly did not!” she stammered in disbelief. “I would _never_ …”

                “Never…undress? For me?” he questioned and he turned to arch a brow at her for a long moment before returning his attention to his uniform. “That could very well be true. And in this case, it is.” He shrugged, shoving the lightsaber deeper in the pile of clothes he had created. “You needed to be warmed before your body temperature dropped too low. I undressed you and wrapped you in my own clothes to recover. I left your wet clothes out to dry but, as you can see, the rain came.” He finished and rose to his feet, this time throwing a quick glance at her before turning and moving deeper into the cavern. “That flight suit deflects water and provides a thermal flak vest as well for insulation when undamaged,” he called back to her. “It served its purpose well enough. Once you reached an appropriate body temperature, I re-dressed you in it.”

                Rey frowned at his dispassionately clinical tone, watching him as he crouched once more deeper in the cavern. This meant that he had not only undressed her but he had seen her fully nude, that she had been bared before him. Even if he had done it to help her, which she was finding hard to believe though she stood standing in the cavern safe and alive, he’d had no right to put her in such a position. She frowned at the thought, grimaced faintly as she continued to come back to the fact that he had already seen her, his counterpart in the Light, at her most vulnerable even if she hadn’t been aware of it.

                And yet, he had done her no harm.

               She raised her eyes back toward him where he kneeled and her stare shifted from his pale shoulders and arms to the items he was tending to. She recognized them a moment later, her lips parting. In the cool grayness of the cavern, she could quite clearly see the emergency cases and rations that she had pulled from the X-wing, noting a few other unfamiliar items as well; also emergency cases but these were marked with a different, far more menacing, insignia.

                The First Order.

                He pulled out several small items and vials, gathering them in one large hand and then clutching them to his chest as he added more to the pile. As he finished, he shut the cases and stood to his feet. He took a step toward her before hesitating, his eyes catching to something among the pile of cases.

                He seemed to weigh a decision then, a muscle clenching in his jaw as he stared down. But he finally stooped low and took up a long metallic cylinder, palming it before moving back toward her.

                Rey’s eyes dropped to the items curled up in his arm and hand before looking toward the other item. A feeling of sudden and immense relief washed over her as she recognized Luke’s lightsaber clutched in his other hand. She immediately moved forward to meet him, a palm held out for the weapon.

                He hesitated in handing it over, though, and she raised her eyes to his, a frown beginning to cross her face once more.

                He leaned toward her, his voice dropping as he met her stare. “Remember who this belongs to,” he said to her quietly, a hint of menace in his tone. Then he handed it over and she snatched it from him, quickly lowering it to her side and wishing to hide it away where he wouldn’t be able to see it. But then he was handing her the items cradled in the crook of his arm as well and she was forced to reach out again to collect everything he gave her.

                Dry rations and cleaning items, tiny vials of products. She tried to juggle them, the lightsaber sitting awkwardly in her hand as he deposited item after item into the circle of her arms, but they were numerous in number and she was forced to crouch and set them down on the cave floor in order to examine them closer.

                “No water containers. It isn’t necessary,” he said from overhead and when she looked up at him from where she knelt, he merely motioned toward the waterfall and beyond with a dismissive wave. “The water is potable out there.” He turned away from her again and this time he stretched slightly, a motion that would have gone unnoticed if Rey hadn’t been paying such close attention to him distrustfully. He moved back toward his clothes and bent to retrieve the entire pile, lifting it into his arms and nearing again though he moved toward the circle of stones in the middle of the cavern.

                There had been a fire set within this cave, she remembered, as the knight paused beside the stone setting and charred wood in the center of their rock dwelling. He lowered the wrapped up pile of clothes to the ground, patting it and attempting to flatten it some. And then he lowered himself to the rock surface beside it and stretched out, the pile of clothes becoming a pillow for his head of dark waves.

                Rey blinked where she still knelt. “And that’s it?” she demanded of him. When he glanced at her in surprise, she only then noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the weariness. But she was so far ahead of that, so driven to understand what was happening that she couldn’t help but react. “What, you’re just going to sleep now? As if I’m not even here? As if we don’t have a _problem_ here?”

                The knight frowned at her as she spoke but by the end of her tiny rant he merely rolled his eyes away and settled comfortably. “If you feel that we still have a problem, we can address it in the morning. Right now, only one of us has actually had any kind of sleep and that person isn’t me,” he stated and he closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. “If you want to kill me, try to get that done sometime soon. If not, we can figure out our next move together at dawn.”

                Rey recoiled. “Our next _move?_ ” she asked with a humorless laugh. “Are you _mad?_ ” And she motioned around the entire cavern, motioned to him as well. “We are not _friends_! If I kill you in your sleep, I would be doing a service to the Resistance! I would-”

                “Then do it!” He ordered her curtly in a loud snapping tone, dark eyes coming open to glare at her, his scar deepening as cold emotion curled across his face. “Kill me and see how long you last on this lush planet with no sand! This planet with only two downed ships and no one to sell parts to! See how well that works for you, Scavenger.”

                Rey recoiled, humiliation and anger immediately washing over her and warring inside for prime position. Blinking, she felt her hands clench into fists along the hard rock floor and she looked blindly toward Luke’s lightsaber, emotion swelling deep within. Even as she stared at it, she felt tears gather, fury and shame pushing them to rise.

                Of course he would remember that part of her, all those years that she had spent, her entire _life_ , scavenging and trying just to survive. And of course he would aim to debase her as he had that day on StarKiller when he had interrogated her while keeping her strapped to a cold, metal chair.

                How low she must seem to him, she thought wildly, painfully.

                “Do it,” the knight murmured and she looked back over at him in silent anger, eyes reddening. As he met her glare, she realized that he had somehow ripped her thoughts from her head, the surge of her murderous intentions. And as she stared at him now, barely managing to come back to herself, she watched his lips form the words again, watched as he prodded her almost lazily, penetratingly. “Do it. You’ve wanted to kill me for over a year now. You’ve wanted-”

                “I’ve barely given you a _thought_ in a year,” she said softly then, her eyes becoming hooded though she felt the tremor in her voice. She was attempting to separate herself from this argument they had wandered into and she didn’t understand why his words could hurt her when there was no reason for her to feel anything else for him except hatred, animosity. “I haven’t _cared_ in a year.” And she shook her head at him, feeling the fake sympathy cross her face, twisting her expression though she was sure that he could see her red, glistening eyes and the quiver in her lips. She sighed, her voice low and gentle even as she knew she cut into him. “You were never worth it,” she murmured with a last shake of her head.

                And with that, with him glaring daggers at her, she turned her attention back to the items he had given her. Cleansing vials and a small packet of dry rations. The food would be grimy, packed with nutrients she would need but not something she would seriously consider edible. But as she looked at it, she suddenly realized how hungry she was. With a grimace, she pulled everything together again, shoving the lightsaber into the part between her breasts, snuggled within her flight suit. And she rose, barely casting him a last glance before turning to the mouth of the cavern.

                She would bathe and eat in the rain and cloudy moonlight outside of the cave while he slept. And in the morning, they would either have words or come to blows.

                But she realized then that he was correct.

                It could wait until morning.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Five: **

She had wanted to touch him then, to trail her fingers through his curling hair as if it would have given an answer to any of her questions.

 


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ao3 seems to be up and down so it's taking a while to upload this chapter. Hope it works!

**Chapter Five:**

 

                The next morning found her still wide awake. The vials, now holding varying amounts of liquids and gels, sat on the hard cave floor beside her. She clutched the lightsaber close to her form as she leaned back on the wall of the cavern, as she looked out beyond the edge of the waterfall to the coming dawn.

                Her ‘ _bath’_ in the pond had been much more luxurious than she had expected it to be, especially since she had continuously shifted her eyes upward to see if the knight had come to the mouth of the cavern to watch her. He hadn’t, though, and she had managed to bathe and wash her hair out with the gels in the small vials, settling finally once she’d realized that he had actually retired for the night. The rations left much to be desired but that was a thought for later in the morning or day when he woke at last. She had also redressed in her torn flight suit, understanding that she had a brand new one waiting for her in the emergency cases in the cavern but unwilling to fish it out until she was absolutely desperate for it.

                When she had returned from bathing at last, she had found him sleeping soundly beside the circle of rocks that had once held a fire, and she found herself frowning yet again at the thought. She was forgetting something and she couldn’t remember what it was for the life of her.

                She had paused beside his form and looked down at him, had measured him silently. In sleep, he did not seem murderous or cruel. His brow was still persistently drawn into a frown but his mouth was soft, his long wide body turned on its side with his back to the dormant fire pit, a loose fetal position. He hadn’t seemed as large or threatening, as _overwhelming_ , in sleep and silence. He had merely seemed like a young man tucked away for the night. She had realized how tired he must have been, feeling deep inside that he would not awaken yet for quite a few hours. The thought had caused her to slowly and carefully kneel at his side and lean close to observe him, to search his face and the weight of his brow for something to make her understand him, to help her accept his decisions and his reasons for the terrible things he had done in his life.

                She had wanted to touch him then, to trail her fingers through his curling hair as if it would have given an answer to any of her questions.

                But upon realizing what her hand itched to do, she had recoiled from him, darting back to her feet, a leaping shadow in the cool darkness and the hazy moonlight filtering through the waterfall. Shaking her head, she had moved away and returned to the edge of the cave, turning her mind to what needed to be done then.

                The rain had stopped mere hours after she had retrieved her clothes and even now she had laid them out again, hanging them over the edge of the mouth of the cavern, leaving them to dry in the breeze though the waterfall would send a spattering yet consistent light spray over them.

                The dawning day was quiet, the waterfall a gentle song in the background, a clean and clear scent in the air; the smell of trees and dew, of a world awakening. How familiar and how beautiful, how serene. She tilted her head slightly before settling it back against the cavern wall to await the sun, watching as the moon finally came out fully behind the clouds above. Soon there would be ribbons of pink and gold in the sky, purple and blue fading away until evening came again.

                How perfect this world felt even though she didn’t yet know it. How stunning.

                The knight shifted after what seemed to be an hour of her watching the dawn and the new day, snapping awake as if startled. He sat up, reaching blindly, frantically, for something in his haze before settling, before recognizing his surroundings. And then his eyes alighted on her as she looked toward him from the mouth of the cave and he glared for a long moment before he broke their eye contact, hunching over his knees as he dragged them in toward his chest.

                “Still alive,” she called over liltingly, a small smile quirking at the edges of her lips. “Imagine that.”

                He shifted, seeming to compose himself, to wake up fully as she merely stared at him. “I am…as surprised as you are,” he responded quietly and without waiting for her to add anything else, he rose to his feet, blinking wearily.

                “You should sleep more, knight,” she advised and she turned away to look back out toward the dawning day, inhaling and then sighing as she recognized the forming ribbons at last. It would be a gorgeous day after all on this unknown, uncharted planet. “You don’t know what sort of day you have ahead of you.”

                He grunted at her as he moved, as he went toward the emergency cases and crouched to dig into them. “Are you my mother now, scavenger?” he tossed back absentmindedly, and he began to pull out his own collection of vials, an entirely clean flight suit from one of the First Order cases.

                A buckethead uniform, Rey noted as she cast a quick glance over. “No. You don’t need another, Commander,” she said and she looked back toward the waterfall, her voice seemingly distracted, aloof. Exactly what she wanted him to think she felt, for he deserved nothing from her, least of all kindness. It was all one and the same concerning her attitude toward him and she refused to make it a sympathetic one. “You have a perfectly good and able mother now. I can’t say that about everyone.”

                There was a long pause from his direction but she didn’t bother to look over to see where the silence had come from.

                A moment later he was shuffling, coming to his feet and heading straight for her.

                _That_ caused her to look up immediately, instinctively drawing her legs in and ducking her head.

                But the knight came right up to her and then leaned over her, a bit too close for her comfort if she was honest with herself. He reached for a handhold as he swung his tall body over her and onto the first rock step that would take him down to the ground far below and to the pond. She unfurled her body and watched him climb down easily, holding on with one hand, the other clutching his collection of vials, the buckethead uniform hanging over his shoulder.

                The X-wing sat silently still on the opposite side of the waterfall and Rey found her eyes drawn to it as the knight reached the ground below, her eyebrows tipping upward as she ran her gaze over its hard lines and edges. No doubt the knight had pulled the vessel from the waters and deposited it on the side with the use of the Force; a strength in that specific ability that she knew she did not yet possess to that magnitude. In fact, she thought as she watched him pause at the near edge of the pond and place his items on the flat rock and grass, he was klicks ahead of her concerning his knowledge of the Force and the ability to control and wield it.

                She wondered then why and how she was even still alive.

                The knight paused at the edge for a moment before lifting his head to her. She returned his glance, her eyebrows lifting questioningly, still attempting to portray an indifferent expression and bearing in her hooded eyes.

                With an arch to his own eyebrow, he lifted his hands to the waistband of his trousers and yanked them down.

                Rey’s eyes flew up and away instantly, her lips parting around a silent yet surprised gasp as she attempted to focus on the coming dawn, on the gold in the sky and how it painted the trees with a brilliant halo.

                _By the Maker-_

                The knight was in the water by the time she carefully lowered her eyes. And when she did, she found that she couldn’t pull them from him once they settled.

                He was…beautiful. She frowned as she thought it, as she ran her gaze over him. Tall and lean but broad, _heavily_ broad; wide shoulders, pale skin marked with scars and healed welts, a hard body with solid muscle. She watched as he bathed, as he went far into the pond where the water reached his chest and shoulders even as he stood on the bottom. Just far enough to duck down and submerge himself, to wash away the cleansing gel he had applied to his hair. His skin shone in the coming sun and Rey lifted her head as the rays came down over them past the canopy of trees huddled in the wood, lighting the waterfall and the pond surface, lighting _him_ beneath its mirrored face in a brilliant gold.

                How could someone like that be so beautiful, so ethereal?

                He broke the surface, flipping his hair away from his face with one quick gesture as he took a deep breath of air. He shook the water from his body momentarily and then settled before turning a sly look her way.

                This time Rey didn’t look away, didn’t shy from his eyes.

                He seemed to enjoy the attention but he turned from her, running his hands through his wet hair, a curl to his lips. His lower body was a distorted image in the rippling water lapping at his waist but she definitely got a good look at his rear, at the muscle running throughout and down his long legs.

                The smooth skin marked with so many scars.

                She frowned at that as her eyes caught and held, as she leaned forward slightly to get a closer look. She recognized many of his scars and stains, the thick pink skin that had formed and healed, the raised flesh if she were to pass her fingertips over it. A familiar gesture and thought for a moment, she realized before she was distracted once more. His body had taken much punishment and she was almost sorry then, her eyebrows lifting slightly as she stared, as she tried to understand each and every welt.

                He straightened stiffly suddenly, still giving her his back, and for a moment he didn’t move, didn’t shift from her eyes. But then, as if he had known that her gaze was still on him, he turned and strode toward the edge of the pond, toward his clothes and the new flight suit piled up by the edge.

                It seemed that he’d had enough of her attention.

                Rey blinked, watching him, noting the change in his body and his stride. And she scrutinized him as he came to the edge of the pond, as the water reached only as far as his knees, lapping at the bottom of his thighs. Her lips parted as her eyes ran down the hard lines of his body, the curves of his shoulders, down his spine to his rear. All muscle, all pale and scarred skin.

                But not a glimpse of the front of his body as he easily lifted himself to the rock slats, as he crouched to lift the black flight suit and gave her his back as he began to pull it on.

                Rey lifted her head, eyes becoming hooded again as she attempted to understand his gestures, his thoughts. As a Force Sensitive, she’d realized that she could catch snippets of thoughts, stumble across and draw the tangled threads of them toward her well enough to read as if picking words up from a holo-book.

                But he was an entirely different case; tough to comprehend and immensely difficult to reach. She knew very little concerning the Force and how to wield it, but she did not consider herself helpless. He, however, was a problem all his own and one that she did not appreciate having to solve.

                And so she waited as the knight dressed himself fully in the suit, admiring the way it clung to his tall, broad form. He stooped to pull his original black uniform together and she hadn’t even been aware that he had taken his lightsaber with him until he tied the belt around his waist and over the black flight suit, readjusting the weapon in its case at his hip.

                Then he was returning, moving toward the rock face and taking the steep steps up effortlessly, even with full arms, until she had to recoil for him to hop into the mouth of the cavern. He barely spared her a look though he did throw off a casual remark as he passed by her.

                “Enjoy the view?”

                Rey flinched away from both the question and his tone as he spoke. “Well, I-”

                But he was striding away from her as she stammered, dropping his clothes to the opposite wall of the cavern where he had originally placed his items; away from the emergency cases, away from the fireplace that he had created. His own little spot in this cavern they seemed to currently share.

                “Oh, we’re definitely not sharing this place,” he said to her almost in an offhand remark.

                She blinked, her jaw dropping open.

                Then it was true. As surely as she could catch snippets of thoughts, he matched her and he could read them as well. And quite easily, she realized with a cold foreboding feeling within.

                And with the realization came the anger; anger that he would do it to _her_ , though she understood that, of _course_ , he would do it to her, of _course_ he would want to know what his enemy was thinking the entire time he was in her company.

                And _more_ anger; anger that he would know exactly what she thought and would delve into her privacy as if there were no barriers, no signs to redirect him. Nothing to stop him. Her thoughts were the most private things to go into and he could do it without qualm, without a second thought.

                Additionally, now he also knew exactly what she thought of him, what she thought _overall_. The invasion was as personal as it was monstrous, humiliating. She stared at him as if she had never seen him before even though he had his back to her and was going about his business as if he hadn’t just sent her world spiraling.

                Is this what I do to others, she thought then painfully, frantically. She felt her breath quicken, felt her chest clutch. Yes, it was what she did to people but she never did it purposefully; their thoughts just came into her head, always a tumultuous chorus of words and feelings, always things that she had to separate and comb through to make sense of. And only then did she understand that she had picked up on them, that she had unwillingly invaded someone’s head. How was she to know-

                She snapped her head up to look at him, blinking even though she saw nothing except his curled back, her thoughts suddenly frantic. Was this the same thing then? Was he picking apart words in his head and forming them into what he thought that _she_ thought? Or was he diving straight in and taking whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted? Just as he had threatened over a year ago, just as he had _promised_ to do to her when she had been strapped into that cold, metal interrogation chair on his StarKiller Base.

                “You’re screaming at me,” he murmured and he stood to his feet abruptly, jerkily. With a frown, he strode over toward the pile of Resistance and First Order rations and emergency items, and he stared down at them for a long moment before crouching once more and beginning to dig through the cases and objects.

                Her stare turned into a glare and she slowly found herself rising to her feet blindly. “I’m _screaming_ at you?” she echoed him in the breath of a whisper, her shoulders beginning to heave in anger.

                Whether he was her enemy or someone she was currently marooned on this unknown planet with, he had no right to look into her head as if it were his very own. There was nothing in there for him and the thought that he would invade her mind so easily, so… _casually_ -

                He grimaced faintly and shook his head roughly halfway through his search of the emergency items, his face straining. “Yes. You are screaming at me. Very loudly. And honestly, just a bit shrilly. There is a literal echo in my head-”

                His voice fell away as she heard his words, deciphered them slowly, through a haze. How arrogant of him. How so very _him_ , she realized, attempting to find her own voice in the din of shame that she was immersing herself in even as she hurled it at him at the same time.

                Well, if he wanted to hear something, he could very well hear her now.

                Taking a step toward him, Rey’s arm darted out, a scream shooting through her head at the gesture.

                The knight may have seen it coming but her shriek seemed to knock everything else out of sync for him. He bent his head low with a hard wince before he was suddenly flung off his feet and across the cavern, almost vanishing into the deep darkness beyond if not for his pale skin and hands. He crashed roughly and skidded, coming to a slow stop and settling into silence.

                Rey stared wrathfully, breathing heavily, her arm falling down at her side as she waited for him to stir, to regroup. She almost wanted him to stay down, to avoid a fight. She wanted him to be silent, to not even be present. She wanted-

                He moved a moment later, shifting. He had landed face down and now he slid a hand along the ground inelegantly, slowly pushing himself up off the rock floor to a knee in a rough motion.

                She waited still, feeling her muscles clench, adrenaline racing through her. She was ready for him, ready for anything he would throw at her. He had deserved her anger and she would be unwilling to back down before him. She glared as he lifted his head, as his lips parted in a pained sigh.

                There was a grimace there for a second but then it was gone from his face, though his expression remained tight, even as it fell into a strange state of composure. Exhaling quietly, the sound echoing from deep within the cave, he rose to his feet, unsteady for a moment. Arching a weary brow, he brushed at the rock dust that clung to his black flight suit, the tightness falling away from his face and leaving it blank.

                Then, taking a mere step back toward the pile of items he had been searching through earlier, he made a small gesture, a flick of his fingers, his eyes fixed on the pile.

                Rey felt as if something slammed into her, head to toe. Her air was stolen from her as she was hurled and she felt her body punch through the middle of the heavy waterfall and out into the world beyond. The impact hurt in its intensity, knocking breath and sense out of her. She fell for a moment, for an eternity, before she hit the pond below, breaking through the calm surface painfully, stunned virtually into unconsciousness.

                As she descended slowly, limply, she watched the morning light shimmer above along the wavering face, blinked as the waterfall pounded into the pond, a dull roar underwater that pushed her deeper and deeper down, away from the light. And then she closed her eyes, breathing in water against her will as she found her limbs unresponsive, her chest immediately straining.

                Darkness slipped in mercifully.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Six: **

“What are you going to do, Rey?” he asked her quietly as he loomed over her, seemingly unafraid that she held a weapon that could slice him in half. “Are you going to kill me? Just as you’ve wanted to do from the beginning? From even before crash landing here and becoming stranded with me-”

“Yes,” she answered immediately, not fathoming why her response came out broken, stilted.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Short chapter and a long wait, I'm sorry. Been a busy couple of weeks and looks like it'll only get busier. Today was my one free day so here I am updating! Hope you guys like it!

**Chapter Six:**

 

                When she came to, it was darkening outside.

                She frowned, groaning faintly as she stirred, as she felt the coolness in the air, in the coming night. The sky was a deepening blue, streaked through with ribbons of pink and purple, and for a moment she could only marvel. This world was indeed beautiful even to her senseless eyes as she breathed wearily.

                Her throat hurt. She blinked at that weakly, lifting a hand to her neck and swallowing to test it again, to try to understand. Breathing in a gasp, she felt the strain, felt the drag and the rawness. Even another swallow of saliva did nothing.

                Shifting, she carefully tried to rise up off the rock ground beneath her form and she felt the sudden cough rise, felt the surge of water in her throat as she did so. She turned onto her side, attempting to choke it up but there was nothing left to rise except the small amount that she spat to the ground almost irritably. Inhaling deeply, lungs burning, she grimaced as she turned her face to the sky, as she searched her surroundings dimly.

                She was by the waterfall, stretched out on the rock slabs beside the pond. She frowned once more, reaching through the dimness of her hazy memories, attempting to understand.

                How had she gotten here? What time was it? The last thing she remembered was being in the cave with the knight. They had been…they had been arguing for some reason; or maybe as was just usual for the type of people that they were, the enemies they were supposed to be. And now here she was, but something had transpired between it all and-

                He had Force tossed her right out of the cavern as if she had weighed no more than a feather.

                Suddenly remembering as if she had just gone through the experience again, she spun on her rear and looked toward the mouth of the cave behind the waterfall.

                The knight stood leaning against the rock wall at the mouth of the cave, arms crossed over his black uniform, his head lifted as he looked down toward her.

                Down _on_ her.

                How appropriate for him, the arrogant ass, she thought in that moment and her brow drew low as she returned his glare, as she felt her body draw up angrily. Scrambling to her feet rather weakly, clumsily, she turned to face him head on, her hands curling into fists at her sides as she scowled. In the back of her mind, she was aware that her hair was damp along the nape of her neck, that her throat was quite raw, her lungs stinging somewhere in the background. But she could only stare at the knight from where he merely gazed back down at her. There was darkness surrounding him, the waterfall gleaming with the last of the sun and throwing shifting gold slants of light on him, across his dark hair and scarred face.

                Then, as if feeling her anger but outright dismissing it as insignificant, he merely arched a brow at her and turned away to vanish into the cavern.

                Not this time, she thought, and she flew toward the cliff side, throwing her aching body against it and latching onto the handholds. She climbed up the rock face wearily, her muscles strangely fatigued though they held her. By the time she heaved herself up into the cavern, her body was trembling from the strain. Pulling herself out onto her knees on the cave floor, she raised her head, breathing hard.

                Her clothes were still laid out to dry behind the waterfall, the cleansing vials resting beside Luke’s lightsaber; all items untouched as if awaiting her return.

                She frowned at the items and then looked up into the darkness of the cavern.

                The knight crouched beside the circle of rocks he had created, beside a pile of wood blocks waiting for a spark to light it aflame to warm the cave. He lifted his eyes to her and then waited, elbows coming to rest on his knees as he measured her. “How does that throat feel?” he inquired almost innocently in his deep tone.

                Rey shoved herself to her feet, no longer caring about the strange weakness in her body, seeing nothing but him and feeling the profound anger inside that wanted to manifest itself into physical violence. “What did you do to me?” she demanded of him hoarsely, her words and voice scratching out, raw.

                He tossed her a look of surprise, almost of disbelief, then lowered his eyes back to the pile of wood before him and shook his head. “I am…astounded,” he stated with a quiet, mirthless laugh. “Just completely dumbfounded-”

                _“What did you do to me?”_ she shouted at him, and this time her cry echoed in the cavern, tempered only by the crash of the waterfall at her back. Her voice came up sore and croaky, and she was already wincing at how dry it felt, how it ripped out of her and sent her throat burning.

                The knight darted to his feet and darkness suddenly seemed to surround him, rising with the blackening expression on his face. “I pulled you out of the water and resuscitated you,” he snapped at her, his own form brimming with barely checked anger, his massive form nearly trembling. “You threw up half the pond!”

                No. _No_. He was not going to say that and make it seem as if he had saved her life.

                “You threw me _in_ there! You tossed me as if I weighed _nothing_ -” she cried agonizingly.

                “And _you_ threw me halfway across this _cave_ so I think we’re quite even,” he hissed at her and he turned away, returning his attention to the fire that waited to be lit still. Shaking his head, he tossed a quick glance toward his pile of items against the rock wall before looking back down at the circle of rocks and wood.

                Just enough time distracted for Rey to snatch up Luke’s lightsaber from the floor of the cave and activate it.

                The blue light was a sudden brilliant glow in the darkness of the cavern, beaming strong and thrumming against the waterfall at her back. The hum reverberated, running low beneath the crash of the falling water, the heady noise surrounding them.

                The knight turned his head to merely look at her for a long moment, his pale face lit by the dazzling blue.

                Rey caught the flicker of disappointment in his eyes, the lift of his brow as his stare hovered over the saber in her hands before shooting back up to meet her glare. With an inward sigh, he shook his head again, bowing it low for a breath. Then he was moving toward her, his jaw tightening, and within moments he was before her, searching her face.

                “What are you going to do, Rey?” he asked her quietly as he loomed over her, seemingly unafraid that she held a weapon that could slice him in half. “Are you going to kill me? Just as you’ve wanted to do from the beginning? From even before crash landing here and becoming stranded with me-”

                “Yes,” she answered immediately, not fathoming why her response came out broken, stilted. But she composed herself, her hands tightening on the lightsaber. “Yes. I’m going to kill you,” she repeated, staring at him and wishing him to understand how she hated him, how she completely and utterly loathed him. “I’m going to-”

                He snorted at her response, bringing her to hesitate. “You’re not going to kill me,” he murmured, his eyes dropping down her body and moving back up lazily, no longer even acknowledging the weapon in her hands. “You think you have it in you to do it, that you can take a life so easily when you have spent your entire existence merely _surviving_.”

                She blinked at him, her lips parting.

                “You think that just because we are adversaries that you can kill me in cold blood,” he growled at her and a moment later he stopped, his eyes caught to hers, those dark irises searching her hazel ones for her secrets. “When you’ve only ever killed to defend yourself,” he murmured, staring at her, grasping at words in the air between them and speaking them dimly, distractedly. “To protect yourself and your home. To protect-”

                “ _Get out of my head!_ ” she screamed, heat flooding her body, her fingers trembling around the slender metal of the weapon’s hilt. It shook in her hands and she realized it was because she quivered herself, because he had done it yet again; had gone into her head and pulled things from her that no one was meant to see, that no one should ever have to use against her. She shut her eyes for a moment even as she felt tears rise in them, attempting to compose herself, but how many times would she be violated like this?

                “I’m not in your head,” he whispered then and he had somehow drawn near, his breath hovering over her cheek so closely that it snapped her out of her humiliation and brought her eyes to come open.

                He towered over her, standing nearly on top of her.

                As she stared up at him weakly, she watched as his eyes shifted around her face blindly, as they swept downward absentmindedly. “You’re so loud,” he murmured, blinking slowly, almost lethargically, and his hand rose to hover over her face tentatively as he gazed at her. It wasn’t a threatening gesture and Rey found herself suddenly wanting to feel his hand on her skin, his fingers on her cheek as he spoke deeply, hypnotically. “Your voice echoes in my head, in this cave. You don’t even know how you throw your thoughts-”

                “Stop reading them,” she begged of him, instantly knowing his response even as her words left her lips.

                “I can’t,” he rasped back at her and he closed his own eyes, shaking his head. “It’s as if you’re screaming into a hall; I can’t help but hear you. You don’t know how to control it-”

                She needed him to be quiet then, needed him to stop _talking_ ; no doubt the same way he wanted her to be silent even if she couldn’t help herself. Because she had realized that the more he spoke to her quietly, softly as he did now, the more he seemed to prod her into frailty, defenselessness. She felt her body fall weakly at his voice and words, felt herself be lured into a false sense of complacency. And she realized that she couldn’t allow it to happen, not with him.

                Never with him.

                Her hands tightening, she moved to swing the lightsaber, her stiffening form betraying her intent.

                The knight moved as she did, bending away from her strike and staggering backward. He recovered immediately and flung an arm out behind him, reaching. He slid back another step as she advanced on him, as she thrust her weapon outward in a direct jab toward his center.

                His own weapon flew across the span of the cave and he instantly ignited it as his fingers wrapped around it, the red flaming saber clashing with hers before she even understood what had happened. One moment she was sure she had him in the torso and the next, his lightsaber swept her jab aside and outward, forcing her to stumble sideways a step.

                “Rey, stop,” he warned her in that low tone that she was beginning to despise.

                She recovered, drawing back into a defensive stance and glaring at him past the blue glow of her lightsaber. Before her, he mirrored her though he was taller, broader, his wild weapon casting red light throughout the cavern. She could only imagine what their battle must have looked like from outside of the waterfall to the world and its inhabitants beyond.

                Beautiful, she presumed, with the clashing colors and lights. Magical. Ethereal.

                “You and I…” she whispered to him heatedly, angrily, “are _stranded_ here on this damn planet together. You. And I. Because you had to attack my home, my friends.” Her voice trembled as did her hands, her fingers tightening weakly around the lightsaber hilt. “You said it yourself; I would only kill someone to defend myself, to protect my home. And now here we are. You and I.”

                He stared at her warily, his eyes shifting from her face to her hands wrapped around the lightsaber.

                She felt then that he was gauging her, was assessing how erratic she currently was, and she hoped he was reading her mind, pulling her thoughts from her head to see just how feral she was about to become. “What did you think would happen with the two of us here together like this?” she questioned him softly, wondering if her words had fallen away beneath the thrum and crackle of their sabers, beneath the crashing of the water. “How did you think this would end for us?”

                The knight watched her, his face pale, the glow of their weapons fighting for dominance across his light skin. “Not like this,” he revealed quietly, wearily. “I hoped it wouldn’t go this way.” And the truth was evident in his tone then.

                She blinked at that, straightening slightly. But then she shook it off, lowering her head once more. “Then maybe we shouldn’t have stranded ourselves here together,” she stated grimly. “Maybe it would’ve been better if we had both just blown each other out of the sky and crashed, killed each other from the start.” She cocked her head, hazel eyes trained on him. “It would have saved us a lot of time.”

                He frowned at her words, his dark stare darting away from hers before returning a moment later, his jaw tightening. “Time is inconsequential,” he murmured, sounding almost mournful. “You either have too much of it or too little. Never just enough.”

                Rey glared at him, waiting as he fell into a long spell of silence, as he seemed to weigh their options.

                “Well,” he said quietly. “Looks like it just ran out for us, then.”

                And he straightened from his defensive position, towering, pointing his wild weapon out toward her and waiting.

                She recognized the stance, realized that while it was still defensive, he would no longer wait for her once she initiated the battle. He would no longer merely parry or knock her weapon aside anymore. She could now expect a fight, one that could quite possibly cost her life. Searching his eyes, she tried to see something in them but they were blank, expressionless.

                And she nodded then, tightening her grip on the weapon before moving to strike.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Seven: **

They had danced this way before on a planet of snow and she recognized his steps now, the way he moved, how his shadow darted. They had practically taken an entire forest out in their battle and now it seemed they would quite possibly rip a cave apart.

How very them.

 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm so sorry this took so long but work has been really busy and then I just come home exhausted. In fact, at this point I'm GLAD this fic was basically finished before I started posting it. If I'd had to write this a bit at a time, it wouldn't have been done at all. I'm really sorry. I'm actually supposed to be on annual leave (vacation) next week which wasn't working so I had it moved up to THIS week and I've had to go into work yesterday and today. I have to go in tomorrow too so at this point, my only days off may be Thursday, Friday and next week Tuesday because I need to go in next Wednesday and Friday for trainings. I'm a bit irritated by that. I would LIKE to take my vacation!!
> 
> Anyhoo! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update and I can't even respond to comments from the last chapter right now! :(
> 
> But I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter Seven:**

 

                He easily swept her blade aside as she swung, drawing back slightly before countering. The red weapon threw lights across the rock wall, a mesmerizing display, as it came toward her.

                Rey dashed away, throwing herself backward and then slipping low to the side, avoiding an ensuing swing from him as he spun to follow her. They had danced this way before on a planet of snow and she recognized his steps now, the way he moved, how his shadow darted. They had practically taken an entire forest out in their battle and now it seemed they would quite possibly rip a cave apart.

                How very them.

                Stepping low, she swung her weapon at his legs as she fell to her knees. As he staggered backward, she spun fluidly along her kneecaps, swiping the lightsaber yet again as she twirled to face him once more.

                He retreated, stepping back and parrying her, his weapon following her arcs as he moved to draw out of range of her reach.

                As she lunged to her feet once more lithely, he attacked, his blade coming down overhead vertically.

                The strength behind his strike was incredible, she realized as she barely recoiled to dodge it, his lightsaber swinging down before her.

                A matter of inches and he would have split her in half.

                The flaming weapon struck the rock floor, digging into it, and he followed sinuously, his saber easily cutting the ground up as he moved. He spun as he advanced, ripping the lightsaber tip from the ground, the weapon tracing a brilliant circle of red as he sliced up and whirled, bringing it down on her once more.

                Rey stumbled backward, feeling the air as the crackling blade missed her by a hairsbreadth, and she looked over her shoulder quickly to gauge the distance between herself and the edge toward the waterfall. It crashed behind her but the sounds reverberated within the cavern, causing her to doubt the gap. She shifted backward, flinching as the knight spun yet again, moving gracefully, a perfect black shadow in the glow of their blades. He seemed to defy gravity as he jumped and then swung downward viciously, the blade a mere flash of fire, another bare miss. Landing, he whirled one last time, bringing the weapon up from the side now, swiping horizontally.

                She moved to parry it and realized she had underestimated his strength even though she had recognized it, had experienced it mere moments before and at the same time, what seemed like so long ago. His lightsaber ripped hers from her grip, flinging it aside. The blue glow vanished as the weapon hit the rock wall and fell to the floor, and she felt her heart drop out from beneath, her eyes widening as she turned back to face him.

                He seemed resistant in giving her any kind of quarter for he swung the blade across the distance between them to keep her back. Then, crouching low, he fell into a stance as he drew the red blade to his side to hover over his back leg and he came to a tempered stop, observing her intently.

                Rey backed away, watching him as he waited, and then turning her eyes to Luke’s lightsaber on the floor to her right. She had been wrong this entire time then, she thought in a moment of blind panic. She had thought she would, at _least_ , have been able to put up a fight but he didn’t even seem out of breath; almost completely unruffled. Searching his figure as she returned her attention to him, she questioned her next move. Without a weapon, she would not survive this encounter. Even in possession of a weapon, she realized she had barely stood a chance. He had spent years training, both with Luke and then with the First Order. She hadn’t stood a chance from the very beginning.

                But it didn’t mean she had to go down silently.

                Throwing a hand out to her side, she summoned Luke’s lightsaber to her hand even as she whirled back around to face the knight.

                She must have shouted her intention in her head as he had accused her of doing earlier for he was moving even as she reached for the weapon.

                He shot forward, his lightsaber swinging and knocking Luke’s aside in midflight, sending it flying out of reach.

                Rey felt a cry leave her mouth as she withdrew empty-handed, flinching from his lightsaber as he came at her once more, a lithe attack that sprang from his initial move to knock the lightsaber off its course to her. The flaming blade swung over her head as she ducked and drew in, as she scurried backward. The thrum of his weapon seemed to surround her as she withdrew, echoing beneath the crash of the falls. Whirling to look back at him, she stumbled over her own feet as she realized that he hadn’t followed up his attack, that he had straightened where she had seen him last and now seemed to wait for her.

                Blinking rapidly, she rose and stared at him in confusion.

                The knight returned her look before his dark eyes fell to the brilliant weapon in his hand, the flames burning from the crossguard vents. “Hardly a fair fight,” he said to her quietly, the glow reflected in his black pupils as he gazed at his lightsaber. And as she frowned at him, he extinguished his blade, throwing them into darkness.

                Her vision was unfocused at the sudden near blackness surrounding them. Blinking, she took another step back, looking around frantically. She couldn’t see him with his dark uniform and she struggled to adjust her vision to the dimness, searching for him in a panic. Night had fallen at last during their bout for she was left scrambling and she hesitated, her eyes darting around the blackness of the cavern, depending on the slants of moonlight coming in through the heavy waterfall to see, the beautiful blue mist.

                She wouldn’t be able to find him this way, she realized, and she stopped, drawing in and bowing her head, her eyes slipping closed.

                Senses expanding, she reached for the silvery whispers of the Force in her blood, searched blindly around her for those whispers spoke louder than anything surrounding her. Grimacing, she searched the cavern through new eyes, through her senses and thoughts, seeking him out where her human sight had failed.

                He stood directly in front of her, silent and still.

                Eyes snapping open, she found that her vision had accustomed itself and she moved to recoil as she saw his massive outline standing before her, the blue slants of light falling on his pale face and accentuating the hard lines, bringing the shadows into sharp relief. Even as she staggered backward, he reached out in one darting move, his fingers wrapping around her throat and clamping down fiercely.

                Instantly choking, she brought her hands up to his arm frantically, wrapping around his wrist. He was immense in the night as if he commanded it, as if it enveloped him and welcomed him. As if he could claim the darkness as his home. Grimacing, she struggled to breathe, almost wheezing, and she was forced to stagger backward as he took a step, as he merely stared down at her with a blank expression. If she had thought her throat raw before, now there was nothing but throbbing and agony, the muscles contracting.

                “I offered to teach you,” he said to her in a soft tone, his deep voice thrumming beneath the crash of noise surrounding them. “I saw the potential in you, saw…an _equal_ in you. A _balance_. You could have been… _extraordinary_ ,” he whispered.

                She had no breath to counter him, to even argue. Her eyes slid sideways to gauge the distance between herself and the waterfall and she wondered in that moment if this was it, if this was finally where he killed her. She loosed a muffled shriek at the thought, struggled and pulled at his fingers.

                He merely watched her, his fingers tightening.

                Her eyes shifted up to meet his and she had a fleeting moment of confusion as she realized that she saw something in them in that eternity, that she recognized the shadow in the depth of his irises.

                As if he regretted where they had ended up.

                No, she thought then, her eyes narrowing in anger. No. This was not where she would end and she would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her die.

                Growling furiously deep within herself, she felt anger become adrenaline in her body. Releasing his wrist with one hand, she curled her fingers into a fist and brought her other arm down on his wrist, bashing at it.

                His grip faltered slightly though he didn’t release her and his other hand rose as she repeated the move, as she struck his wrist once more. Even as his other arm caught her by her hair, she was moving, twisting his wrist in its weakened state off her neck and to the side, bending it painfully for him. She had used the move before on creatures that had come to take her home from her, that had come to hurt her and steal her meager belongings. She had shown them that she was not one to be trifled with and she would be damned if she had survived this entire time just to fall here and now.

                Twisting the knight’s wrist away, she growled as his other hand tightened in her hair and yanked. Forced backward at his pull, she tossed a punch out blindly, hoping to connect.

                His twisted hand tore from her grip and caught her flying fist in midflight, clamping down on the wrist tightly. And as if tossing it in her face, he wrenched her arm behind her back violently, spinning her form away from his and shoving her to her knees on the rock floor fiercely with the slightest pressure to the wrist.

                She fell hard with a grunt, grimacing from his hold and stifling a shriek as he easily switched hands to keep her trapped as his free arm now looped across her shoulder and neck, hand curling around to clutch at her hair at the nape of her neck roughly, painfully. She winced as his fingers tightened on the locks just at the root, slowly turning like a vise. Hissing, she closed her eyes as he methodically forced her to bend backward at his pull, the pain at her neck beginning to burn even as her head fell back to lessen it.

                His other hand held her wrist twisted and trapped at the base of her spine, crippling and ensnaring her in his grasp.

                Her entire body ached; from the soreness of his grip in her hair to the throbbing of her twisted arm. Opening her eyes once more, narrowing them at him as he stood bent over her, she realized that she couldn’t move. If she twitched the arm he held trapped behind her back, his grip tightened on her wrist, pressing it even more firmly into her spine and upward. If she tilted her head away from his bicep cutting into her throat, he tightened his fist to easily pull her back.

                She was caught by him, twisted into an impossible arch as he waited her out and matched her attempts to free herself. A hard growl rose inside of her, her lip curling as he applied just that small amount of pressure to silence her, to subdue her completely. Her hackles were raised by that, by his desire to conquer her, to dominate.

                Standing over her and just slightly bent to hold her in place, his dark eyes shifted and caught hers as her light glare darted to his.

                She hated him in that moment, hated that he could have a beautiful face and a black soul. His lips were a tight line and as she made a small movement to rise, his top lip curled, sneering down at her as he applied the same amount of pressure that she had, forcing her down again slowly.

                Her brow drew up as the throb increased, as she was lowered back down to her knees carefully, her lips parting around a soft hiss.

                Overhead, he waited, his massive form calm and patient, his breathing level.

                No, not level, she realized as she met his eyes again, as she hovered bent backward painfully in his hold. His grip was firm, sure. But his stare was blank, bordering on hesitation. His shoulder was pressed to her jaw, his bicep easily capable of cutting her breath off completely if he so much as flexed.

                But as her other hand lifted off the hard rock ground to clasp at his arm, she caught the way his eyes darted to her fingers as she wrapped them around his bicep, as they carefully tightened. His stare hardened, seeming to strain as they held to her tanned hand on his black uniform.

                And then his glare shifted to meet her eyes head on and she watched as he became blind, as he fell into her; as his gaze fell to her mouth and became hazy.

                Her pulse immediately quickened, catching his reaction to her, somehow sensing the shift from battle to yearning. And she would be damned if she wasn’t caught up in that whirlwind herself, in that strange rise of emotion. Her breath came faster and she swallowed shallowly as he gazed at her lips, as his own parted to mirror hers.

                There was something between them then; hovering, flickering, snapping into a hard thread of a line that anchored within each of them and linked them together.

                A moment later, she felt him all around her intensely. He was in _everything_ ; the air, the waterfall, the crash of the water below and the rumble of her pulse as it raced, her heart as it thrummed deep within. She felt her chest heave from a deep breath, felt herself quiver in his grip and scented him clearly in the dampness in the air of the cave.

                He smelled _wonderful_.

                His brow quirked, rising, as if he had heard her thoughts, had heard the very beat of her heart. And maybe he had, she thought then, her shoulders lifting as she breathed him in. Maybe he had heard all of those quiet, traitorous thoughts that she’d had of him since that evening that he had carried her to this cave, the evening that she had almost died from hypothermia-

                For she was suddenly remembering everything of that night in this moment; how she had grown so cold that she had lost consciousness at his feet. She saw everything through his eyes after she had fallen away as if they had shared one set of eyes that continuously switched owners. Her blindness as she lost consciousness only for the perspective to shift wildly to his as he had crouched and bent over her, running their shared gaze over her as alarm had risen within. How strange that she could feel his emotions as well when she was in this shared position with him, that she could feel the distress within herself as she felt it in him.

                He had brought her back to the cave, she understood, staring up at him blindly, lost in his memories. He had propped her over his shoulder and had climbed up into the blue cavern, had held her in his arms momentarily as he had searched the place that would become their shelter. _Their_ shelter, not merely his, for he had not abandoned her. Upon sensing nothing from deep within the cave, he had lowered her to the ground, snapping at her as she had whispered in his head, as she had struggled to rise out of the fogginess of unconsciousness. There was the hint of apprehension running beneath the methodical words in his head as he had observed her again, taken in her shivering, the gray tint to her lips. He had stripped her of the torn flight suit and she remembered how rough he had been for she had felt as if her skin was tearing, breaking open. Seeing it all now through his eyes, she realized that he had actually not been rough with her though he had been hasty. He had taken care in ridding her of her flight suit, in stripping her of her beige and white uniform beneath. He had momentarily been taken by her skin and body once he had stripped her naked but it had been a fleeting thing, a swift thought that had left him as he had removed his hooded shawl and wrapped her up in it tightly. Then he had quickly returned to the mouth of the cave, searching the forests quickly for bits and pieces of branch and tree trunk, wood that he could set immediately to burn to restore heat to her. How easily he had known to do all of these things and how quickly he had accomplished it for her.

                Did he remember everything then? She frowned slightly as she searched his dark eyes, as she struggled to _see_.

                He certainly remembered how she had clung to him during that night better than she did; she had been hazy and practically unconscious when she had reached for him, when he had carefully and then temptingly wrapped his nude form around her like a blanket to bring her back to a normal body temperature. Even though she had still stood as his enemy, his rival, he had done these things for her. But in that pink haze, she had touched him and had wanted more, had trailed half numb fingertips over his hot skin and along the span of his scars and welts; had curled her body into his and molded herself into him, had almost begged for him to possess her in her fogginess.

                She remembered then, even more clearly than before when she had reached for vague memories, how she had pulled at him and indulged in him, how she had wanted him and had lifted her lips to his, had brushed them across his carefully, longingly.

                And she remembered how he had responded to her now that they seemed to share thoughts and visions; even though she had felt what she now realized had been his hardness along her thigh and hip, his sudden and unbidden desire for her, he had lifted fingers to her mouth to separate them, to hold her away from him. And when she had persisted, she remembered in that moment how he had returned her kiss; light, almost airy. Effervescent in the darkness behind her closed eyelids. Pure. Longingly.

                She lifted her eyes now to meet his in the darkness of the cave, the eerie blue light from the moon behind the waterfall. Even then, the cascading water threw such jumping lights and silhouettes against the cave walls, tossed a shimmering light across his cheek and lips, accentuating them, bringing the deep scarred line on his face into sharp relief. Her stare fell from it to his mouth, flickering over the fullness of his lips and remembering when he had pressed them to hers with the heat of the fire at her back. How she had felt the restraint from him, how he had allowed himself the smallest taste of her that night.

                Her eyelashes fluttered as she inhaled deeply, as she breathed heavily.

                _Taste me now._

                He blinked as if she had spoken the words aloud, as if he had heard them somewhere inside his head. And maybe he had, she realized a second later as their shared gaze held, as his fingers loosened the smallest bit from the vise of a grip that he had on her. Perhaps this strange Force connection that they had between them was natural, normal amongst Force Sensitives. She had only just begun to really learn about her abilities, to train in them. Would she be able to experience this strange thread of a connection between other Force Sensitives if she encountered them? Perhaps one day, if she survived this night and managed to make it off this uncharted planet, she would walk across the dunes of Tatooine and come across another Force Sensitive and experience this connection again, however remotely-

                _No._

                The answer came harshly in her head as if spoken aloud and she snapped back to herself, focusing on Kylo Ren once more where he stood over her, trapping her beneath him.

                _No_ , came the answer to her question again, and the response was angry now. Possessive. She stared at him with wide eyes, her brow drawing low in confusion, in haziness.

                Why couldn’t she share this experience with other Force Sensitives? Why couldn’t she seek out more like herself-

                _No_ , came the response again and now it was a defining force, a raging sweep of pure anger, of selfishness. Of obsession.  

                She swallowed once more as she gathered what the negative response meant, what the heavy emotions surrounding them required of her. What _he_ required of her.

                He required her completely; complete agreement, complete submission. She belonged to him, she understood then as she heaved in his arms and his grip, as she was held captive by his hard stare. This strange bond that they shared between the two of them would never be shared with anyone else, not the way it connected them, the way it tethered them to each other. And as she stared at him, as he tilted his head, his eyes softening, she understood. Never again would there be another for her as him, for him as her. This connection was rare and they had forged it between the two of them somehow, one day a year ago in a snowy battlefield that had left him almost mortally wounded and had forced her to flee in the flurries.

                There would never be anyone else.

                _You belong to **me**._

                She fell loosely in his arms then, no longer bothering to fight. Her shoulders slackened under his tight arm, her hand hanging limply from his hard bicep still. The arm he held twisted behind her back also fell wearily and her torso settled weakly on her knees as she succumbed to his hold on her, as she gave up, her eyes meeting his once more.

                And she saw the exact moment that he gave himself over to her as well, that he accepted her surrender and gave her his in return.

                With the slightest intake of breath beforehand, he bent toward her and met his mouth to hers.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Eight: **

And she had shown them. She had made them see that she was not one to be trifled with, was _not_ weak, and could defend herself from whatever threat came.

Until it had been _him_.

 


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, guys. I'm going away for the weekend and probably finishing up my vacation the literal day I get back. So I need to update now because this chapter is smutty and you guys will love it and hate me and it will be another awesome day in my life! 
> 
> I love you guys so much. Seriously. You will hate me and love me and you can't stop meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
> 
> Have an awesome Memorial Day holiday, guys!!

**Chapter Eight:**

 

                The compulsion to give herself over to him was instinctive as if her body and entire self had been primed for him, had been awaiting him to come and take her. She bent her head back, finding his forearm behind her and not understanding, not remembering why it was there in that moment, but relishing its presence for she used it as a cushion as he followed her. His lips slipped from hers as she settled back wearily on his arm but then he claimed her kiss once more, groaning into her mouth as he broke away and then came back at her harder, forcefully.

                Her lips parted beneath his and then his tongue met hers and she loosed a helpless, muffled cry; trapped in his hold but feeling herself reach for him, slowly falling apart under him. With her hand twisted behind her back and his other arm wrapped tightly around her shoulder and throat, she still felt her legs break apart beneath her hovering form, her hips and pelvis suddenly arching and aching in need. Her hand left his bicep and slipped upward, trailing across his arm and shoulder to reach across the nape of his neck and into the very roots of his black waves.

                His hair was just as she had imagined it and she hated herself in that moment, hated that she almost loved how his locks felt in her hand, falling across her fingers as she loosened them and then clenched them around his waves. She wanted to hold him the way he held her, just as tightly, just as painfully. Even then, his hand was clawed into a fist, clutching her hair in between those fingers.

                Did she _like_ force and strength-

                Her inward question was cut off but answered as he reciprocated, as his grip on her tightened, as his mouth hardened on hers, his tongue sweeping hers possessively.

                As she found herself liking how brutal he was, how he almost seemed wild.

                But she could be just as feral, she decided. He had already seen that side of her in their previous fights, in the way she had given as good as she’d gotten from him. She wanted to show him now just how hard she could be as well.

                Yanking at his hair with one good pull, she felt a small spark of satisfaction as his head was lifted, his lips hovering over hers now. She felt the hiss he exhaled across her mouth, licked the dampness he had left on her bottom lip and whispered, “Let go of me.”

                Cockiness crossed his scarred face, an eyebrow arching at her command. “Why would I do that, scavenger?” he inquired softly, his deep voice humming through her, down to the very heart of her.

                She dropped her gaze to his lips, wanting them again, feeling his voice set off an intense heat deep inside of her. But staring at him from so close made her foggy, ruined her concentration. “Because then I can touch you,” she murmured, and she lifted her eyes to meet his again.

                A hint of a frown crossed his brow, there for a moment and then gone, returning his expression to blankness.

                But she had caught it, had seen the interest flare momentarily and mix with distrust in his stare. It remained there still as her eyes darted from one dark iris to the other.

                “Why would I want that?” he asked her quietly, tilting his head questioningly. He attempted aloofness but he had given himself away already and Rey saw her victory then, reached for it almost greedily.

                “Because you want _me_ ,” she said and she lifted her head from his forearm, wincing slightly when his fist in her hair remained steadfast. But she had enough reach to brush her bottom lip across his, to feel his shaky exhalation along it. “Let go of me,” she whispered again, her command quiet but firm.

                He laughed faintly, a new sound to her ears for he had never shown her anything except cold, hard hostility. Even if he had laughed before, it hadn’t been full of actual lightness.

                She frowned at him, confusion trickling into her eyes.

                He seemed to understand. “Your Jedi mind tricks won’t work on me,” he said to her quietly and he seemed almost apologetic then, disillusioned somehow. As if he had wanted to fall under her spell, had wanted to be led astray. “We can affect each other only so much-”

                She understood then as well. “It’s not a trick,” she whispered with a tiny shake of her head, grimacing when his grip on her hair kept her in place, when her arm behind her back was twisted just the slightest bit more. “But if you want to stay like this for the rest of our short, pitiful time here then don’t listen to me.” And she shrugged a shoulder, her eyes becoming hooded. “After all…it’s just us now,” she said quietly.

                He recognized the words immediately, his eyes darting to her lips as if to verify that they had spilled from them. And once his stare was on her lips, she knew she had won. His gaze became distant, fixed to a far off point that she couldn’t see but could understand, for she had also become lost in his mouth only moments before.

                Her hand in his hair loosened and she closed her eyes, leaning her head close and breathing him in deeply, her lips brushing his as she spoke. “Let go of me,” she murmured again and this time there was an ache in her tone, a soft plea in her request. A longing that she knew they both shared. “Let go of me-”

                His mouth was on hers once more a second later and his arm became rigid, his bicep cutting into her throat momentarily before he loosened his grip on her hair, before he released the arm he had trapped behind her back.

                Rey’s body came free in his arms and she sighed into him, returning his kiss and then rising onto her knees to meet him, to deepen the kiss, her lips parting beneath his. She turned her body into his, shook out her sore arm momentarily before lifting that hand to his face and clutching at him, holding him tightly to her mouth as she met his tongue with hers.

                His hand in her hair slipped free of her locks only for a moment before his palm dropped to cup the nape of her neck, to trail into her hair gently now, long fingers spreading wide along her scalp and pulling her mouth to his, capturing her head and holding her to him fiercely.

                She had never been held like this, she realized dimly, breaking his kiss to breathe before returning, before needing more of him. There had been scares on Jakku, masculine and massive creatures that had stumbled upon her home in the downed AT-AT and had become threats, had wanted to steal her dwelling from her and possibly done even more harm to her. And she had also encountered such animals when she had traveled to the Niima Outpost to give in her spoils from scavenging. They had converged on her, had expected her to be frail. Weak.

                And she had shown them. She had made them see that she was not one to be trifled with, was _not_ weak, and could defend herself from whatever threat came.

                Until it had been _him_.

                And now she didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to be a willing participant, how to give herself over freely to something that she did not understand. She only knew what her body wanted, what her lips sought, what her breasts ached for somehow.

                What she needed between her thighs.

                And she also didn’t know what would happen if she denied him. Would he become aggressive and take what he wanted from her anyway, force himself upon her? Would he be that threat that she had always been able to overpower only to fail when she needed to overcome the most? She had always been able to fight intruders off but he was so much more. As a Force Sensitive, he could actually _hurt_ her. His own inherently physical strength and mass would be a challenge to anyone, but his abilities, his knowledge and training of the Force-

                He could do anything he wanted to her and she wouldn’t be able to stop him.

                He groaned into her mouth, tongue slipping across hers, and his other hand slid down her body, fingers tightening on her. “No-” He whispered and he exhaled again as she closed the kiss, as she parted from him to breathe him in, her chest rising into his as they were pulled together again in a rush of heat and desire. His voice came low, deep, desperate. “I’m not…I-”

                Rey’s hands tightened on his face and hair, urging him down toward her. He was bent over her but she could almost feel the strain of hovering, of not having a solid platform to rest on.

                He dropped to his knees a second later at her silent command, meeting her and falling within reach at last. She pulled him into her, straightening against his hard chest and torso, lifting enough to moan into his mouth as he slumped against her weakly.

                Then his arms were dragging her close and onto his hard body, half lifting her off her knees. She still clutched him by the face and hair, fingers tangling and gripping, pulling yearningly as she kissed him, as she dragged a thumb across the scar on his face.

                He sighed as he carried her weight onto him, as he embraced her carefully to his chest and supported her, desired her. Her knees carried her along onto his lap and she made a small sound, reaching, molding herself as she parted her legs to welcome him between them. She found herself seated on his hard thighs, straddling him, and she became very aware of his hardness below, just at the apex of her thighs.

                Exactly where she needed to feel him.

                He pulsed his pelvis into hers, his hands dropping to her hips to hold her tightly against him, to mold her to him as he shifted. The cave behind the waterfall was suddenly too warm even without a flame to brighten the cavern, to throw their joint shadows into the wall. But as Rey straightened against him once more, as she rose and then curved under his embrace, pressed her hips to his hardness below, she felt then that the blue darkness and the gray rock walls were a suitable home for them, for their coupling.

                For their illicit affair.

                Her words seemed to echo between them, in her head and then in his, for he hesitated against her lips, pausing.

                She didn’t want that then, not when she needed more of him, more of this forbidden fruit. She slid along his thighs and leaned backward slightly, focusing on the ache at her center, on his hardness as it met the sway of her hips.

                He dipped to meet her mouth still, his hands clenching on her waist to drag her onto him roughly, to pulse against her, to thrust desperately. Achingly. To make the connection they both wanted even when they knew it was prohibited.

                The Light side could never tangle with the Dark.

                But he made it difficult to fight when his tongue swept hers, when his mouth slid across hers in desire, when he forced her center down on his hardness and made her want all of him in any way that he would give himself to her, in any way that he would want her.

                A breath slipped from him, yearning, weak, as she pressed herself to him, as she rolled her hips along his lap. She could very well kill them both in desire and she felt then that he wouldn’t even put up a fight on the way down into that deep, dark abyss. Her lips broke from his at the image she suddenly saw, at the vision of tangled sweaty limbs and thrusting hips, at the whisper of his thoughts in her head that became groans and then demands, pleas. They were a comforting murmur in the darkness, arousing, a low vibration running beneath the current of her blood, her heartbeat. She broke the kiss and threw her head back, lips parting, hair slipping loose down her back and floating in the blue shimmer behind the waterfall.

                His mouth slid over the slope of her chin and down the length of her neck to the very center of her throat where her collarbones met, his tongue slipping into that dip to taste her, to devour her. His hands rose from her hips up along her back, fingers spreading wide to grasp her completely, to hold her as she sighed, as her shoulders fell weakly under his caress. Her hips moved mindlessly, her eyes squeezing shut, and she hovered limply in his arms, allowing him to do whatever he wanted to do to her so long as he didn’t stop; his mouth, his tongue, his hard arms supporting her on either side, fingers clawed into her back and shoulders. She breathed heavily in his arms, her chest lifting into his, her skin tingling under his lips and tongue as he slipped low, as he closed his mouth along her skin and sucked.

                She would bruise, she thought dimly, her fingers slipping through his hair and gripping, her hips sliding back up on him to rub against his perfect hardness, to curl with a primal urge. He would leave her black, blue, and purple and she would remember it fondly, she realized with a slow exhalation, with a sigh.

                One of his hands slipped from her back to pull at the clasps of the flight suit at her neck and spine, to undo them almost hastily. He lifted his mouth away from her collar, his chest rising and falling roughly as he fought with the clasps and then began to pull the suit free of her shoulders, of her arms as it loosened. She righted herself, breathing hard through parted lips, urging him on, faster, curling her hand into his hair and gripping his black locks fiercely in anticipation.

                He did not leave her waiting as he dragged the edges of the flight suit top down, as he yanked it almost angrily and forced her hands from him just so she could disentangle her hands and arms from the sleeves. And without hesitation, as she was bared to him, he bent his head and opened his mouth to her breast, closing his lips around a nipple and running his tongue over it hungrily.

                A curse rose in her head, in her throat, and she let it loose as she clutched him close to her again, as she lifted her other hand to his shoulder and pushed her center into his hardness roughly.

                Stars, she wanted him almost desperately then, achingly. She wanted him to lift her and take her to the hard rock ground, wanted him to drag her suit off the rest of her body and his suit off his as well, to give himself over to her entirely. She wanted to feel his scars under her palms once more, wanted to run fingers over the cuts of his muscles, over the smooth skin and hard planes of his broad body. She wanted to be conquered by him fully and completely, to crumble under his weight and to call his name out in the blue cavern, call his name out into an unknown planet where no one could hear her and no one could understand just how wrong their coupling was, how illicit their joining could be.

                His teeth nipped at her, biting down gently and roughly at the same time, bringing her back to the man in her arms. She lowered her head down to his temple, her lips parting in a moan as she clutched him to her breast, as she rode his lap and dragged her fingers through his hair wantonly.

                He was hard in her embrace, his hands clawing into her spine and shoulders almost painfully, such a reach that his fingers could envelop a large amount of her back, could almost circle her entire waist and clamp down, claim her.

                Own her.

                Words came from her mouth, unintelligible, a moan and a cry, a keening breath. She didn’t know what she felt, what she could take. If she had thought before that she could take him over her, could bear his weight and feel him between her thighs, she now thought that maybe she had been wrong.

                He could easily bring her to such heights and then break her.

                Just as she could do to him, she realized a moment later as his thoughts floated in her head, as she heard him deep within as if he were the blood rushing in her veins.

                She could easily dismantle him and destroy him, could break him apart as well, leaving him in pieces.

                He seemed to hear her words and then disregard them in heat, his hands tightening on her back, fingers clawing into her tender skin as he laved her breast hungrily, as he breathed and groaned faintly along her skin desperately. And just as she was sure that she couldn’t take any more of his touch, of the sensations he stirred in her, he rose off his heels onto his knees.

                She slid back off his thighs, away from his hardness, and the absence of him was suddenly more than she could bear. She was lowered to her knees with a pleading moan and she immediately rose on them, reaching for him, pulling greedily at his shoulders, his hair.

                He made a small sound beneath her lips, his form hardening, his hands becoming tight on her, almost shaking with his strength. But as she reached blindly, he seemed to know what he wanted, what to do.

                His hand took hold of her thigh, the other wrapping around her back and hefting her up along his frame momentarily. Then he was tipping her backward, laying her out across the cold ground easily, gently.

                Her hands loosened from his shoulders but didn’t release him, barely uncurled long enough for him to let go of her body, to lower himself between her thighs and settle on her heavily.

                He was just as she had imagined, she realized almost painfully, and she lifted her lips to his as he ducked his head low, as he met her halfway with a sigh that sounded almost relieved. She released the same sound into him, breathing him in deeply in the midst of their kiss, sliding her hand from his shoulder to grasp his face and clutch at him weakly. He made her feel things that she had never felt before; the lightness of butterflies in her chest and stomach, a soft and strange tingling as his fingers drifted lightly from her waist and thigh to skim her belly, to trail over the edge of the flight suit to her bared breast. The heat of him and the weight of his large body as he pinned her beneath him made her feel somehow safe, protected, when only moments ago she had worried that he would use his mass and size to overpower her, to take things from her that were only to be given freely.

                She felt him soften even more, realized that he had lifted her thoughts from her, and his touch reflected his urge to comfort her.

                Which confused her when she remembered who he was.

                “Wait,” she whispered as she broke from his mouth for a moment, as she lowered it away from his though she pressed her forehead to his as she breathed, as she fought to compose herself. “Wait.”

                He paused over her, his lips tightening into a hard line as he also respired deeply, as his fingers slowed along her bared skin, as he lifted his body from hers marginally, his other hand fisting into the hard rock at her side.

                Rey shook her head, her eyes shutting tightly. “I don’t…I…”

                He remained silent, a slight tremor rippling through him at her hesitation, and he swallowed. His lips parted, a short exhalation falling loose and he waited, his shoulders seeming to quiver as she trailed her hands away from his face, down his neck helplessly. She suddenly didn’t know what to do with her hands, didn’t know where to put them, where to let them roam. Not when it came to him and not when it came to his strength and his abilities.

                Not with him.

                She was suddenly moving, releasing him and scooting away as if he were a fire that had burned her fingers, shifting from beneath his massive form.

                As if sensing her swift panic, he rose away from her scampering form, lifting from the cave floor and slowly settling back on his knees, hands clenching into fists at his sides.

                Rey sat up, dragging her form backward clumsily, a hand lifting to hide herself away from his eyes before she merely dragged the flight suit back over her breasts and shoulders, leaving it unclasped at her back.

                The knight grimaced slightly as he watched her compose herself, his face tightening.

                Finally dressed once more, Rey hunched in momentarily before she suddenly sprang to her feet. Even then, her legs quaked beneath her and she staggered backward away from him, her hands crossed over her top as she backed away. The flight suit waved open at the nape of her neck but as long as she was modestly covered, she barely paid it any attention.

                The knight merely waited, his dark eyes lifting to her in the cool blue of the evening, in the gray moonlight filtering in through the crashing waterfall nearby.

                “I…” she whispered again, her words leaving her, her entire body and mind confused as to what she wanted to say to him.

                Did she want to apologize? No, of course not. He was not her friend, he was not her ally. Especially not on this cold, uncharted planet. She didn’t know what they were to each other then; not friends but also not enemies. He seemed to barely be able to stomach her, his moods shifting mercurially like light reflecting off glass. How was she to know what side of him she would encounter today, tomorrow, any day ahead, when he had shown himself to be malicious and brutal from the start?

                She stared at his kneeling form in the gray flickering shadows, uncertain what to feel about him.

                “Just go,” he said then, his deep voice rumbling low beneath the fury of the waterfall.

                Rey blinked as if she hadn’t heard him correctly. “Go?” she asked him warily.

                The knight inhaled deeply and then sighed, his breath leaving him loudly despite the falling water hiding them away. “Just go, Rey,” he repeated wearily and his head bowed, thick hair falling around his temples and cheeks.

                Rey looked toward the cave openings bordering the falling water, to the black realm visible outside. She knew a lush world waited there and they had yet to see any type of large, malicious creatures on this planet. But she had nothing to protect her outside of this cave that the knight now seemed to own. She had no shelter, nothing to live on. She would have to survive outside of this place that now felt slightly like a sanctuary, especially with him here as a guide, or at the very least as a companion on this alien world.

                How would she survive out there?

                “I don’t…” she whispered hazily, her brow drawing in. This planet was different from Jakku. She hadn’t always been guaranteed a meal and the most she had gone without had been almost two whole days. But she had always been prepared for when she had fallen on hard times.

                These weren’t hard times. These were times of survival.

                “I don’t know how to-”

                The knight darted to his feet, suddenly looming over her as he flew forward to invade her space. “Get out,” he ordered her hoarsely, his shoulders heaving, his pale face pinched in the blue coldness of the cavern.

                She recoiled slightly, blinking at him with wide eyes. Her lips parted, her jaw falling open as she suddenly fought to find words for him. His breadth and electricity always stole her words and her breath away though and she was left then to merely stare at him in startled confusion. “But I don’t know how to survive out there in this sort of terrain. I don’t know how-”

                “You have to go,” he said roughly and his eyes slid shut tightly, his shoulders rising and falling sharply with each heavy breath.

                Rey shook her head in confusion at him. “But why?” she asked him. “The cave is big enough for the both of us. Neither of us knows what kind of beasts are wandering around in this area, and you have all the rations. Including mine, stolen from the X-wing! So just let me-”

                He exhaled deeply, a long drawn out breath. “If you stay here, I will want you. I will want more from you than you are willing to give.” He shook his head at her curtly, a hard motion. “I can smell you constantly, in the air, on a breeze, and I _want_ you, I want...” He grimaced, eyes still shut to hide her from his sight. “I can hear your voice in my head and it’s too much right now. Every time. _All_ the time. I need you to be far away from me right now which means you need to leave.”

                Rey blinked at him, struck dumb. Here, the entire time, she had thought she had been the only one feeling anything and now, to hear from him that he, _also_ , was affected by her-

                She honestly didn’t even know how to react to that, what to even think.

                “And if I don’t go?” she asked him softly, lifting her chin and staring at him head on. “If I stay here with you, what will you-”

                His hands streaked up and grasped her face, dragging her forward until she met his lips. And then it was a strange and beautiful ride once more as he pressed his lips to hers, as he pried hers apart to meet her tongue with his, a moan sliding free at the tender touch before he ended the kiss reluctantly. “Then we can either fight to the death or you can surrender to me,” he murmured against her lips, his warm breath hovering over her skin. “There is no middle ground here for us.” And he dragged his mouth along hers, tasting her gently just as she had asked of him moments before, tantalizingly. “It isn’t how we were made. It isn’t in us to exist together.”

                Rey wanted to recoil from him then, from his words. But why not? And maybe he meant to coexist because of the sides they had sworn their allegiances to. But in that moment, on this planet, why couldn’t they just put all of that aside and survive until they were found, if they were _ever_ found? If they were never to be found, then she would never hear from the Resistance again, just as he would never have the First Order to return to, to bow down before as their Black Knight.

                She swallowed faintly as he slowed along her skin, as his thumbs tracked back and forth along her jaw almost absentmindedly. And her eyes slipped closed at his unknowing caress, suspended between his hands and his lips, surrounded by his warm breath in the cool air surrounding them as his eyes came open to gaze at her from so close.

                “I will go tomorrow then,” she said to him quietly. And as he inhaled sharply, she lifted her hands to clutch at his wrists, to squeeze them within her smaller grasp. Everything about him was large, even his wrists. He made her feel positively tiny even though she had never considered herself a small person. “But I need to stay here tonight.”

                He tilted his head at her words, hesitating for a moment before he seemed to understand what she was asking of him.

                Nonetheless, she felt the need to explain, to voice the words between them, to speak them into the darkening night beyond the waterfall. “I don’t know what is out there and I won’t learn in the middle of the night. I need daylight to figure out at least some of it.”

                The knight remained silent, hovering before her, caught in her grip. Then he exhaled and his hands loosened from her face, pulling away and leaving her skin to cool without his touch. His head lifted away from hers as well and he was left standing much too close still but now caught by her.

                Rey quickly released him, blinking in surprise that she had kept him even for a moment. But she didn’t move away from him and when he didn’t distance himself either except to lower his hands at his sides, she felt then that they were at a standstill.

                Yet one more between them.

                Kylo Ren sighed wearily, turning his head to look toward the waterfall. Then with a definitive nod, one hard gesture, he said, “Tomorrow, then. In the daylight I will show you how to survive out there, what to look for. We can do it together. Those rations and emergency items won’t last us forever as it is.” A muscle clicked in his jaw as he clenched it, as he made a decision that she realized he would keep if it came down to it. “You find somewhere else to sleep, though, after tonight. You don’t stay here. Not with me.”

                Rey felt her chest grow cold at his words, a sensation that she didn’t fully recognize. But when he turned his head to look at her once more, dark eyes in the blue glow, she nodded. “I understand,” she whispered.

                He nodded as well, his eyes dropping to her lips for a long moment. “I can help you with that also if you wish.”

                Then he spun away from her and stalked toward his hooded wrap with the rest of his clothes and items, picking up his lightsaber hilt with its crossguard along the way where he had seemingly deposited it earlier during their battle. Lifting the piece of clothing from the rock floor, he shook it out and then turned to face her, to look at her critically as he examined the rips and tears in her flight suit, the clasps hanging open and leaving her back bare to the cold and wind of the waterfall at her back. “The other flight suit is in its emergency container still.” He nodded further into the cavern where the rations, packs, and emergency items were piled up. “Change if you need to. Use this for the cold.” And he tossed his hood at her, already turning away without looking to see if she caught it.

                She did catch it, feeling the material smack against her chest, her arms coming up to clutch at it. Frowning, she followed his figure with her eyes as he straightened and then looked into the cave beyond, into the darkness. He lifted a hand as he stared and a matter of moments later he motioned, palm turning upward and fingers curling back in as if to beckon someone close.

                Blocks of wood came floating out from deeper within the cavern, and he gestured them gracefully into the center pile of blackened rocks and ash, dropping them in.

                She watched him, curious, and she took a step to come closer.

                As he watched the blocks of wood settle within the circle of stones, he murmured distractedly, “You have very little control of your abilities, of the Force.”

                Rey’s eyes darted to him, haughtiness rising deep within. “I have some control,” she stated to him. “I put up a fight, didn’t I?”

                His eyes flickered upward momentarily before dropping back to the pile in the jumping blue light. “I suppose, if that’s what you want to call it,” he replied flippantly, and he lifted his hand to the pile of wood and snapped his fingers.

                A flame sprang to life deep within the mound, lighting along one piece and trembling.

                Turning his palm slightly, the knight made a small beckoning gesture, fingers urging it along.

                The flame brightened as Rey watched, grew in height and heat, and then it shifted along the piece and caught to another, flickering over to a third. Within moments, as the knight continued to beckon, the flames had spread and claimed almost all of the wood pieces in the pile.

                Rey’s eyes darted to him as he dropped his hand away, as he merely watched the flames for a long moment, his dark eyes reflecting the glow. The silence was heavy between them then, the only sound that of the licking flames, the faint crackling and popping.

                He was beautiful in the firelight, she reflected, before she dropped her eyes away from him to his tattered hood in her arms.

                She was struck with a vision then. No, more than a vision. An image that dragged smell and sensation with it; a hand wrapped tightly around her waist, a hard body with smooth skin over muscle, the raised skin of scars as she had trailed fingertips over them.

                Her eyes darted back to him, roamed down his entire clothed form before shooting back up.

                A vision of the night he had carried her freezing form to this cavern, except this time the memories were all hers. She had woken up that morning resting on _this_ hood and he had been half nude as he had gazed out from behind the waterfall into the rainy world beyond.

                The way she had reached for the person embracing her, how she had kissed him; how he had attempted to stop her before finally returning the lightest of kisses to her when she had wanted more.

                This man here had gone further with her since then, she realized, and she had wanted every moment of it until she had remembered her place in all of this.

                Her eyes slid down once more, blindly now, as she thought of it yet again, as she understood that she desired him.

                _Him_.

                Turning away abruptly, he stormed toward the emergency case of rations and crouched, digging through it. Pulling something out from the mass of packs, he shut the case and rose back to his feet. Returning to the licking flames, he faced her from its opposite side, his long face falling back into its usual blank expression, the fire throwing light along his scar and illuminating it. He tossed what he held at her and the item flew over the flames, also landing against her chest as she scrambled to catch it.

                Dry food. Rations.

                She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until then. She looked at the rations before looking back up at him questioningly.

                “You leave in the morning,” he stated once more and then he turned away, reaching to undress.

                Her hunger was forgotten as she watched him undo the clasps of his own flight suit and then peel the top half from his body until it hung from his waist and left him half nude. Just as he had left her mere moments before. He was pale-skinned in natural light but here, with the glow of the flames kissing his flesh, he was painted in warm tones, the radiance flicking across solid muscle and jutting bone edges. He shifted off to pick up a pile of clothes, his usual layered uniform in the heap, and returned to the edge of the fire where he plopped the stack down. Then he crouched to the rock floor and stretched out on his back, using the mound of discarded clothes as a pillow for his head.

                Readjusting it a bit to make himself more comfortable, his eyes shifted toward her as he settled. “Are you going to stand there all night? Keep an eye on me in case I make a move to finally kill you?”

                This had been a mistake, she thought a second later, suddenly clutching at his hood and the rations with a tightening grip. She had made a mistake asking to stay in the cave with him for the night. With _him_. What had she been thinking? She would probably have a better chance of survival out in that cold night than here with this Knight of the First Order. She swallowed uncomfortably, her gaze slipping down his scarred face to trail over his formidable form before returning to meet his eyes.

                Just because they had been entangled mere moments before, it did not mean that he wouldn’t still wish to kill her in the end. Nor did it mean that she could feel safe around him, especially as it was just the two of them here on this lonely, uncharted planet. They had yet to even see any type of beasts or monsters, animals bigger than small, colorful insects or furry creatures that scattered when they were sighted or approached.

                But she was a fool if she thought that his hands on her and his mouth on her body weren’t pretty convincing in managing to attract her to him, to have her reach for him in complete and utter blind desire.

                And here she had always thought that she’d had such a cool head.

                What a mess she became around him, she realized. She didn’t even know how it had actually happened, when she had actually tumbled off that cliff into the void.

                He snorted at her, his gaze slipping away from her as she merely continued to eye him. “Don’t worry, scavenger. I won’t kill you just yet. What fun would I have here if I did?”

                Rey stared at him in complete silence for several seconds.

                Is that what this was to him? Fun? She blinked and finally lowered her gaze away, looked at the hood in her hand, the dry ration pack in her palm.

                She wasn’t going to do this. He could be as arrogant as he wanted in his belief that she needed him to survive here. But if this was to be how he would be, then she would handle it herself. She wouldn’t stay here in this cave, in the warmth of the fire. He was not entitled to her part of the rations or her extra flight suit.  

                And he definitely was not entitled to any part of her.

                Lifting her head, her jaw tightening, she flung his tattered hood at him in one balled up throw.

                He caught it easily against his stomach though she relished the look of surprise that crossed his face. Turning her head, she stormed over to the pile of emergency items and took hold of the X-wing packs, dragging the cases forth from under the First Order items, and she stood with them angrily.

                The knight merely watched her though he did sit up quickly to do so.

                Without another word, she marched across the cave, past the fire and his broad figure watching her silently, and paused only long enough to stoop and retrieve Luke’s lightsaber. It belonged with her, not with the Jedi’s ruthless nephew. And as she reached the mouth of the cave, he called out to her.

                “You won’t survive out there on your own,” he stated.

                She was far more surprised that he didn’t try to stop her leaving with her own possessions. But she stopped only for a moment, turning her head yet not looking at him. “I would rather risk it out there with the unknown than in here with you,” she snapped at him and she looked ahead once more, striding on. Clutching the cases and spare items close to her chest with one arm, she swung herself out onto the ledges of steps leading down to the ground below and disappeared into the night.

                He did not follow though she felt his persistent ghost hovering just within her head for the night.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Nine: **

They were not friends. She was surprised he had even allowed her to live thus far.

 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Kind of a crappy day so I'm just going to update and then shower and crash.
> 
> I hope everyone had a great holiday though! Please enjoy this next chapter!

**Chapter Nine:**

 

                With all of the items that rightfully belonged to her, Rey wandered deep into the woods and searched about in the darkness. She did not recognize the greenery here, the herbs and flowers, the gnarled vegetation. She didn’t understand any of these things as she only knew limitless sand and parching heat from her own home planet. The small amount of time that she had spent on Takodana in that short visit with Han Solo, and the green landscape where the Resistance base had previously been situated, had not prepared her to survive on a flowering planet. She knew nothing besides the burning sand and desperation. As such, she ripped into the pack of rations that the knight had tossed at her and looked around at the area where she had chosen to settle down in utter confusion.

                The trees overhead gave enough cover that she could rest on dry ground, the last night’s rain having either dried up or not even reached this section of the wood. Crouching, she checked to make sure she still had enough items for another day of bathing and cleansing; three quarters of a vial of liquid soap, a couple of vials of hair wash, a small tube to cleanse her mouth with along with a miniature toothbrush. Good for another day, maybe more. She just needed to keep herself warm enough for the night and then she would worry about tomorrow.

                Setting all of her items down and then packing them together and resting them against a tall, towering tree, she moved deeper into the forests, searching for branches and threads of leaves and foliage. The ground was cold and the chill would seep into her skin and bones in the night if she rested directly on it. Dragging sprigs of leaves and herbs from the ground and off looming trees, she spread them out to provide a layer off the cold ground. Padding it with several coatings of moss, leaves, and shrubbery, she attempted to stretch out along the thick surface, dragging her additional clothes over her, damp as they were from the consistent light spray from the waterfall when she had set them to dry. Tomorrow, in the sunlight, she would search out a new place to reside in, to make a sheltered home for herself; perhaps another cavern somewhere on this uncharted planet. Just because she was stranded with the knight, and somehow inextricably linked with him now, it didn’t mean that she needed to spend all of her remaining time and days with him.

                They were not friends. She was surprised he had even allowed her to live thus far.

                She would also need to try to wash her uniforms out at some point. She just didn’t know what to use to do so; she didn’t want to use any of the body or hair washes for it as she was in such low supply.

                Fact of the matter was that she didn’t think she would actually be able to _survive_ as she had up until now after leaving Jakku; not as comfortably, not as _luxuriously_ , which was strange to admit to when she had spent such an immense amount of her life persisting on a desert planet. The Resistance had spoiled her, she realized, and she felt her brow draw in painfully at the thought.

                But that was a matter for the next day and she drew herself in, burrowing under the layers of clothes and uniforms she had covered her body with, settling in to sleep.

 

                She had very little rest as she shivered throughout the night. The temperature dropped much too low for her to deal with and she promised herself that by the end of the following day, she would have an enclosed area for herself the way the knight did. She would have to do some things physically, manually, but she would survive. She would not need to depend on him. Once the rations were gone, she would fish for food in the waters if there was any to be found, or she would learn to stalk small creatures and wildlife on this unknown planet, would learn how to start fires with her handle on the Force; if not, twigs could work wonders as well. On Jakku, she had earned her wages for food through her scavenging; she had never needed to physically hunt anything for sustenance. It did not mean that she couldn’t; only that she had never depended on it to live. She would just have to make it work as she always had.

                Rising, she gathered her items and then moved toward the nearest stream of running water, bending to brush her teeth and refilling small canisters with potable water. She didn’t know how far she would have to walk but she wanted to be able to find her way back to this stream if she needed to for she knew she would be able to survive off this drinkable water here.

                Moving to head back to her pile of items, she stumbled as she saw the tall and dark form of the Master of the Knights of Ren waiting for her by her property. It didn’t seem as if he had disturbed anything from where he leaned against the trunk of the tree she had slept beside overnight. Her items were still piled up where she had left them, the lightsaber peeking out of it. His eyes were skimming over the pile blankly, arms crossed over his chest as she recognized him. Straightening as she returned to the small clearing, her face fell into stoniness. “What do you want?” she demanded of him, the canisters hanging from her fingers tensely.

                He did not wear his original uniform but one of the TIE flight suits, his helmet absent. The material was tight on his form and he was striking in it, all breadth and muscle, broadness to his shoulders. “I promised to show you how to survive out here and I’m following through,” he replied quietly, his dark eyes catching hers before sweeping down her frame and then returning aloofly.

                She arched a brow as she reached him and bent down beside his tall form, shoving the canisters into the emergency packs. “Unnecessary,” she tossed off to him and she sealed the packs up, gathering the clothes she had used for warmth in the cold night. “I can manage.”

                He hesitated, watching her as she struggled to get all of her items together. “Rey,” he said haltingly.

                “Don’t,” she ordered him firmly, immediately. She turned her head away, reaching for the belt that held Luke’s lightsaber and dragging it close, moving to wind it around her waist. She had left it when she had gone to refill the canisters and realized then that it had been a mistake. Just because the knight seemed of the mind to not retrieve the weapon, it did not mean that he didn’t desire it. “Just don’t. You and I both know that this is your idea of fun while this is my idea of survival. We obviously do not agree on the things we need to, and we obviously are not meant to ‘ _co-exist_ ,’ as you say. So just stop-” she shook her head roughly, grimacing and waving at him dismissively. “Just stop _talking_.”

                He fell into silence before her as she looped the belt and tightened it around her waist, as she secured the weapon at her side. And gathering everything into the packs and shoving items into pockets on her form, she rose to her feet with the cases and lifted her head to search the area.

                “Stop,” he said to her quietly as her hazel eyes swept the clearing and the woods beyond. “You’re not going to survive out here on your own. You don’t know what to look for in this type of terrain. You’re not going to-”

                “Stop _talking_ to me like that!” she ordered him angrily, turning and pushing her body toward his offensively, the emergency cases in each hand. She lifted one and motioned toward him irritably with it, waving it around. “Stop putting me down like I haven’t lived my entire life without anyone to help me! Stop talking down to me as if I’ve only _just_ been forced to survive! I’ve lived my entire life alone! I have scrambled and persisted and I am _still_ alive! I did it on Jakku and I can do it here! So just stop-”

                He wrapped a hand around her arm and yanked her bitter form close to his, bowing his head low to speak against her ear. “ _Fine_. Agreed,” he murmured to her, his imposing form somehow becoming something else then as he bent to her, as his breath caressed her temple and forehead. “I will stop speaking to you like that. Just…stop for a moment and listen to me. I have found my way around planets like these before. I know what to look for. So let me show you what you need to know, what to look for, and then I will leave you alone to figure out the rest.”

                Rey frowned up at him from so close, blinking a harsh light gaze. His dark eyes held hers and she saw then that he was sincere; realized deep inside that it was an entirely new expression on his face, completely different to her. She did not recognize this side of him, had never seen this compassion, this sympathy, from him before. Blinking rapidly, she trailed her eyes down his scarred face to his collar before turning a pointed glare at his hand wrapped around her arm still.

                He released her upon getting the hint, his hand drawing away.

                Straightening and composing herself, Rey lifted her chin to him, eyes becoming hooded. “Very well, then,” she stated curtly. “What can you show me that I don’t already know?” she inquired haughtily.

                Dark eyes sweeping her face momentarily, the knight merely arched a brow. “Let’s find out,” he returned just as arrogantly and he rose away from the tree, coming to stand tall before her. He immediately threw her into shadow as he loomed over her but a second later he withdrew a step, turning his face to search the area surrounding them.

                Rey turned her eyes out to the forests around them as well, probing them as he did but not understanding what it was that she looked for.

                The knight turned his head back to look down toward her, the hint of a smile hovering at the corners of his lips. “This way,” he said, and without bothering to wait to see if she followed he started off, moving to dip deeper into the forest.

                Frowning, Rey followed after tentatively and then quickly, hurrying to catch up to the dark form of the knight as he vanished around a tree into the brush beyond.

                He moved throughout the forest as if the trees and flowering sprigs darted out of his path, as if he commanded the world around him.

                Rey found that equal parts right and strange; Kylo Ren commanded attention wherever he went, of that she was certain. His darting movements and aggressive walk would immediately demand awareness, even fear. But the fact that he seemed quite so comfortable and attentive in these unfamiliar forests was a surprise. She followed behind him, slowing as he did, pausing as he would stop to examine the greenery around him, to inspect herbs and bushes around them.

                Just as she was sure that he would find nothing and was wasting her time, he lifted his head and turned to look toward her over his shoulder. “Come here,” he invited her quietly, his pale face soft.

                Rey frowned at that, hesitating.

                His eyes shifted to the packs she held in her hands. “Put those down and come here,” he said once more, motioning to her with a wave of his hand. And when she still hovered behind him, his expression fell wearily. “I returned those items to you. I won’t take them from you now.”

                Rey blinked at his words but then considered them carefully. It was true that he had returned them to her and she saw no reason for him to drag her so far out if all he meant to do was hurt her, kill her. He could have easily accomplished that time and time again already since they had crashed on this uncharted planet.

                With a heavy sigh, one that seemed to amuse him as he watched her, she lowered the packs to the ground, propping them up beside a tree, and she neared with an air of irritability surrounding her. That also seemed to quietly entertain him and he waited, watching her as she finally came up beside his tall form. “Fine. Show me something new and amazing,” she stated wryly.

                With a slight shake of his head at her attitude, even as that same smile continued to pull at the corners of his lips, he turned to the sprigs of green leaves before him. “This entire _world_ is new, new and amazing,” he murmured to her absentmindedly as he returned his attention to what had halted him earlier. “We came out too far into the Unknown Regions to know anything about this planet. But the placement of this planet’s sun, the moon…everything works in conjunction to create a perfect atmosphere for this planet, for the wildlife to survive on it.” He tilted toward her as he leaned to point down at the herbs before him, the tall stems and the bountiful leaves it held out. “These leaves resemble lathering leaves, leaves that you can-” He broke off and bent to pull a few leaves off the stems, rising once more and turning toward her.

                As he held his hand out to her, Rey looked from him to the leaves resting in his palm and she stared for a silent moment, eyebrows arching in question.

                The knight took some of the leaves up between his other thumb and index finger, rubbing them together and then holding it up for her to see.

                Narrowing her eyes, Rey found herself leaning forward to stare at the crushed leaves between his fingers and she felt surprise curl through her, her frown falling away into wonder as she understood what she was looking at. The leaves between his fingers had foamed up as they had been broken and rubbed together, as if he held soap in his grasp. This time his smile appeared as she stared in awe. Such a small amount of leaves and they had lathered up as if he had poured a drop of wash into his hands. Her lips parted and her gaze shifted from the leaves to the knight’s face as he arched his brow at her. “That’s amazing,” she murmured, returning her eyes to the leaves, and she reached out slowly, holding her hand out.

                “You did ask for new and amazing,” he reminded her as he deposited the leaves into her palm. But then he held out the remaining plucked leaves in his hand to her as well, motioning. “Try those yourself,” he said and he turned back to the tall stems, searching them and then lifting his head to look around the forest intently.

                Rey stared at them for a moment before rubbing the untouched leaves together, a strange sense of delight rising within as she was able to produce the same lather from them as the knight had. She laughed faintly, rubbing the leaves between her finger and the center of her opposite palm, watching the lather rise as if she had applied soap to it.

                “What does it smell like?” the knight inquired distractedly, still searching the forests around them.

                Blinking at his question, Rey nonetheless lowered her nose to her palm to sniff. “It…doesn’t smell like anything, really,” she replied slowly as she inhaled slightly. There was a clean scent to the leaves, an herbal one, but quite mild and almost non-existent

                Turning back to her with a frown, the knight lifted his hand to take her palm into his and he bent to it, breathing deeply. “Hmm. You’re right,” he murmured and he hesitated, slowing as he paused to think, his words and breath warm on her skin, his eyes distant as they shifted sideways thoughtfully. “If we can find flowers or something close to them, we can use the scented oils from their leaves to apply to the lathering leaves. Use it as a wash for skin and for clothes,” he mused quietly, lowering her hand away as he straightened once more absentmindedly. “We’ll get to that when I find them. _If_ I find them. Who knows what we’ll find on this planet.”

                Rey merely nodded, her palm feeling as if it burned from where his hand had wrapped around hers. But then he was moving on wordlessly, searching, and she quickly flicked the leaves from her palm before snatching up the packs and falling into step behind him.

                She had to admit, as they searched, that he did seem to know what to look for, what resembled greens that he recognized. He hemmed and hawed periodically as they waded deeper into the forest, as he searched the trees and flowering vegetation carefully.

                They stumbled across a patch of trees with what seemed to be blossoming yellow fruits, bushes with vibrant blue berries. She had been ready to snatch up the bright round fruits, the small bulbs of berries, but he had warned her off with a slight frown, stepping forth to first examine them. She had waited impatiently as he had studied the bright skins, the texture and the shine, before sniffing them and finally breaking them open, one after the other. It wasn’t until he had tasted each, a quick pass of the tongue, that he had turned to her.

                “These, yes,” he stated, waving the strange, bulbous fruits at her and then shaking his head at the berries. “Not these.”

                Rey frowned. “How do you know?” she demanded, wanting the berries from their very appearance.

                “Because I can recognize the poison in them from taste,” he replied just as curtly, and he turned to toss the berries away. “I can slow and sometimes stop the effects of poison in my blood. Another Force ability that I’m sure you haven’t mastered. But then, you would rather see me poisoned and dead, isn’t that right, scavenger?” And without bothering to wait for her response, he tossed the parted round fruit at her and moved to continue on.

                She caught the fruit clumsily along her chest, squeezing it between wrists and forearms as her hands were preoccupied with clutching the emergency packs. A glare formed on her face but the knight had already moved on and she was forced to follow, stuffing a case between her arm and her ribs to take the fruit into her hand and gnaw at it as she hurried to catch up. It was somehow bitter and honeyed at the same time, a tart aftertaste following the initial sweetness, unlike anything she had ever tasted before. 

                He had stopped not too far ahead to pause before a thick bush, bending and then crouching before it.

                As he had done so, she had caught sight of the edge of his wild lightsaber poking out of its harness along his hip, his gestures sliding it along his belt slightly. It had caused her to draw away marginally, to feel for Luke’s weapon at her own side with her elbow.

                But if the knight knew what she had done, what she worried about in that moment, he gave no indication. He was studying a sprig of bush intently, his long fingers trailing across the smooth bark of skin. Then he broke the twig off, pulling it close to examine it.

                Rey waited, lowering the packs carefully at her feet and biting into the fruit again, munching away silently. She hadn’t realized she was hungry until then, having expected to search for sustenance later in the morning into the early part of the afternoon.

                “You have a toothbrush, yes?” the knight inquired vaguely.

                Rey frowned, her chewing slowing somewhat. “I do,” she replied cautiously.

                Rising to his feet, the knight neared, rejoining her, his eyes on the twig caught between his fingers. He held it up for her to inspect though in the back of her mind it resembled every other twig of a bush she had ever encountered. Waiting for her to focus, he stared at her intently.

                She returned the stare awkwardly, uncertain.

                “Break apart the bark to the skin inside of it,” he ordered and he held it out to her.

                Rey took it from him with a glare, trading her fruit for it. She despised being told what to do but if he was looking to teach her something, she could bring herself to learn from him as he had already partly proven his expertise to her. With an arch to her brow, she lowered her attention to the twig and dug at the bark, stripping it away carefully as he watched, as he bit into the fruit and chewed nearly inaudibly. Once she had accomplished the task, she looked up at him once more inquiringly before scowling at the fact that he had eaten a fair amount of her breakfast.

                The knight leaned in, seemingly taken by what her actions had revealed. “Pull back the inside of it. Spread the filaments.”

                Rey recoiled the slightest bit from him at his muted excitement but did as he had instructed. She had been left with pale strings still coiled tightly together beneath the bark but now that she pulled at the threads gingerly, she managed to pull straight hairs of the twig away from the center. As they came loose, they began to resemble a brush and she found herself staring in fascination as she spread the hairs wide. Though they came apart, they were still clasped tightly beneath bark further down along the stick the knight had brought to her and she looked up at him with a smile of pleasant surprise as she trailed the brush at the end of the twig across her palm.

                The knight seemed to mirror her delight for he smiled faintly as he watched her brush the twig along her hand. “You can use that once your toothbrush fails. Just in case,” he said and his attention was still engaged with the twig, to her own happy expression as she grinned at him.

                And then he was much too caught up in her for his cheer slowly died away as he stared at her, as he seemed to be taken by her. His expression fell to wonderment, his lips parting as he gazed at her, as he seemed to take her in and covet her for a spell, for an eternity.

                But then, shaking himself, he recoiled from her and straightened, swallowing and waiting for her as she found herself blinking after him.

                “Good. Good, then,” he stated haltingly, and he turned away to search the forest once more. “Um…I think I found something further in…that you could use-”

                “Okay,” she said just as quickly and just as uncomfortably, and she bent to shove the brush into one of the packs at her feet before taking them up and rising once more. “Lead the way. Please.” Then, as if remembering herself, she followed her words up with a demand. “And give me back that fruit. I’m starving.”

                The knight turned to look at her for a small moment at her stilted words but then, seeming to recognize the awkwardness between them, he tossed her the fruit and then turned away to move on, leading her along at a pace that she could keep up with. Cutting a swath through the vegetation with his large, broad frame, he continued to search the greenery around them before finding something that seemed to catch his attention. With an, “Ah,” he moved toward the clump of stems and leaves, bending to inspect them up close.

                Rey paused behind him, lowering the packs to the soil at her feet again as she waited on him, biting into the bright fruit.

                Pulling small leaves free of the flowering vegetation, the knight rose to his feet and moved toward her swiftly, examining the leaves in his hand carefully. “These. Here,” he said and he lifted a leaf for her to look at before popping it into his mouth.

                Rey stared, reaching out unconsciously to him. “Wait! But you don’t know-”

                But the expression on his face caused her to break off. He seemed to move the leaf around in his mouth, testing it between his teeth and then on his tongue before nodding absentmindedly. Turning away from her, he spit the leaf out and then held the remaining leaves in his palm out to her. “Try one.”

                She immediately recoiled. “Oh. I don’t…I don’t think-”

                “Rey,” he said in such a way that she was brought to straighten to look at him with wide eyes. “Just try it. I’ve already tried one and I wouldn’t let you try something if I didn’t think it was safe.”

                She froze, staring at him as his words settled over her. “Is…is that true?” she questioned him in that moment. And she watched her question fall all over him, watched as it took hold and made him suddenly question himself, even quite possibly his motives.

                The knight bowed his head, his large form looming over as he held his palm of leaves out to her, as he hesitated. Then, seeming to right himself, he nodded and lifted his eyes to hers. “It is true,” he replied quietly, his dark eyes searching hers and then falling to trail over her face, over the fine bones and the soft curves. “It is not my intention to hurt you. I would just as soon try these things myself than ask you to do it.”

                Rey stared at him for a long moment, her breath held before she exhaled heavily, her heart beating much too quickly. “Okay,” she whispered, her gaze tangled with his as she carefully reached out and took a couple of leaves into her fingers.

                And then she had the leaves and raised them to her lips, pushing them into her mouth as he watched her and she felt in that moment that he wanted to be more than what he was then, that he wanted to rest on her fingers as well, to be pressed to her lips. But she had already turned her attention to the leaves that she chewed on carefully, tossing them around in her mouth and testing them.

                Mint. They resembled _mint_.

                As she realized it, she raised wide hazel eyes to him and he seemed to mirror her rising excitement for a full smile finally broke across his long face, the sudden cheer bringing her to pause as she realized that she had never seen such an expression cross his face, had never realized that he, as a person, could even experience merriment.

                The thought saddened her; that she could feel such from him and somehow find it strange that he, himself, would ever understand happiness, understand _anything_ positive. Her brow fell even as she slowed on the leaves, as she stared at him for a long, painful instant.

                He returned the gaze momentarily, his eyes sweeping her face before falling to her mouth. And for a breath, he stared at her, his lips parting unconsciously, his tongue slipping out to wet them.

                The fruit fell from her fingers numbly, the remaining leaves also slipping out of her grasp as he took a step into her, as he met his mouth to hers with a desperate breath.

                Rey’s eyes slid closed at having him close once more, at feeling his body press to hers, his heart beating beneath his skin, against her chest. She still had the leaves in her mouth, small pieces now that she had eaten some of them, but as he deepened the kiss, he swept some of the leaves into his own mouth. A small sound came from him, equal parts laughter and longing, and then his fingers had risen to her face, trailing her skin as he kissed her, as he came to her demanding more.

                She returned the moan to him, hanging in his arms and suspended by his hands even as her knees became weak. How did he do this, she wondered weakly, her fingers seeming to lose feeling at her sides. How did he elicit such tingles from her, such heat and cold with a single caress?

                He ended the kiss, drawing away the smallest bit though his fingers remained on her face, tips ghosting over her cheekbones.

                She exhaled in a sigh against him, still feeling pieces of leaves in her mouth though she swept them up with her tongue to swallow them. As he pulled back just a bit more, his own tongue drawing the bits of leaf into his mouth, she raised a thumb to halt him, scraping it along a bright piece of green on his bottom lip and carrying it to her own mouth, lips closing around the digit as she raised light eyes to meet his dark gaze.

                He stared at her hazily, his eyes unfocused, pupils dilated widely. As she pulled her thumb from her mouth, she realized he watched her movements almost hungrily. “Dammit, Rey,” he whispered desperately, and he leaned down once more, fingers shifting to wrap around her neck and head, dragging her even as he reached for her.

                Rey went wordlessly though she moaned against his lips as he kissed her again, as he trailed his tongue along the seam of her lips and then within, finding hers. He pulled her onto his broad frame, his kiss becoming hard as he dipped deep into her mouth, his arms tight beneath her hand as it dropped to hold onto something in the midst of her fall. He was steady, sturdy enough under her fingers, and she rose on tiptoe along his body in an attempt to kiss him back, to reach him as he yanked at her. She wanted to follow him, wanted to stagger after him if he moved, if he stayed exactly where he was and held her.

                But remembering herself a mere second later, she yanked away from his kiss, streaking out of his arms with a gasp.

                He released her as if he had known it was coming though it took him a moment to lower his hands to his sides, his eyes slipping closed as he exhaled wearily in the coldness of her absence.

                How did he do this to her, she wondered achingly as she stared at him, her chest rising and falling rapidly with each hard breath. How did he make her forget so easily, so completely?

                He shook his head slowly, his face pained. “You want to forget,” he whispered to her and his shoulders fell though he did not open his eyes to look at her as he spoke. “You _want_ to forget. You want to stop thinking of this place, of the fact that we are here together, _trapped_ here together. You want to forget it just as much as I do and you are looking for someone to blame-”

                “No,” she cut him off, feeling her hackles rise at what he was insinuating, at his words and how easily they curled around her and made her want to _believe_. “No,” she said again, her voice beginning to tremble. “I _can’t_ forget it. I can’t just forget that we’re here, stranded here together-”

                He suddenly moved toward her, stealing close, so close that his breath was upon her lips once more as he exhaled along her mouth, as he gazed at her from a hairsbreadth away. “Not _can’t_ ,” he uttered, his dark stare sweeping back and forth between each of her hazel eyes. “ _Want_. You _want_ to forget it but you _can’t_. You can’t even turn your thoughts from it, no matter how hard you try, how much you reach for it. You can’t help but think of being here, of being _isolated_ here with me. But you don’t want to. You _want_ to be able to stop thinking of it, stop thinking of what it means.” He tilted his head, his breath warm on her lips. “Of what it makes you feel. How little control you have-”

                Rey shut her eyes tightly, wincing. “Stop talking,” she said weakly, almost pleading. “Stop talking. You…you confuse me, y-you read my thoughts and use them against me, use them to-”

                “No,” he murmured and then his fingers were on her face once more, tips slipping up her cheeks to the fine bones, his thumbs curling to her lips. “I only hear the words in your head and agree, hear them and do what you want, what you ask for. Because this is what you want. This is what your thoughts whisper even as you scream in your head that you hate me, that you want to kill me.” He hesitated, gazing at her almost sadly as she opened her eyes, her spiked lashes fluttering at encountering him so close. “Your thoughts may be scrambled and confused, overlapping voices and words, but deep down…” He shook his head slightly. “You want this. You ache for it.”

                Rey breathed rapidly, shallowly, her expression wishing to crumble. “Yes,” she whispered and for a moment his face stilled, straining as if hovering on the thinnest breath. But she shook her head even as she closed her eyes, wishing to shut him away from her sight even as she craved. “But please. Please don’t do this.”

                He seemed to freeze beneath her palm, his arms tightening, flexing as his fingers clamped down on her cheeks.

                _Please don’t do this._

                Inhaling deeply, the knight released her and pulled away from beneath her grasp.

                Startled, Rey’s eyes came open and she blinked at finding his warmth gone, his body having vanished.

                He had only stepped away from her; a good distance still but not enough to make her feel as if he had abandoned her. She bowed her head as she breathed in shakily, reaching for something, anything, to compose herself, to give her strength. She barely found steady footing as she raised her gaze to him, meeting his dark eyes as he held himself still and silent.

                His stare dipped down her entire body as he straightened, as he blinked to likewise compose himself. “I…haven’t found a covered area for you to…retire to during the night. There is only the cavern behind the waterfall but…”

                “But I can’t go there,” she said firmly, swallowing again, reaching for strength. “I can’t go there.”

                “You can’t stay there with me,” he stated in response. Blinking rapidly, he lowered his eyes away from hers. “I will continue to search for a place for you. I will continue when I leave here.”

                She nodded stiffly, also avoiding his eyes. “Yes. Thank you. I would like that very much. I will look on my end.”

                And they hesitated within each other’s presence, hovering tentatively, moving from one foot to the other before Rey realized that she needed to go.

                Spinning away, she bent and lifted the cases back into her embrace, tucking one away beneath an arm to leave a hand free in case she had need of it. She would need to acquaint herself with the leaves and greenery he had introduced her to, maybe even find her own way through the wildlife. But her first objective was to find shelter and she realized that in that moment, she couldn’t be anywhere near him; not with the way he had felt beneath her palms, how he made her feel when he kissed her and caressed her. She needed to focus, to concentrate, and she couldn’t do it when all her body wanted to do was throw itself at him.

                She paused and then cast a look in his direction though she didn’t meet his eyes. “Thank you. For today. It was quite useful.”

                He didn’t reply, his tall, dark form standing rigidly at her side.

                Without another word, she turned her head away and moved back the way they had come. She would need to search the surrounding area for shelter now that she knew what she would need to look for once she exhausted her emergency supplies. At the moment, there was nothing more important than shelter.

                But as she left him, she felt a strange and unfamiliar longing within and she found the desire to push it away almost too much. Perhaps for now she would merely carry it with her as she went off in her search.

                And perhaps he would carry that same longing with him as he returned to his own shelter for the night.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Ten: **

Rey had a moment to breathe him in, woods and metal, before his massive form stood before her, before he enveloped her. Before his mouth came down on hers painfully, almost desperately.

 


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, soooooooooooooooo...
> 
> How mad are you all at me right now? Because I have a SUPER good reason as to why I have been absent (if you haven't checked out my tumblr)!!
> 
> So in June I lost my flash drive. The same flash drive that I hadn't backed up to my comp since October 2017... So I have had to patch this story basically back together and do edits over again and rewrite parts. Which is also why the preview for this chapter that I had at the end of the last chapter no longer matches up. I was rewriting chunks of this chapter and it ended up becoming a bit too long so I had to split it up. So right now, since I also have to update all of the upcoming chapters due to lost work, the preview from last chapter should be for chapter 11 now and is at the end of this chapter. Fingers crossed. Or not. I don't know anymore. I'm just super tired all the time now and kicking myself that I lost that flash drive and didn't back it up to my comp and portable drives.
> 
> I also lost 8 months of work, like work documents and spreadsheets and stuff, so that's not cool. I am way behind now and trying to get myself back together but it's hard and taking a long time, along with trying to keep up with my usual workload now. So that's where I am.
> 
> I have not responded to any comments left to this fic or to any others I have written and I do apologize for that. I promise I will get around to them! I just need a second to breathe and to pick up writing again, getting everything together to make sense again.
> 
> SO! Please forgive me! I will try to be consistent from here on out and hope that the story still makes sense and that you guys continue to like it!

**Chapter Ten:**

 

                It had been days since she’d had any significant contact with the knight. He had made himself scarce just as she had asked, even if the request had not been voiced aloud. But before vanishing, he had found her a small covered dwelling not too far from the waterfall runoff and the cavern. It had been more than enough and she had thanked him for it mutely, though she had been positively ecstatic within to have a place to retire to. She had spent another night in the cold in the forest before he had shown her the overarching piece of cliff that offered shelter. He had disappeared not long after she had decided the shelter to be adequate, no doubt returning to the cave behind the waterfall. As he had walked away, a tall stalking dark shade in the sun, she had understood that he had found her the dwelling so that she would be near to him. If he had been so inclined, he could have found her something on the other side of the planet.

                She still wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

                In those days of barely any interaction, Rey had run out of her supplies; she had bathed the night before and depleted the small amount of wash that had remained in the vials. She still had some of the mouth rinse though she had begun to drag the amount out now that she had become familiar with the leaves that resembled mint deep in the forest.

                She had also begun to run low on her rations. She had spaced out the amount that she ate as she couldn’t seem to find anything of sustenance in the waters and couldn’t bring herself to hunt the small wildlife she encountered in the forests. She told herself it was because she didn’t know if they would be poisonous to her, if they had something within their body that would be a hazard. The truth was she couldn’t bring herself to hunt and kill the small animals she found. Not just yet, anyway. Within a few more days, she would be so hungry that she would be forced to. But she was still waiting for that to become necessary.

                The morning had dawned bright and warm, the first pleasant weather day she’d had since crash landing on this planet besides the morning that she had watched the knight bathe. Rousing herself away from that devious thought, she gathered her items together, well aware that her possessions had dwindled somewhat. She had pulled out the new flight suit at last just the day before, having needed to wash her beige uniform and the original flight suit she had crashed with. They hung from the trees just outside of her shelter, drying in the cool air and warming now that the sun’s rays fell on them that morning. Dragging them off the trees, she folded them and set them further within the small covered nook, plopping the pile on top of her emergency packs and shoving the heap against a rock wall deeper in. She would take Luke’s lightsaber with her when she went to bathe but she would now leave items behind, force herself to depend fully on the world around her and its resources for the day.

                Coming out of her nook, she took a deep breath, smelling the trees and the vegetation on the morning breeze, hearing all the small sounds that had become a comfort over the last few days. She would follow the streams that she used to drink from and search out freshwater types of creatures and animals in their depths, refill her water canisters as well. Hooking her empty flasks to the belt that also housed her weapon, she set out in silence, her mind focused on what she needed to accomplish.

                Within minutes she hit the steady, heavy stream that ran off from the waterfall far back where the knight’s shelter stood. Stooping, she refilled her water canisters, taking a healthy drink from one to ease her parched throat. Once she finished that task, she rose and followed the runoff from the waterfall for what seemed to be almost a klick and a half before she came across a large pond that had grown into a small setting surrounded on both sides by more forests. The pond filtered off into another stream, one that curved away behind a copse and vanished from view.

                Pausing, she observed the water carefully. It appeared clean and clear to her sight and as she neared, she found herself reflected in the calm waters lapping gently at the edges. The soil seemed to become almost sandy before her and she inhaled deeply once more, scenting the greenery, the fragrance of water on earth. She watched the gentle waves as they reached toward her and then receded, as the stream sent continuous ripples throughout the calm surface.

                She would bathe here later tonight, she decided.

                At the moment she needed to brush her teeth and scrounge up breakfast, along with finding the proper leaves to use to bathe and wash her clothes as she would soon need to clean the new flight suit. Turning to look over her shoulder, she tried to recognize the plants surrounding her, searching out the familiar greens that she would need. Trudging toward the forests and into them, she examined the area around her, the shrubs and vegetation, the leaves that sprouted enticingly. She immediately found several flowering bushes and young trees of the bulbous fruit the knight had cleared to be edible, stumbling into a grove of fallen treats. She could have an afternoon to evening snack of the ripe fruits on the ground seeing as how she was not in the mood for another meal of dry and grainy rations.

                But it was the small section to the right that had what she would need to cleanse herself with. Crouching, she inspected the leaves of the bushes and plants, squinting. Pulling several leaves off, she laid them in her palm and then rubbed into them, swiping a thumb over them in a circular fashion as the knight had shown her. As it lathered up and let off a clean herbal scent, she smiled proudly.

                Not bad for a scavenger that had spent her entire life on a _desert_ planet.

                Not too far off, she found the small sprigs of mint that she could use for her mouth and she quickly broke off a piece of twig from a willow bush, immediately stripping the bark from it as she collected clumps of the mint and lathering leaves. Once she had stripped the bark away, she chewed at the edge of the twig as she returned to the pond, breaking the fibers apart into soft bristles. Popping some of the mint leaves into her mouth, she set to work on what had become her morning routine; brushing her teeth clean and then packing up her items again in search of food.

                She spent the next bit of morning seeking out and collecting several of the fruits the knight had deemed edible. While she didn’t wish to ask him for any more help, she realized that she would have to; she could only survive on these fruits for so long before her body would require something more for nutrition.

                And she could barely function with her limited knowledge of the Force. She needed him to teach her, finally. At last. Since he had last offered her his services at the edge of a splintering frozen planet, she could only now grasp that she would need someone to help her.

                “ _You need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the Force!”_

                She grimaced inwardly. Perhaps the following day. She was consistently putting off wanting to approach him knowing where he resided, even though every day that she avoided him was another day that confused her. She found herself _wanting_ to seek him out, _wanting_ to see him.

                Wanting to feel his hands on her body again and his mouth on hers, his heavy weight and his warmth.

                Shaking her head roughly, she forced her thoughts away from him. One minute. One _damn_ minute where he didn’t occupy her thoughts so completely, she pleaded of the world around her.

                She had taken to inspecting the forests for herbs, drawn in by flowers of extravagant color and beauty, tempted by brilliant fruits that would probably kill her with a single taste. And yet, she found herself loving every moment of it. How strange that a sun and a moon could affect an entire planet and its atmosphere, could bring vegetation to grow, could sustain life. How savage and how wild. She had made mental notes of all of the fruits and herbs she had encountered, storing the information away for the day she could risk asking for the knight’s help again. He was more knowledgeable, more adept, at figuring out this entire world they were stranded on. She just needed to be ready to deal with him and to figure herself out in his presence. He was a monster and a murderer.

                But he was her only hope on this planet.

                It was late afternoon when she found herself trekking up a steep hill of trees and bush, of shrubs and heavily forested land. Trudging through the heavy vegetation, she heard the sound of falling water close by, realizing that she had circled close to the waterfall and the knight’s dwelling. Keeping the noise to her right, she continued on climbing higher and higher, the muscles in her legs beginning to burn from the strain. Fighting the persistent ache, she crowned the top of the steep climb, coming out onto pale dirt and sand, a wide open space of land.

                The TIE Silencer sat silently before her, black and wounded in the brilliant sun.

                She stared at it for a long while, aware that she was seeing something that she somehow no longer knew, could almost believe was part of a long forgotten life or dream. She had been stranded on this planet for a maximum of five to six days and her life on Jakku, her life with the Resistance, seemed so long ago and so far away.

                How had this happened in such a short period of time?

                Her X-wing had been tossed off that cliff just ahead which meant that she was at the very top of the knight’s dwelling, overlooking the waterfall if she were to walk to its very edge. With a deep sigh she turned her attention back toward the shadow of the knight’s vessel, her eyes running across its sleek curves and dazzling metal hull and wings.

                As if magnetically drawn, she took a step out of the forests to approach the ship. A moment later she came to a sudden halt, shame and dismay sweeping through her. She had seen the ship and had reverted to her basest of instincts; to scavenge what she could from the ship. And for what? Who would she have sold the parts to? Who would have bought her items and given her food or currency in return? The wildlife on this lush green world? The little animals that she didn’t have the heart to kill yet for sustenance? Even staring at the ship now, she saw how she had damaged it, how it leaned to one side when she had taken out the ion engines. There was nothing there for her to salvage, to use, to help her now.

                As if a creeping shadow had overcome her, she had a moment of complete and utter helplessness, of mounting terror.

                How was she to survive here? How long could she go before needing to speak to another person, to require that interaction, even if it came from a murderer? Jakku had been a hell on earth, she had realized shortly after joining the Resistance, after beginning her struggle to find her place. But at least her place had been with _people_. Here on this uncharted planet, she was alone with the Master of the Knights of Ren and she couldn’t even trust herself around him, trust herself to be in his presence before her body attempted to betray her.

                She turned away from the Silencer a moment later, needing air even as she had gasped it in.

                The knight stood off by the drop of the cliff, a dark shade in the sunlight.

                Reeling backward at the sudden sight of him, she felt herself stagger before she pulled herself together, her muscles bunching up even as she exhaled in a dry huff. “Don’t do that!” she ordered, blinking as she glared at him.

                He was dressed in the black flight suit still, his formidable form a deep contrast to the sun and the brightness of the day. He cocked his head at her words, a slight frown crossing his face.

                She already knew that he wouldn’t apologize for startling her as he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. How strange that she was now beginning to understand him.

                With a hard exhale, she lifted her head and tossed him a look. “What are you doing here?” she demanded.

                He hesitated for a long moment, his dark eyes lowering to the earth at her feet as he seemed to contemplate something. Then, gathering himself, he lifted his gaze to her and held his hand out in a swift gesture, his jaw working. “Come with me.”

                Rey recoiled in surprise, her light eyes dropping to his outstretched hand then darting back to meet his stare. “I beg your pardon?” she uttered crossly, blinking.

                He breathed deeply, his own eyes falling to his beckoning hand before he raised his gaze back to meet hers. “Come with me,” he said again, his words falling gently, hesitantly.

                Rey blinked at him yet again, confusion crossing her face as she realized that he was sincere. “W-where?” she asked in a whisper.

                At her yielding puzzlement, he seemed to relax, his face softening. “Come with me and I will show you,” he said and he waited, his hand held out to her, his tall form seeming to anticipate her agreement even as it seemed a deep and threatening shadow.

                But she wasn’t afraid. In that moment, in many of their moments together, she realized, she rarely feared him. Had he wanted her dead, he could have accomplished it long before. He could have killed her their very first day together and yet, here she was; alive and well, unharmed.

                Breathing in deeply, she lowered her eyes to his hand, hesitating.

                He lingered still, silent and looming.

                Clenching her jaw, feeling her teeth grit, she took a step and then another. And before she knew it, she was before him, returning his gaze but ignoring his hand even as he drew it in. “Where are you going to take me?” she asked him softly, her fingers tingling as she debated accepting his offer.

                He seemed to laugh in a breath, a quick exhale, a soft chuckle that she felt along her bottom lip. “I’m going to show you something that you have rarely seen in person, if at all,” he replied and he held his hand up between their bodies once again, beckoning with his fingers and waiting in anticipation.

                Rey frowned momentarily before lowering her eyes to his hand before her.

                _Something that I have rarely seen?_

                _Why not_ , she questioned herself a moment later, the frown clearing away and leaving her with a decision ahead. _Why not?_ She met his gentle gaze with an equally yielding look before dropping her stare back to his fingers.

                With a deep but silent breath, she reached out and placed her hand in his, feeling a warmth deep within when his cool fingers wrapped around hers and held. In that moment it almost seemed as if they were in some sort of dance; the partner placing her hand in the lead’s before she was swept away.

                With no further words in that moment, the knight turned and began to guide her; away from the TIE Silencer, away from its blackness in the brilliant sun. Away from the place where they’d had their first physical and violent encounter in almost a year.

                Away from the darkness that the cliff held for them.

 

                He led her for over a quarter of an hour, carefully steering the way down the side of the cliff, a way that she didn’t know and had not hiked through to reach the top earlier.

                She had questioned him at one point in their trek if it was necessary to hold her hand throughout the journey; she still did not fully trust him and he had yet to speak more than the few words he had gifted her with at the top of the cliff.

                He had hesitated mid-step, had lowered his eyes to their joined grasp with a slight frown as if he hadn’t realized that he’d still held her hand at all. But then he had flicked a thumb across her own, had raised his brow easily. _It isn’t necessary_ , he had responded, but he rather liked it.

                And she had allowed him to hold her hand the rest of the way.

                Within a few more minutes they had reached what seemed like the edge of another cliff, a sudden glimpse through trees of a wide blue expanse and the drop off just before it.

                Rey slowed as the knight led her out through the gathering of trees to hard dirt and toward the very edge of another sharp drop several feet off. Digging her feet in, she practically yanked him back, her hand still entangled in his. “What is this? Where are you taking me?” she demanded, her heart jumping into her throat.

                He fell back a step as he turned to look at her. “This is what I wanted to show you,” he said as she shifted her eyes from the drop off to his face. His expression was sincere, light, and he motioned as she hesitated still. “I don’t think you’ve ever seen an ocean, or a body of water as large as this one,” he stated and he drew close, looking down at her from such a height. “Come with me,” he insisted in a deep tone, excitement reverberating in its depths. “Let me show you how blue a world can be. After everything you’ve dreamed, that island that you see when you sleep, let me show you how real it can be. How real it can _feel_.”

                She stared up at him with parted lips, her breath escaping her in gasps, her light eyes wide as she met his dark ones. He was beautiful with the sun at his back, shedding a soft coolness over her as she stood in half of his shadow, half in the sun. And she wanted to believe in that moment, she wanted to _believe_ ; believe that he did not mean her any harm, that he wanted to show her exactly what he had proposed only moments ago.

                In this light warmth of day, she did not feel overcome by heat. It was just another breathtaking day on this strange new world. But in that moment she wanted to see how far that blue water stretched, how deep the blue could be and how strong the waters were. She wanted to feel that wet coolness on her skin as if she thirsted on Jakku still, during the worst of her days. She wanted to run her eyes over the expanse of blue waters, watch the tide ripple and fall away, watch the sea foam form as waves crashed.

                She wanted to see everything she had imagined from her blind dreams, wanted to see it all with her waking eyes.

                And most of all, she wanted to _feel_ it.

                The same soft smile quirked at the edges of the knight’s lips. “Then trust me. Now. Trust me now.”

                She blinked, understanding dimly that he had either read her mind or she had projected as she was prone to do. But as she gazed at him, she found that she didn’t mind his intrusion in that moment. If anything, it had served its purpose to calm her, to come to a decision. “What…what are you going to do?” she asked tremulously.

                The tension fell from his brow, his forehead smoothing. “Not me. _We_ ,” he corrected her. And then he turned his head away and motioned to the cliff edge. “We’re going to jump. Into that water.”

                Her jaw had dropped open before she even began stuttering. “Oh, no…no, I don’t…I don’t think…” she uttered with a hard shake of her head. “That…that looks like…quite a drop-”

                “It _is_ quite a drop,” he spoke over her reluctance smoothly, deep voice soothing, holding her hand tightly even as she unconsciously took a step back. “It’s quite a drop,” he said again carefully, fingers tight on hers. “But you won’t even have much time to react before you hit the water and then you won’t care. You won’t care.”

                She looked from him to the cliff edge, to the diamond glimmer of sunlight on the vast blue surface in the distance, and then back to him, her light eyes wide. “I don’t know how to swim,” she uttered to him breathlessly. “I don’t…I mean, I _know_ how to swim…but I don’t _know_ how to swim, not in deep waters like those-”

                He merely shook his head at her, clutching her with a clamp of a grip. “You don’t have to,” he said to her quickly, easily. “You don’t have to. Just jump. Jump with me. I’ll take care of the rest.”

                Rey grimaced, shaking her head as well as she continued to pull, as she felt the utter terror go through her. She wouldn’t be able to do it, wouldn’t be able to be pressured into it. She would have to take the time, work up the nerve. She needed to do it on her own and she needed-

                She practically stumbled backward when his grip on her loosened; even as he moved to tighten his hold again to keep her from tumbling over, she was still surprised that he had let her go.

                “Take your time,” he said and he turned his head to glance over his shoulder, dark hair catching the sun and glinting. “Go to the edge, look down at the water. Take your time.” And then he turned to look at her again, dark eyes focused in what seemed to be excitement. “But when you see that you can do it, I want you to jump with me.”

                Rey stared at him in stunned silence.

                Even as he looked back silently, she found that she couldn’t pull her eyes from his, couldn’t fully grasp the world around her then. If she looked at everything; this strange uncharted planet with its crystal blue waters and lush greenery, looked at the predicament she was in, looked closely at the person she was stranded with-

                _How has this come to be_ , she wondered almost desperately then. _How did this happen_?

                And how had she somehow become fortunate that it had?

                The knight’s eyes softened and as she merely stared at him, he slowly released her hand and straightened away from her. Shifting slightly, his tall, dark form stepping aside and leaving her a clear path to the cliff edge, he said, “Take a look.”

                Rey stared at him for another long moment, lips parted, before dragging her eyes from his to the cliff edge ahead. She could still see the distant calm blue waters past the edge, saw the sunlight beam down and paint crystals on the smooth waters. It was beautiful, exquisite.

                And that surface just begged to be broken.

                As she stared, she vaguely realized that the day had gone from cool to warm, understood that the water would feel positively blessed on her skin if she were to immerse herself in it.

                She just…had to take the plunge.

                Swallowing through a lump in her throat, she looked at him one more time before steeling herself and turning her head to the cliff edge. And as she took a step, the knight released her hand slowly, carefully, holding himself still beside her as she took another step and passed him by.

                Her legs trembled, she noted dimly. For some odd, ridiculous reason, her legs quaked as she cautiously approached the cliff edge. The world fell away, silence screaming in her head as she neared and as she came upon the edge, she felt her breathing ramp up as she gauged the drop.

                It wasn’t as deep as the drop that had claimed her X-wing. It was barely a drop at all. But it was still enough of one that she would think twice. Directly below, as she leaned warily to look straight down, she noticed a bit of jagged rock at the base of the cliff. To her left, several meters ahead, the rocks smoothed into beach, a long, reaching bank of pale sand.

                Anywhere else, somewhere known, and she would have wanted to stay there forever.

                She breathed in deeply, feeling a strange wistfulness inside at the thought.

                _Anywhere else, any other place that has already been charted…and I would want to make this home. I would want this to be home._

                Even with the sand, this was not Jakku, and this was not a prison. Not the way she knew a prison could be. This was…

                This was something else, something _beautiful_.

                She felt a presence close behind a moment later and she turned her head slightly, eyes shifting toward the cliff under her feet and catching the dark form in her peripheral vision.

                “Take the leap,” Kylo Ren murmured quietly at her back. “Take it with me.”

                Blinking at the ground before her, her brow inching into a frown, she could only shake her head wordlessly. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know. He _couldn’t_ know. He didn’t know what sand meant to her, didn’t know what she could take, what she couldn’t take. He didn’t understand her.

                He didn’t know her.

                “I don’t have to,” he growled and he circled around her, taking hold of her arms in a hard grip. “I don’t have to know you. I only have to know your fears. Your dreams. The rest will come with time, especially with the both of us _stuck_ here.”

                She looked up at him, caught between his hands, her arms drawn in tight at her sides.

                Almost glaring at her, he uttered, “Jump with me. Let me help you overcome your fear. We can do this, all of this, together.”

                Rey understood then that he hadn’t meant only the leap from the cliff. He meant their entire situation, their completely new life now. Stranded as they were now, he was extending a hand. She just wasn’t sure that she wanted to accept it, not from him.

                His hands loosened slightly as they merely stared at each other in electric silence.

                But then, she questioned herself, who else was there to accept the hand from? And who was she to make this all the more difficult for them, more so than it currently was?

                How long would she make things harder if he was willing to step up and help her, work with her?

                The knight’s hands dropped away as he continued to look at her silently.

                Swallowing faintly, Rey blinked up at him for another long and strained moment before her eyes lowered, moving toward his hands at his sides. They were large, far larger than hers and she already knew from experience that they could engulf hers easily. She hesitated, observing them, watching them as he distractedly tightened them into fists momentarily and released.

                Taking a deep breath, Rey nodded to herself and then reached out, slipping her hand into his and exhaling shakily as his fingers entwined with hers almost immediately. “Okay,” she said, attempting to speak firmly but feeling the waver in her chest as she murmured the word. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

                The knight turned his head the slightest bit though his eyes didn’t leave hers.

                She nodded, forcing herself to straighten. “Let’s do it,” she said again and she looked over her shoulder to the cliff edge, craning her head to look over it even though deep down she didn’t want to see. “How do we do this?”

                Kylo Ren did not seem the slightest bit the Master of the Knights of Ren then as his dark eyes lit up, though his face remained somehow composed. “You put your trust in me,” he said slowly, his deep voice quiet, his eyes holding hers as he tightened his fingers around hers. “And we jump off the edge of the cliff.”

                The words were absolutely ridiculous but Rey couldn’t find anything insane in the expression on his face or in his cadence. She swallowed once more before nodding briefly. “Okay.”

                As if not entirely believing her, the knight lifted his head, dark stare still trained on her before he turned his body to gingerly walk toward the edge.

                Rey followed wordlessly, aware that he watched her carefully, maintaining the eye contact as he stopped just before the drop. Those few steps had served to put the fear back in her legs but she refused to show it, holding her head straight on her neck and breathing in deeply.

                At the edge, she also stopped and then made the mistake of looking down.

                The drop was not enormous. It was barely anything, really. But the mere thought of falling straight into it was enough to cause her to tremble. “How do you know we won’t plummet and break ourselves open on rock?” she demanded him in a tone that came out a bit too sharply, betraying her uneasiness.

                The knight chuckled soundlessly at her side. “I’ve been in the water already,” he said. “The rocks curve to the side and lead down to that beach.” He pointed to the angled turn of the pointed boulders.

                Staring closely then, Rey saw that he was correct. The rocks eroded to sand along the beach and, directly below, she realized that the blue water was clear enough to see straight down into it. She could see that the rock had been battered and worn away leaving the deep sea green view of sandy floor.

                “How do you know we won’t plummet and break ourselves open on straight sand?” she asked instead but this time her question came teasingly, the beginnings of ease sweeping up her stiff form.

                And this time, the knight smiled. “I wouldn’t let that happen,” he said. At her hitched eyebrow of suspicion, he amended. “I tested the depths. We’ll be fine.”

                Rey nodded as she looked back out over the edge, out over the glittering blue surface of the water below and far off into the sunlit distance. Inhaling deeply again, she forced her heart to slow, drove the babbling thoughts out of her head and forced silence to fall inside. The breeze was warm, the sun even warmer and there was nothing else that mattered.

                The knight at her side did not wish to hurt her and she found herself believing that he would remain at her side through this test. The constant worry and stress of continuing to live on this strange planet did not have to exist in this moment, did not have to have any bearing on what they were about to do.

                But she needed this. She needed to overcome at least one fear here, one roadblock that could potentially obstruct many more things.

                One roadblock that could stop her from surviving here, she understood finally, as she turned her head to look up at the knight.

                Not _the knight_ , she thought then as she stared at him, as she saw him clearly yet again; perhaps for the very first time, with his open expression and his calm brow, his strength and resilience in body. Not _the knight_.

                Ben. Ben Solo.

                The knight’s head lifted as she thought the words, his eyes narrowing slightly in consternation before releasing the tension and gazing back again openly. His fingers tightened once more and then held, his chest lifting as he took a deep breath.

                Rey merely looked back before nodding.

                Turning his head to look at the cliff edge and then over, the knight also nodded.

                Then, in perfect communion, they took the step and leapt.

 

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to tell you guys anymore, lol. Except that I apologize for being so late with this chapter, with this story altogether. The last few months have been a headache but also full of very good things so I have been away from writing and Ao3 in general. I promise to try to make it up to you guys by writing more and faster.
> 
> If I don't post the next chapter before Christmas or New Years, have the best and happiest holidays, you guys!

Chapter Eleven:

 

                When Rey hit the water, she found herself immediately terrified.

                The sea floor at the base of the cliff did go down far enough that she plunged several feet in, but it was in the water that she lost the flimsy grip she had on composure. She immediately flailed, forgetting everything that Finn had ever taught her, what Poe had counseled her to do when he had enlisted to help her learn to swim. She had momentary, darting memories in the deep clear blue of the ocean, memories that came and went as she opened her eyes in the water and looked up to the wavering sun beaming down through the rippling surface overhead.

                Upon fully understanding that Rey had lived almost her entire life on the desert planet Jakku, Finn had taken it upon himself to teach her how to swim. It had taken weeks, almost months, for Rey to take to the water at all even though she had immediately loved it in all of its forms. But she had always had a dependable teacher to show her how to swim, to be there to help her when she had attempted floating for the first time, when she hadn’t been able to master it quickly enough.

                As if her words had been heard, the figure at her side tightened his grip on her hand and neared in one darting motion, appearing before her and meeting her eyes in the water as she lowered them to look at him. She had taken a deep breath before leaping, as had the knight. Now he merely looked at her underwater for a long moment, fingers carefully loosening but then playing along hers, the feeling strange yet wonderful in the vast ocean surrounding them. Rey turned her eyes from his to look at their hands as they drifted upward together at their sides, still in contact, the sensation somehow airy and light under the water’s weight and thickness. His hand was larger than hers, fingertips easily bending over the tips of hers as they met palms, as they floated. Everything about him was bigger, massive, compared to her slighter frame.

                He even threatened to block out some of the sun as he floated before her, inching upward to look down at her from up close, dark eyes sweeping over her face calmly, slowly. He seemed to take in every one of her features, tracing her eyebrows, her eyelashes, without touch. His gaze slid down the slope of her nose to the curve of her lips, the top leading down to the bottom, and she saw the rise of something in that dark stare as she held herself still before him. He made her self-conscious as he observed her, as he let his eyes roam freely along her face, and she had half a mind to lick her lips expectantly before remembering herself and the fact that her body was beginning to become warm from the lack of air. She held herself still longer though, wanting him to have his fill of her, wanting to give him just that one second more even as she began to need air.

                As if hearing the needs of her body, he lifted his head toward the surface above, slants of wavering light playing across his face, reflecting in those dark eyes and waving dark hair as he searched for something overhead. As she looked up with him, she felt his fingers entwine with hers again and then he was darting upward, dragging her with him as he made for the water’s surface. Her legs kicked her along even as he led, his own gestures harder than hers and yet somehow still fluid. In water, she felt as if she moved like a fish _out_ of water. She didn’t understand how he could make every one of his movements so supple yet powerful. His strength was consistently reflected in every move he made, down to the clenching of his fists when he stalked toward his prey lithely.

                This could not be the same person, she thought with the beginnings of panic.

                They broke the surface seconds later and as she came through, she expelled the breath she had held in one harsh gesture, immediately inhaling another breath desperately. The knight had done the same moments before her as he had surfaced ahead of her, but he released her hand to lift fingers to his face, to wipe away water from his eyes and to blink rapidly as he regained his surroundings and gasped heavily.

                Rey mirrored him at his side, feeling drops of water make it into her mouth and then marveling at the fact that it appeared to be clean water as if from a stream, not the salted water of a sea or ocean. The realization was gone seconds later as the knight turned his head and looked toward her in a quick movement that whipped water from his hair at her. “Are you all right?” he asked her in a strained voice.

                She blinked at him as she rubbed at her eyes still, as she continued to gasp in her own breaths of fresh, delicious air. Nodding dimly, she said, “Yes.” And then, with sudden exhilaration running clear through her body from her head down to her smallest toes, she grinned widely at him. “Yes!”

                The knight peered at her for a long silent moment as she continued to smile, her grin widening. And then she tossed her head back and suddenly laughed, floating beside him and beaming.

                “ _Yes_! That was incredible! That was _incredible_!”

                Her shout reverberated across the water, bouncing off the cliff face behind their forms and shooting out over the wide expanse of water before them, vanishing as the echoes died.

                Never before had she felt like this. This happy. This alive. She didn’t even know how to comprehend it in that moment. She had felt happiness before, had felt it within her form when she had felt the Force work through her, but that sensation was the opposite of this.

                That was calm, peace. Serenity. This was crazy, exhilarating, emotional. This was everything that she thought she couldn’t be when using the Force. This was…this was…

                She turned her head to look at the knight as he continued to float silently beside her, his face having fallen into a stiff mask as he stared at her. She didn’t want to complete the sentence in her head, didn’t want this moment to end even as she felt her happiness withering.

                This was-

                “Say it,” the knight murmured, and as she stared at him, her smile quavering, he turned his body in the water to look at her, to gaze at her. His dark eyes reflected her in the sunlight, in the water, floating like a strange creature of the deep, but there was only a desperate need to be found there, something else brimming in its depths. “Say it, Rey.”

                She swallowed, the smile now fully gone, droplets of water running down her cheeks and plopping back onto the surface as she also turned to look at him. She wanted to turn away, in fact, suddenly didn’t want those dark unfathomable eyes on her when only moments ago she had craved them, had struggled to give him just a few seconds more to gaze upon her and almost worship her. That moment was gone and now she was stranded between unease and the sudden desire to swim to the beach and run.

                “Say it, Rey,” he said again.

                How easily he had ruined the moment for her, she thought. And even as the words ran through her head, she pushed them away. No. He hadn’t ruined the moment. Her traitorous mind had, her widening understanding of things as they worked, had ruined it.

                How quickly she had changed, she realized. How easily.

                He had changed as well, stranded on this planet with her. He had never been this kind, this compassionate. Or maybe he always had been and she had just never chosen to see it.

                She couldn’t stop herself from seeing it now, she thought with a rising fear inside. On this uncharted planet, she couldn’t help but notice everything about him, everything bad…and everything _good_. Two sides of their same coin, always.

                _Always_.

                “It’s the adrenaline,” she whispered deceitfully.

                As the knight’s expression seemed to harden, as his eyes dropped away, his head shaking, she said it again and moved to add to it, to try to convince herself as well as him.

                “It’s the adrenaline,” she said once more, struggling through the ball in the throat because if she said the words he wanted to hear, he would win. She couldn’t have that here, she couldn’t allow herself to be swayed to his side. She didn’t even want to allow herself a mere moment to believe anything except what she had thought she had known about herself for so long. She _couldn’t_. Not when they were stranded here together like this. “I-I-I’ve never done something like that, something absolutely crazy like that! My heart was pounding in my ears the entire time and I’ve rarely gone through anything like that! It’s the adrenaline, it’s making me crazy and-and loopy, and…” She shook her head, searching for words, searching for an escape from this hole that she had dug for herself.

                How easy it would be to fall to the Dark Side, she realized in that one painful moment of silence between them.

                Still shaking his head, the knight merely waited with closed eyes, his brow turned low as she struggled to find the words to make him understand, to explain herself even though all that came from her lips were lies.

                Then in a single, darting movement, his hands came up from beneath the water, dripping as his large hands reached for her face. His fingers found it, curling along the lines of her jaw, turning her head up, and then his lips were silencing her untruths.

                Her fears, even, she understood in that slight breath between being startled and giving in wholeheartedly.

                He tasted like the clear, cool water surrounding them; tasted like Winter and snow, their battlefield on StarKiller. He tasted like pain, like desperation. Like longing. She returned his kiss and found herself reaching for more of him, felt her own hands slip up along the slick material of his flight suit in the thick water to slide up to his broad shoulders. As she did, she wondered what she tasted like to _him_ , what he saw and felt when he held her in his arms tightly.

                Betrayal, she assumed, as she parted her lips beneath his, as she yielded to a hard kiss with a moan and then opened herself up to more of him, to another kiss that spoke to his anger, his need. His disappointment in her. She would taste like treachery to him because that was what she had done to him. He had never betrayed her since they had flown their vessels in battle and ended up on this planet; she had thought him true to form until she had realized that he had deviated this entire time. Could she then consider that a betrayal, for not seeing something that had been right in front of her eyes the entire time? She wondered as she darted into him closer, kicking in the water to bring her nearer, to push her body into his and to allow him to consume her, to claim her as his. Would it still be a betrayal if she had seen another side of him, so many different sides to him that clashed with the person that she had thought him to be? Would it still be a betrayal if she just hadn’t known that he had had so many facets to him, facets she wouldn’t have allowed herself to even consider? Because, in the end, weren’t they still the enemy to each other? Were they not still standing on two sides of one large chasm, secure that what they were doing was right and aware the entire time that the other was the villain?

                Was he even still the villain of her story?

                A soft groan left the knight as she dragged her fingers up along his neck, digging into his hair and tangling, yanking, hating herself even as she did so. He made her feel small in his arms, positively tiny against his large frame and hard edges, made her feel as if she could disappear in his shadow, beneath him if he were to take her down to the ground. Her entire life struggling to survive on that desert planet, trying to strengthen herself, make herself be _more_ , and now here came this knight ruining all of her efforts by merely _existing_. Everything he was spoke to emotion; hard, red-hot boiling-over emotion.

                And how well it suited him, she thought as his hands left her face to wrap around her waist and back to yank her roughly into his hard form. How well this emotionally wrought persona suited this Knight of Ren. It was all she knew of him, all she could recognize from battlefields.

                But now, here in his arms as they circled her waist and dragged her close, as they almost crushed her to his chest, she found herself becoming angry, questioning. _Questioning_. How did one so easily overtake her, bring her to submission with a mere kiss and the invitation of an afternoon swim?

                No. That wasn’t what this was, she thought as she yanked on his hair, as she felt his hands slip low and grasp her rear, yank him roughly onto his pelvis to feel exactly how much he wanted her in that moment, how easily she sent him reeling with desire. She grimaced under his kiss, winced as his fingers curled roughly and deeply into her rear as he pulled her into his hardness desperately. She was half distracted by him, half struggling to remember what she had even been thinking before he had made her head swim.

                This was all so much more than they both understood, though she realized then reluctantly that he had grasped their predicament and had attempted to make it work between them much faster than she had. She had let her anger cloud her judgement, cloud the fact that because they were stranded together, probably forever now, that they needed to work together to survive. If he didn’t kill her at some point.

                He broke the kiss, his movements sending the water rippling around them, and he stared down at her as he took a deep breath. She mirrored him from up close, blinking up at him as if she had never seen him before, droplets trailing down her face and neck.

                “I won’t do it,” she whispered to him, her words almost drowned out by lapping water, ripples. She lowered her eyes momentarily, searching for the words she needed to say to him, words she needed him to understand. “Even if we’re stuck here together, I won’t do it. I won’t submit to the Dark Side. I won’t let it consume me-”

                He turned his head from her, causing her to lift her eyes back to him. “Dammit, Rey,” he hissed and his arms released her, suddenly bringing her to feel unsteady in the water before him. She hadn’t even realized that she had let him hold her, support her in the deep water. She had just…let him do it in a wanting haze.

                The knight slipped backward, treading water and shaking his head. “You’re cutting off a piece of yourself like this,” he said to her angrily, his pale face pinched. “You’re hampering yourself, believing that everything Light in the Force is _good_. It isn’t.” He tightened his lips into a hard line, a muscle clenching in his jaw. “You’re doing this to yourself and it isn’t-”

                “Everything in the Light _is_ good,” she snapped at him and there they were again then; arguing, fighting, as had become their way. “And everything of the Dark is bad!”

                “No,” he growled shortly back at her. “No. The Dark is power, emotion. And yes, anger. Fear. Sadness.” He sighed, that same look of disappointment crossing his face again and somehow stabbing at Rey to see it there as his words fell around her, heavy as stones. “But exhilaration, as well. Exactly what you felt earlier, that rush of emotion that came with the adrenaline.” He came close again, his hand lifting from the water, trailing droplets as he traced the backs of his fingertips along her skin lightly. “Beauty. Warmth. Cold.” He said then and his voice dropped low, a quiet murmur running beneath the lapping water, his eyes sliding down her cheek to watch his fingers caress her skin distractedly. “Both sides have such emotion and power. Light can be warm and cool at the same time, just as the Dark can.”

                She stared at him, attempting to understand his words even though his voice had fallen into a hum in her background, even though all she could feel were his fingers on her skin and her blood beginning to rush in her veins. She was sure color had risen to those cheeks he passed his fingers over, felt the blood swim toward the contact as if summoned. Such a light touch but enough to strip the breath from her.

                “If you are Light, you have moments of warmth toward me, moments of laughter but then also moments of anger. And you have moments of coldness in you as well, moments of coolness and moments of softness, emotions that are too distant or detached to be Light. All emotions are equal parts Light and Darkness and you don’t even _understand_ it-”

                The anger rose up in her quickly as she understood that he seemed to know her better than she knew herself, that he would speak to her the way he did. He didn’t understand her. He barely even _knew_ her. Now, that blood rushing to her cheeks came from an entirely different emotion. “I don’t murder people the way Dark Siders do,” she hissed at him through clenched teeth, staring him dead in his eyes.

                His eyes flickered, long lashes fluttering as his fingers froze on her cheek.

                Yes. That right there. That was what she wanted. She wanted him to stop talking, to stop trying to make her see his side, to stop whispering and being as conniving as a snake in the grass. He could influence her so easily and she didn’t even know when she had started to succumb to him and his smooth voice. She hated that she could even feel the way that she did, that she could see her weakness in herself as she did. Because if she could see it, she would not fool herself into thinking that he didn’t.

                He floated away from her, his fingers dropping away. There it was in his eyes again as he averted them, the slight shake to his head that she wouldn’t have noticed had it not been for a wet errant lock of his hair hanging off his temple. As he moved, it shifted, caught the sun overhead, gleamed for the small second it took to sway and come back to hang over his eye.

                Hesitating before her, floating in the water as the tide rippled lazily, he took a moment to gather his words. But in the end it seemed they failed him for he merely turned his head to look toward the beach, to search the banks before turning to look at her again at last. “Do you know the way back to your dwelling?” he asked quietly, the shift in tone rumbling in his voice.

                Rey felt her glare falter slightly. “Yes,” she responded stiltedly, lifting her chin and attempting to wash away the emotion she felt on her face and within, attempting to portray indifference. As if nothing had happened here between them today even though she knew her world had shifted under her floating feet yet again.

                He nodded once, brusquely, and then turned without another word and moved to swim back toward the beach.

                Rey watched him go, her eyebrows drawing in as she floated, as she waited. She watched as he reached beach floor, as he shifted to stand in the water and then straightened, water falling from his flight suit easily, from his broad shoulders. She watched as he pushed through the waves and rippling water to reach the shore and then continued on without another look back toward her.

                A part of her watched him as he strode through the beach and curved along the descending edges of the land that had become the cliff overhead that they had jumped from. She watched as he ascended to flowing greenery at the very edge of sand meeting grass, staring as the waving greens swallowed up the bottom of his long legs and watched as he began to disappear into oncoming forest.

                And then he was gone and she was alone in the water, floating; alone in her thoughts because at least when he had been in the water with her, he had somehow been in her head with her.

                She hadn’t been alone.

                But now she was alone once again and she found that she hated the feeling, positively despised it. And she hadn’t realized it until just that very moment. She hadn’t realized how much she had hated it until she had been left alone and all he had done was try to…to…

                He had tried to make her trust him.

                She lifted a hand from the water, drops flying as she brought it to rub at her eyes, as she looked out across the vast blue openness before her almost blindly. How beautiful, how perfect, and she had ruined it because he had made her feel something.

                _Something_.

                With a hard shake of her head at herself, she made to swim to the beach, to leave the water behind, that beautiful, wonderful exhilaration that she had felt when she had jumped, as she had fallen. She suddenly needed to leave it behind even though it had been the most wondrous feeling.

                She had felt alive then, she realized, as she swam for the shore. She had felt more than she had felt in so long, possibly more than she had ever felt in her life. The Force calmed her, always had, when she used it. But if the knight was right, there was much more to be had, much more to be felt. And she wanted it. She _wanted_ it. She wanted to feel more, wanted to feel what she had felt as she had clasped his hand and jumped, her heart flying into her throat and the screams in her head falling away into nothingness as they had fallen in blissful quiet, hands clasped.

                Hands clasped.

                She reached the shore and came to her feet, standing, a hand lifting to wipe the water from her mouth and nose, breathing heavily. The knight had long since disappeared but she almost felt him still; in her hands, under her fingertips. In her head and in her heart, his eyes floating before her eyes dreamily, the look he had given her before he had urged her to jump, to trust in him.

                That moment had been magical.

                With a hard grimace, she began to trudge through the soft sand toward the grass, following after the knight and hoping she hadn’t lied when she had told him that she had known how to get back to her little hole in the cliff wall.

                As she began to head off in the direction she hoped was correct, she let her eyes scan the forests quickly. She didn’t feel him anymore, didn’t see him at all.

                But in the back of her head, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, she felt him hovering, quiet and disappointed in her still. And the thought, the feeling, was more than she could take in that moment. She needed it all to stop then; she needed the silence of the forests around her to have life again, needed the warm, beautiful breeze to not feel so cold on her wet and suddenly trembling form. And she needed to stop feeling him, stop thinking him into existence, stop him from making her feel as terrible as she suddenly felt.

                Stumbling away, she began the trek back around the side of the cliff, deep into the dark woods and into its cool shade, with its slowly brimming and comforting sounds of wildlife. And when she finally returned to her dwelling, she burrowed deep into it and curled up to rest along the back of the nook, just to stop thinking and feeling.

                Anything to stop feeling for the moment.

 

** Next Chapter – Chapter Twelve: **

Rey had a moment to breathe him in, woods and metal, before his massive form stood before her, before he enveloped her. Before his mouth came down on hers painfully, almost desperately.

 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is going to be another Smutty New Year!! I've had the chance over the last few days to work on this fic and have come to realize that I didn't complete my new years resolution to do the two series I wanted to do for Reylo. I'm actually seriously let down and disappointed in myself because I hit 2018 running with my writing and then the flash drive "incident" happened. My actual work still hasn't recovered. 
> 
> Either way, I am hoping to put out the next chapter before New Years but I can't promise. Either way, from here on out it is a SH*T TON of smut. Because I like smut and so should all of you Reylo fans, lol!!
> 
> If I don't get the chance to say, Happy New Year, everyone! Wishing you all the best time and the will to make awesome resolutions if you're the type! Lets kick off 2019 right!

Chapter Twelve:

 

                It was evening when she set out to bathe.

                She followed along the edge of the runoff once more, staying close to its border until she returned to the spot that she had found earlier in the day. The evening light was beautiful here, cresting the trees and sending a fiery golden red glow over the water and the forests beyond. She found herself inhaling deeply, a smile curling her lips as she watched the sun set, as it began to dip low behind treetops and bathed the stream in its luminescence.

                Her bath could not wait, though. She still didn’t know if larger creatures prowled in the dark and she did not want to find out tonight.

                Turning, she went in search of more of the lathering leaves, bunching them together. The ones that she had pulled before were back at her shelter, awaiting the next day to be used to cleanse her emergency flight suit. One day soon she would have to start figuring out how to make clothes from the trees and vegetation around her; to somehow construct some sort of clothing from the planet’s resources.

                She accumulated a few more of the minty leaves as well, the makeshift toothbrush still in her pocket from that morning.

                Finding her way back to the runoff, she tossed a bunch of mint into her mouth around the makeshift toothbrush and plopped down at the edge of the pond to begin to untie her boots.

                As she undressed, she munched on the leaves, tossing her boots aside and then pausing to look around before beginning to strip herself of the flight suit. She unhooked Luke’s lightsaber from the belt and shoved it into a sleeve of the flight suit, wrapping the uniform into a ball but allowing the edge of the weapon to peek out so she could maintain a clear view of it as she bathed.

                Once naked, she knelt at the water once more and brushed her teeth with the twig brush, rinsing her mouth out of the chewed leaves. Already feeling better, her breath and teeth minty and clean, she reached into the pockets of her balled-up uniform and pulled out some of the lathering leaves that she had gathered earlier.

                Extending a leg to dip a toe, she found the water to be cool. Not as cold as the day she had practically frozen to death when searching for the emergency items from her downed X-wing, but cold enough that she expected her bath to be thorough yet quick. With the coming night, the temperature would drop enough and she did not need to experience hypothermia twice in a little over a week.

                Clutching the leaves in her palm, she carefully walked into the stream, stiffening whenever the ripples pushed the cold water higher than she was primed for.

                Jakku had not prepared her for this at _all_.

                Wading deeper into the water, she felt herself shiver as she submerged her knees, as the water climbed up her thighs. She allowed it to lap at her quivering belly and tailbone before finally setting herself to bathe. Rubbing the leaves between her palms, they lathered up as soon as she added some water to the clump. She set about to cleanse herself, disposing of the leaves themselves once they had been thoroughly used and wilted, using the lather left behind in her palms. Paying careful attention to her limbs and massaging away the strange tingles she had begun to feel since she had almost frozen, she found that she had just enough clean lather to wash her hair as well. She had passed several types of blooming flowers in her search for the lathering leaves and the mint, and she wished then that she had plucked some of those to add to the lather. The lathering leaves themselves had a fresh scent to them but it would have been nice to have a floral addition to the hair wash. Later, when she gathered a bit more leaves to wash out the flight suit she currently used, she would scoop up some petals, any that smelled lovely.

                Preparing herself, she took a deep breath and counted to three before crouching and submerging herself fully into the stream. The iciness immediately traveled through her entire body, freezing her in place momentarily. Underwater, she rinsed the lather from her limbs and hair, scrubbing herself clean before standing to her feet once more and taking in a much-needed gasp of late evening air. Lifting her hands to her wet hair to brush it back from her face, she rubbed at her eyes to rid them of water before opening them.

                The knight stood at the edge of the stream, back in his Knights of Ren uniform though unmasked, his face curiously blank. His dark eyes fell down her body to the water lapping at her waist as she started, his lips parting, before his gaze swept back up slowly, almost carefully.

                Rey fought the urge to cross her arms over her breasts to hide herself away from his eyes. She was not afraid of him and she refused to show him that he had any sort of power or control over her, physically or emotionally, though she realized that she had a moment where she was almost relieved to see him.

                How strange, she thought fleetingly, especially after the way they had parted ways earlier.

                She assumed it was because she had become accustomed to having people around her. It was such a departure from when she had existed alone on Jakku, depending only on herself and her ability to secure food to hold her over for just one more day.

                She remembered a second later that she was supposed to hate the man standing at the stream’s edge. Clenching her hands into fists at her sides, she instead lifted her chin at him, her brow drawing low as she resisted the urge yet again to cross her arms over her chest. “What do you want?” she asked him roughly, her jaw clamping shut hard enough to cause an ache at the jawline.

                He didn’t respond for a long moment, his stare caught to her face only now, searching her eyes as if looking for something within.

                Feeling herself begin to tremble again slightly, whether from the intensity of his gaze or the cold water surrounding her and beginning to numb her legs, she nonetheless kept herself firm and rigid. “You and I have nothing more to say to each other,” she declared. “I have thanked you for everything you have taught me and for the shelter you have provided me. But I also made it quite clear that I wanted nothing to do with you, with the Dark Side, and to be honest? I think you feel the same. So if you would please just go-”

                She broke off as the knight bowed his head to his hands and began to pull at the fingers of his leather gloves, yanking to remove them.

                Rey hesitated uncertainly, watching him.

                The knight pulled both gloves off and then lifted his head back up, his eyes meeting hers.

                Her heart beginning to race with something dark and wanton, she felt in that moment that whatever he was about to do, she would welcome it, would even _crave_ it. Half of her looked almost frantically toward her discarded flight suit, to the lightsaber peeking out from the sleeve. If she had it, she could be stronger, she thought blindly, futilely. She could put up some sort of fight, could hide behind the weapon and use it as an excuse.

                Stop him from doing something that she knew she would want.

                Her eyebrows rose slightly as the knight tossed the gloves aside and followed it with the tattered hood of his uniform, as he stepped into the pond angrily as if he owned it. Then he was wading deeper into the water, nearing, and Rey didn’t know what to do with herself, didn’t know whether to turn and flee, or stay and confront him.  

                He reached her, his black uniform dampening from the pond, his hands sweeping up to take hold of her face and cradle it in warm palms. Rey had a moment to breathe him in, woods and metal, before his massive form stood before her, before he enveloped her. Before his mouth came down on hers painfully, almost desperately.

                For a moment, she was lost in him. She felt his hard form beneath the rough weave of his tunic, felt the tight grip of his fingers on her face, felt his immense heat as he kissed her. His lips were firm on hers, his figure rigid as she found it pressed to hers, coarse clothes against her wet and tender flesh. And when he found her accommodating, he deepened the kiss, forced her lips apart under his and met his tongue with hers unkindly then yearningly, no longer as hard as he melted into her.

                Was it because she had been naked in the pond where anyone could find her and see? Or was it more? Was it because they had shared several moments in the light of the fire he had set to warm her when she had been in danger of dying from hypothermia? When she had reached for him in her confusion? When she had found her fingers trailing across a tight, hard form and reveled in it, relished his breadth and strength, been aroused by his naked body pressed to hers, even the welts of his scars?

                Or afterward when they had reached for each other in the cool darkness behind the waterfall, in the blue shadows, adrenaline spiking after their fight that had ended with her half-naked in his arms and desperate for every part of him to take her over and consume her in lust?

                His hands left her face and trailed light fingertips down her neck and shoulders, down toward her breasts. She wanted his hands on her body again, more than she wanted anything else then; more than food, more than air, more than warmth in these cold waters. Which was a conundrum for he sparked heat throughout her entire body with his caress, so much that she almost couldn’t feel the chill anymore.

                She shouldn’t be doing this, she thought dimly, meeting his tongue with hers, tilting her head to receive a deeper kiss from him. She shouldn’t want this, want _him_.

                His thumb passed over a nipple that had long since hardened, first in the cold and then under his gaze. Now they were such tight peaks that she couldn’t remember what they usually felt like when she wasn’t aroused. She felt a moan slide out of her as he left her mouth, as he bent to follow after his hands, lips slipping down the column of damp neck to her shoulder.

                Realizing she had hands, she lifted them blindly to his wrists, clutched at them as he buried his face into her neck and breathed her in deeply. No longer caring, she tightened her grip and forced his hands lower, urged his palms onto her breasts. She wanted to be touched there, _caressed_ there, and she didn’t want to have to speak the words, to ask him to do it aloud. If she did, she gave herself away, she understood distantly in the darkened recesses of her mind. If she asked him to touch her the way she needed to be touched then, she could no longer blame only him for any consequences suffered afterward, any anger turned toward him; she would have been a willing participant and she didn’t think she could live with herself if she asked this murderer, this _monster_ , to soothe her ache.

                “I want you to say them,” he whispered into her neck, slowing in his touch, palms settling over her breasts and fingertips light on her chest. “I want to hear the words.”

                She shook her head, eyebrows drawing up at the shiver that traveled down her body to the tender spot between her thighs. She wouldn’t say them and damn him for reading her thoughts, for picking them up a thread at a time from the spool that was her mind. This ability of the Force Sensitives; how easily he wielded it and how easily he seemed to be able to delve into her mind when she could barely lift a rock without concentrating fully on it or doing it out of fear and panic.

                And damn this bond that they now shared, that tethered them together and allowed nothing and no one else in.

                “Say them,” he murmured again and his lips trailed toward her ear, tongue slipping out to taste the dampness of her skin, to lift a water drop away with a sigh. “Say them and I will do what you ask of me.” He pressed his forehead to her temple, resting it wearily against hers as his voice became distressed, his shoulders lifting and falling with quickening breath. “I will do _anything_ you want-”

                “Touch me,” she whispered in a helpless moan and she hated herself immediately for saying what he had wanted her to, for understanding how easily her body could betray her at his smallest touch. But she tilted her cheek into his hair, her body and expression straining as she spoke the words again, as she practically whimpered them against his temple. “Touch me-”

                With a groan, he turned to her mouth once more, claiming a hard kiss as his hands cupped her feverishly, as his fingers slipped down to grasp, to pinch.

                Her cry rang throughout the forests around them, seeming to silence dwindling birdsong, and she moaned again, softly this time and against his mouth, his tongue, as he demanded more of her. He was suddenly almost frantic, clutching at her, palming her and twisting, devouring her. She didn’t know what to do, couldn’t focus on any one thing for he was everywhere at once, overloading her with sensation at his touch. She could only hover in his embrace and allow him to do whatever he wanted, whatever she hadn’t realized she needed.

                His hand left a breast, a breeze cooling the heated skin he left behind, and he wrapped an arm around her waist tightly, angrily, dragging her up against him and making her very aware of his hardness, of his desire for her.

                She understood his anger, understood his sudden roughness with her. She had stripped him of everything, as he had her, when she had voiced her own desires and wants. He had asked it of her and she had given him what he had wanted in that moment, and now they were angry with each other for having been so _weak_ , but it was all said and done.

                Now there would be nothing but consequences.

                He bent her backward almost painfully over the arm he had curled at her waist, his mouth demanding of her, his pelvis pushing into her belly. They were still deep into the racing stream, causing ripples in the water, ripples in each other, but she was no longer cold. She wanted every piece of him, everything he would give her. Things he would _refuse_ to give her.

                She wanted those things the most.

                _I won’t be the only one to suffer here._

                Leaving her lips, his burned a wet trail down her neck and chest before slipping to the side, to the breast he had left. His tongue lapped at her nipple once, twice, as if he found her sweet. And then he closed his mouth around it, sucking at her as if he thirsted utterly and completely.

                As if he had encountered fresh, clean water in the dunes of Jakku, she thought dimly as she called out again into the twilight around them, as she raised her hand to his head of wild waves and sank her fingers into them, pulling, yanking desperately.

                An oasis that would turn into a mirage eventually.

                He made a small sound against her breast as he tasted her, as he sucked hard enough to leave red marks that would purple within a day. Everything about him was hard and vicious, she thought as she grimaced at the pleasure and the pain. Brutal, almost vindictive.

                She suddenly heard his voice in her head, her eyes fluttering open for a moment before closing once more tightly as he dragged her that much harder against him, his hands and mouth angry, his tongue slipping around her nipple before his teeth nipped at her. Almost violent, she thought with a slight wince at a small shiver of pain from his touch.

                But everything about her was hard and vicious to him as well with her gentle touch, she realized a second later. She found that she could understand his airy thoughts, heard them float in her head, passing between them on a slender thread, along the tendrils of their bond.

                Just as she found him to be too rough with her body and heart, too angry, he found her just as painful to bear with her gentleness, her soft but desperate desire; the plaintive edge to her words and the softness of her fingers across his skin and in his hair. He did not understand tenderness, didn’t know what to do with it or how to accept it when given.

                And she realized, as if looking directly into his mind through a glass wall, that he was half-swimming and half-drowning in her, in her compassion, her kind touch; he battled with it just as he constantly battled with the two sides of himself that he refused to even acknowledge.

                Always the Light and the Dark.

                He cursed against her breast, his head turning away from her and into her arm and wrist for she still had her fingers wrapped up in his thick, black locks.

                She cursed as well, dimly and deep in her mind, her body wanting more of him. Needing him even though she didn’t know _why_ she needed him. Her body confused her; she needed his touch, his lips and mouth, his body. _Him._ But she didn’t understand why he would want _her_ , what he would feel, what he would take from her if she gave herself to him.

                Growling deep inside, a rumble that she felt reverberate in her own body, he released her other breast and wound his arm to join the first at her waist. His lips passed over her nipple again almost absentmindedly, bottom lip caressing her and causing her to breathe shallowly.

                Then his arms were tightening around her back, lifting her onto him.

                She allowed him to shift her around, confused and then squeaking softly as he hauled her out of the water and onto his torso, one hand dropping to her thigh to lift it and wrap it around his hips. The other switched at her waist and then mimicked the first, dropping to her thigh and wrapping the leg around him until she was spread open and pressed against his abdomen, naked and waiting. Her arms had reflexively coiled around his neck and shoulders when he had pulled her out of the water and now she found that she could only breathe heavily, matching his own breaths as he hesitated with her in his arms.

                He gazed at her for a long moment as she dripped water to the rushing surface of the stream, as she realized that his black uniform was dry save for the trouser legs submerged in the water, for her own wet skin now dampening his clothes. His dark eyes reflected the setting sun at her back, gleamed brightly as if a fire burned at their center, and she could only stare at him as he blazed. He was beautiful, dark waves reflecting the brilliance of the red glow, of the dying daylight.

                How had this happened, she thought painfully, the beginnings of panic rising within. How had he done this to her?

                His lips tightened into a firm line, his dark eyes dropping to her mouth, and she realized he had once again pulled her thoughts right out of her head. Somehow, she was sorry that he had heard her, that he’d understood yet again that she was afraid of him and hated him.

                That they were enemies.

                “Not right now,” he whispered and he lifted a hand along her back to her head, pulling her down to meet his mouth hungrily, the other arm curled tightly under her rear and around her hips.

                _Not right now_ , she agreed, and she met his lips once more.

 

** Next Chapter - Chapter Thirteen:  **

Shaking her head again, Rey couldn’t even look at him anymore. How had they gotten here? Mere moments before, he had awakened such things in her, in her body and her mind. And now she was back to being his prisoner, his _sacrifice_. She finally stopped, her chest rising and falling heavily under his frame, her strength ebbing away with each second that he kept he trapped to this terrible, unknown planet.

 

 


End file.
